moonlightpath Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 What makes you feel better during the day? I have ups and downs. Yesterday was a nice day because I was busy all day with family. But not all days are like that. I met up with a friend and had a few drinks. But not one of those people who always turns to alcohol during a hard time. Today wasn't the best day. I was home alone most of the day. I spoke with a friend from college. We have plans to see each other next week. But until then I don't have much going on to keep myself busy. Today I started packing to return to college next week. That helps keep me busy.
TheyCallMeOx Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 When I was watching porn, porn would help me feel better. It wouldn't make me feel great, but it gave me a brief moment of...betterness. Video games have helped me cope because it distracted me for a brief little while. Sex has proven to be pretty good with coping, in my situation, because it's brought back some much needed self-confidence and a good distraction. I'm a personal blogger and blogging has helped me keep track of my feelings and be more aware of my surroundings, so it's helped me cope by staying productive. The best thing that has helped me so far was crying, actually. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 When I was watching porn, porn would help me feel better. It wouldn't make me feel great, but it gave me a brief moment of...betterness. Video games have helped me cope because it distracted me for a brief little while. Sex has proven to be pretty good with coping, in my situation, because it's brought back some much needed self-confidence and a good distraction. I'm a personal blogger and blogging has helped me keep track of my feelings and be more aware of my surroundings, so it's helped me cope by staying productive. The best thing that has helped me so far was crying, actually. Sex is the last thing on my mind right now. Although yesterday the friend i had a drink with was an old ex. Not proud to say it, but things with him went further than I anticipated. It felt nice on the moment. I felt light and carefree. But afterwards I felt a bit bad about myself.
Haydn Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Time really does work. Not when someone says time heals but when you realize what was all the fuss about. Someone does not want us. It hurts like hell but relish the fact as time passes and you slowly pick up the bits of you that you are everywhere and that nothing they did was worth anything to you now they have gone. They lost you. Good luck. 2
TheyCallMeOx Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Sex is the last thing on my mind right now. Although yesterday the friend i had a drink with was an old ex. Not proud to say it, but things with him went further than I anticipated. It felt nice on the moment. I felt light and carefree. But afterwards I felt a bit bad about myself. That's probably because he's an old ex. I'd probably feel bad if I had sex with an old ex, as well. However, if it's a woman that I met somewhere, or whatever the case may be (that I have no emotional connection with), then I wouldn't feel bad. I wouldn't recommend sex because you don't want to grow dependent on something to make you happy. Plus, sex can really complicate things. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 I know sex isn't the way to go. But I didn't want to look back and remember that the last guy I kissed and had sex with was the guy who broke my heart and left me for someone else. Which is why I decided to go further with my old ex yesterday.
TheyCallMeOx Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 I know sex isn't the way to go. But I didn't want to look back and remember that the last guy I kissed and had sex with was the guy who broke my heart and left me for someone else. Which is why I decided to go further with my old ex yesterday. It all depends on your perspective of things, really. If you change your perspective, you change everything else. You didn't have to have sex with your old ex-boyfriend. Hell, you probably could've had sex with me! You'd be sending yourself down a spiral if you do things because of past events. We shouldn't let our current decisions be decided based on things that have happened in the past. Yeah, you had sex with your old ex boyfriend, so now you can say that the last time you had sex was NOT with the dude who dumped you, but now you've had sex with a dude BECAUSE of your ex. In order to cope with heartbreak, you've gotta make decisions for yourself rather than let the ones who aren't in your life anymore influence your current decisions.
Reels Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Whenever I end up writing a article, I feel good.
guest569 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 That's interesting, I absolutely avoid even thinking about sex or watching porn etc. It hurts. My libido was pretty much destroyed from the breakup/depression. I don't want to see any couples or any sort of romance whatsoever. 1
Always Pondering Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 The "downs" have been extremely rare lately and overwhelmed by the ups but when I used to feel down a lot, I took up some new hobbies and interests. Working out, participating in races, reading books, going to work or the park, anything to get out of the house really. I still do all of those but because it's fun and beneficial in some way. 1
Mr Scorpio Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Talking about it (which is what you're doing on here) and exercise. More exercise. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 (edited) I know I'm acting out a bit. And I should not have slept with my ex. I'm just so desperate to feel normal again. It's hard. And I am completely avoiding porn. My sex drive is totally dead right now. Edited August 17, 2014 by moonlightpath Added
zhaulk Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 It's been about 4 months since the breakup and my sex drive still isn't quite right. It's weird how it takes so much out of you. In terms of feeling better..this may sound a little weird, and I'm not sure why I do it but one thing that makes me feel better, is I kind of..imagine this conversation with someone who's known me for a long time. They are talking to me, from the future. It's like 6 months from now and I'm at my goal weight, and I'm totally over the breakup. They ask me if I have talked to my ex and I say no. They ask me if she's reached out to me, and I say no. I tell them that I'm happy in my life, and I've never looked or felt better, etc. Again, I know it's weird but it helps me sometimes. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 Sometimes I feel better when I think of how I can change my life to go back to the way it was before him. 1
zhaulk Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Yeah, and you can do that. It just really takes a long time. How was your life different before?
guest569 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 It's been about 4 months since the breakup and my sex drive still isn't quite right. It's weird how it takes so much out of you. It's been 7 months for me and I have the same experience. I have found that nothing in particular makes me feel better. I just go along with it and gradually I am improving. Sure, I am trying to keep busy and feel like I am achieving things and have a purpose, but I cant really control my moods.. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 Yeah, and you can do that. It just really takes a long time. How was your life different before? Well a year ago I was new in the city. I didn't know many people. I met a couple of guys. I causally dated both of them. My best times were with those guys. I was single. I loved being with my most recent ex. But lately things were not they way they were in the beginning. I was happy with him. But I was also happy with my life a year ago. When he wasn't even in the picture.
JDPT Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Working on finding inner happiness always helps.... 1
learning_slowly Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 I think maybe you're feeling so lonely etc is because you have had a break up , but also because you don't have many friends. Is there no interest on meetup.com where you can get to know people for friendship sake rather than romance? Most humans are social creatures and you need that stimulation, otherwise we feel down. For a start, try having a chat to your local shopkeeper, when you get your groceries. Another reason not to buy at big supermarket chains if you can afford it. 1
music_and_poetry Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 I went to an amusement and water park yesterday - had a fantastic time and he was not really on my mind! The adrenaline of going on some of the more daring rides helped I think. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 I think maybe you're feeling so lonely etc is because you have had a break up , but also because you don't have many friends. Is there no interest on meetup.com where you can get to know people for friendship sake rather than romance? Most humans are social creatures and you need that stimulation, otherwise we feel down. For a start, try having a chat to your local shopkeeper, when you get your groceries. Another reason not to buy at big supermarket chains if you can afford it. I agree with the "no friends" part. I deeply regret turning my ex into my best friend.
Author moonlightpath Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 I went to an amusement and water park yesterday - had a fantastic time and he was not really on my mind! The adrenaline of going on some of the more daring rides helped I think. I went shopping today. I actually had a pretty nice day. Hope it stays this way. 1
music_and_poetry Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I went shopping today. I actually had a pretty nice day. Hope it stays this way. Retail therapy helps too I think. I pretty much don't care if he comes back anymore, however there is an event with mutual friends coming up in the next two weeks that I plan to go to. It'll be the first time seeing him in over 2 months and you better BELIEVE I'm going to treat myself to a pair of jeans that make my ass look great and a sexy shirt! Strange as it sounds I'll feel better if I look really good and feel super confident lol. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 Retail therapy helps too I think. I pretty much don't care if he comes back anymore, however there is an event with mutual friends coming up in the next two weeks that I plan to go to. It'll be the first time seeing him in over 2 months and you better BELIEVE I'm going to treat myself to a pair of jeans that make my ass look great and a sexy shirt! Strange as it sounds I'll feel better if I look really good and feel super confident lol. Shopping really did help. It gave me something to look forward to and was a great distraction. I hope your event goes well! I'm just glad that chances of me running into my ex again are very low.
me85 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 During the day, work. During the night, alcohol. The days I'm not at work it's hard because I spend my time alone. I haven't been able to game now for a very long time which has honestly made me real depressed but I'm about to start back!!!!!! So that will help TREMENDOUSLY. 1
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