nohope Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Met a girl very recently. It was set up through my roommate who's her best friend. We clicked right away, and she literally had all the qualities that I could hope for: intelligent and ambitious (in med school, aiming for top residency), beautiful & physically in great shape, same cultural background as me (we both speak same native tongue, family values the same), amazing personality (real sweetheart, went out of her way to do so many nice things for me in a short span of time), very funny, and similar interests (outdoor stuff with a mix of partying). My roommate told me that she's also the sort of girl who when we likes someone, she will go out of her way for them. Things were going great, and she was leaving town for a few weeks for some school related things. We all went out on her last night in town, and I was supposed to drive her to the airport in the morning. However, I got blackout drunk, and acted like a complete ass. Acting super creepy/needy, following her around, acting pouty/upset, then making up lies about why I was upset, questioning how committed she was to "us", and just generally repulsive behavior. We chatted a couple of nights after (didn't end up taking her to airport), and she told me this probably isn't gonna work out. I spoke to my roommate about it and she confirmed that I pretty much killed all the attraction at such an early stage. And I know it's hopeless now. I'm not gonna sit here wishing it'll fix itself. If someone did the same thing to me so early on, I'd probably feel the same way as she did, and I know even with my other LTRs, if I had acted like this at the start of us dating, the same thing would have happened. My question is coming to grips with the fact that I may have messed up what could have been shaping up to be the best relationship I have been involved in, and that I won't ever have a shot with a girl of her caliber again. I'm being truly objective about this.. it's not a first relationship for me by any means as I've been in several LTRs. Also, if it had been later on in the relationship that things didn't work out, then I know that at that point, it wasn't meant to. But this early on, I know a single mistake can (and in this case was) fatal. Extremely hard time coping with this idea. Any advice? All I wish I could do is just take that night back.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 First things first - you need to ask yourself why you behaved that way. Alcohol isn't the reason, it only lowered your inhibitions. What caused you to act out like that?
Ronni_W Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Why you did what you did is a different question for a different thread. I think that you'd have a better chance of accepting, coming to grips with your massive, temporary loss of sanity and good judgment if you at least tried at least once to explain to her that you suffered from temporary loss of contact with reality that night. Appeal to her sense of humour and compassion. Print out your post and ask -- BEG -- her to meet you for coffee just one time, please, please, please. Then read it to her...add as much humour as you can -- not of the self-deprecating kind, but in a general "can you believe anyone could do this?" kind of way that is about some third-person person that can almost be described as an alien on Earth. At least try to fix it...in person. Then if you find out that you totally effed things up for keeps and permanently...well, then lots of humour about how deranged and alien-to-Earth-humanity you acted that ONE time in your long life.
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