melandrien Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Hey, So, I could use an opinion on my current situation with this girl. First we were only in contact over e-mails (work related, one time business between our companies). After the business part was done we kept going in a very light hearted conversation and decided to meet after a few days. We went for a coffee, spent whole afternoon there. I did enjoy it, and think she did as well. It was actually her who kept saying we should have another coffee or water, if I’m not in a rush. After the evening ended, i walked her to her car, kissed her goodbye, went home. An hour later I sent her a short text I enjoyed the evening and would like to see her again, she immediately replied she enjoyed it as well, and that we’ll meet again. The following days we exchanged a few texts, I tried to hook up with her again, first time she refused for what seemed to be a legitimate reason (family business, or so she said), second time (2 days ago) she didn’t even reply. My ego and previous experiences tell me to let go. Also a chick-friend advice I got was to 'next' her. So tell me, what would you do? What would you tell her if you decide to contact her again? I do have other options, a lot of things going on in my life, this is not an act of desperation. If I knew she ignored me on purpose, it would take me about 2 microseconds to forget about her and move on to the next. Actually this is not about her, but about myself - am I too quick with my judgment?
oberkeat Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 (edited) The first time she said no, and didn't counter-offer. The second time, she ignored you altogether. In simple language: she flaked. Happens all the time. Delete her number from your phone. Edited August 16, 2014 by oberkeat 1
Author melandrien Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 Just did. You're totally right, just wanted to see if it's me being stupid. Not that it would matter if I still had her number or not, I'm not tempted.
Supernatural Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Ya. When I don't see counter offer, It's done. I would move along. Women are strange like that. On dates everything is awesome. You flirt, touch, kiss... The second they are not around you... Something in their brain changes. I chalk it up to thinking too much. Hard to say though. But it says more about them, then it does about you. 1
smackie9 Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 You were an option....so make her an option and move on. 1
Georgia2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Just did. You're totally right, just wanted to see if it's me being stupid. Not that it would matter if I still had her number or not, I'm not tempted. Your better off without her. The same thing happened to me. A guy stopped texting me and was not eager to set up another date.
Author melandrien Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 Your better off without her. The same thing happened to me. A guy stopped texting me and was not eager to set up another date. Same thing happened to everyone I guess. It's natural, that you can lose interest. What I don't get is why they don't simply tell you. I always did that, instead of simply ignoring the girl. Granted, the conversation is awkward from my side and want to be finished ASAP, but I do it anyway. If she didn't do anything wrong, then being honest is the least I can do for her. 1
oberkeat Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Same thing happened to everyone I guess. It's natural, that you can lose interest. What I don't get is why they don't simply tell you. I always did that, instead of simply ignoring the girl. Granted, the conversation is awkward from my side and want to be finished ASAP, but I do it anyway. If she didn't do anything wrong, then being honest is the least I can do for her. Being direct is more of a masculine trait. Most women like to avoid a confrontation. They don't know how you'll react to rejection, so it's easier for them to just go on radio silence. 2
Supernatural Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Same thing happened to everyone I guess. It's natural, that you can lose interest. What I don't get is why they don't simply tell you. I always did that, instead of simply ignoring the girl. Granted, the conversation is awkward from my side and want to be finished ASAP, but I do it anyway. If she didn't do anything wrong, then being honest is the least I can do for her. In a perfect world. Women never tell you the truth or be honest. Yet, they expect it. Even if you date a woman for 5 years. They never actually tell you why they are mad; it wasn't because you left the toilet seat up, I guarantee it. Ever seen two girls mad at each other? They go dead silent when around one another. And if they do talk, they don't talk about the actual problem. They are afraid of the actual issue. They let it fester. Ever seen two guys mad at each other? One punches the other and they kick the **** out of each other. Then go grab a beer like nothing ever happened. Add a man to the woman scenario... Nothing really changes. It's frustrating for men. We were born to battle and fight the good fight. It's the difference between a cat and a dog.
Author melandrien Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 In a perfect world. Women never tell you the truth or be honest. Yet, they expect it. Even if you date a woman for 5 years. They never actually tell you why they are mad; it wasn't because you left the toilet seat up, I guarantee it. Ever seen two girls mad at each other? They go dead silent when around one another. And if they do talk, they don't talk about the actual problem. They are afraid of the actual issue. They let it fester. Ever seen two guys mad at each other? One punches the other and they kick the **** out of each other. Then go grab a beer like nothing ever happened. Add a man to the woman scenario... Nothing really changes. It's frustrating for men. We were born to battle and fight the good fight. It's the difference between a cat and a dog. I'm gonna steal that quote one day.
todreaminblue Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 In a perfect world. Women never tell you the truth or be honest. Yet, they expect it. Even if you date a woman for 5 years. They never actually tell you why they are mad; it wasn't because you left the toilet seat up, I guarantee it. Ever seen two girls mad at each other? They go dead silent when around one another. And if they do talk, they don't talk about the actual problem. They are afraid of the actual issue. They let it fester. Ever seen two guys mad at each other? One punches the other and they kick the **** out of each other. Then go grab a beer like nothing ever happened. Add a man to the woman scenario... Nothing really changes. It's frustrating for men. We were born to battle and fight the good fight. It's the difference between a cat and a dog. pffft.....women battle too we fight the good fight......men are just about as dishonest as women can be..... we all as people deal with dishonest people......people who struggle in being civil and thoughtful and who disappear fro no good reason.....but as men and as women fighting the good fight ...to m e...means not tarring people with the same brush because of bad experiences.....believing that people are just like us and have bad days and confusion......that no one is perfect and you get up dust yourself off and try again thats fighting the good fight....when you get defeated you just keep trying.......live to battle on another day...... as far as cat and dogs go.....my cats and dogs get on fine .....they even look after each other.....one cats job is to clean all the animals..he volunteers even..and he does.....even when they get annoyed with him...cats and dogs can understand each other...when my cats are pissed off and not wanting the dogs around......the dogs make them self scarce..one look from one particular cat and the dogs do a ninja disappearing act...es[ecially the rottie.....she will use the wall as a defense so no cat can get her from the side.......and when my cats want the dogs around they let the cats sit on their heads...alls fair in love and war...........deb
Assasda Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 You should contact her again. Call her, if she doesnt respond, leave a message saying, that she can contact you whenever she wants to go out and have some fun
Author melandrien Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 pffft.....women battle too we fight the good fight......men are just about as dishonest as women can be..... we all as people deal with dishonest people......people who struggle in being civil and thoughtful and who disappear fro no good reason.....but as men and as women fighting the good fight ...to m e...means not tarring people with the same brush because of bad experiences.....believing that people are just like us and have bad days and confusion......that no one is perfect and you get up dust yourself off and try again thats fighting the good fight....when you get defeated you just keep trying.......live to battle on another day...... Funny thing is, I once had a chick friend told me something very similar. The same chick who flaked on me earlier, before we became friends. And I'm pretty sure what she said was meant 100% honest, she didn't even realize she did to me the very same thing she was now criticizing. I also rejected a few girls in my life, not always under circumstances I could be proud of, but I always tried to minimize the damage. Hurting them never was my objective, and as I said before, honesty is the least I can give them. Losing interest is normal, it just happens and there's nothing you can do about it. But ignoring someone = hurting them + being rude. And that's what I have a problem with. You should contact her again. Call her, if she doesnt respond, leave a message saying, that she can contact you whenever she wants to go out and have some fun The problem is, I'm not sure I want to go out with her, not this way. There'll be a cold day in hell before I even remotely beg for anyone's attention. If a girl can't be arsed to reply 'sorry, no time', then sorry, not interested. Rejection can be as simple as that, I can understand hints. I may send her a line on e-mail, just in case she lost her phone or whatever, s**t happens. But if she comes back with 'been too busy to send one text' or similar BS, then it's a no-go, whether she likes it or not. Already had to deal with enough attention seekers in my life.
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