Georgia2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 I have been hurt badly in the past by men. So naturally I am suspicious when ever I date someone new. I keep my barrier up pretty high. I have been on two dates with a new guy. Both times he wanted sex and I told him I wanted to wait. He claims he's not like the other guys and that he will be staying around and that he's different. I told him I heard that one before from my ex fiancée he said he was different to and my ex hurt me. I feel like he is saying that to get sex and then if I gave him sex he would disappear. Or could I be suspicious for nothing? I just feel like he is after sex. Also when we were together on our second date he used his phone and held it so I could not see the screen. I have a feeling he was messaging girls on the dating site we met. Why else would he care if I saw his phone? After our first date he asked me to go to a restaurant with him then minutes later took back the invitation because his friends were going. I saw him once since then. Does anyone else think my gut is right he is just after sex?
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 You have only been on 2 dates with him. You don't get to see his phone. You don't know each other well enough. That said, if he's on a date with you unless it's an emergency or to check on his kids, there was no reason for him to be on his phone. How rude. If he started off already pushing for sex, that in and of itself is a bad sign.
Author Georgia2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 You have only been on 2 dates with him. You don't get to see his phone. You don't know each other well enough. That said, if he's on a date with you unless it's an emergency or to check on his kids, there was no reason for him to be on his phone. How rude. If he started off already pushing for sex, that in and of itself is a bad sign. He doesn't have any kids. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought he was rude. He was on his phone messaging for several minutes. He had no reason to use his phone. If I should have to use my phone on a date I don't hide the screen of my phone. When I'm on a date I never message other guys.
ThorntonMelon Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 After 2 dates you should be excited for more, not questioning everything. This isn't your walls, this is common sense talking. Obviously you have a lot to offer a good guy, so hold out for him.
2sunny Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Pressed you for sex on both dates - and you've only been out twice? Hell no! RUN!
Author Georgia2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 After 2 dates you should be excited for more, not questioning everything. This isn't your walls, this is common sense talking. Obviously you have a lot to offer a good guy, so hold out for him. Thank you! I don't plan on giving him sex anytime soon. My last text I sent him last night he never replied. All though I do know he was not on that dating site. If he doesn't text me today that will definitely prove I was right. Even though he all ready kissed me on the second date he did not try to kiss me goodnight. Which is another reason why I am questioning his motives. Correct me if I'm wrong but if a guy really likes a girl doesn't he want to kiss her goodnight?
Assasda Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 People dont "give" people sex, people have sex together, so if youre not not doing that it means that you dont want to have sex yet. Also its way too early to be watching him and his phone. Have more fun, and dont get caught up in the relationship jealousy hollywood stuff
melandrien Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 (edited) What are you waiting for? Run for your life! Even though he all ready kissed me on the second date he did not try to kiss me goodnight. Which is another reason why I am questioning his motives. Correct me if I'm wrong but if a guy really likes a girl doesn't he want to kiss her goodnight? I think you're right with your instinct, but stop overthinking it. Generally, there can be a lot of awkwardness around first kiss, be it a good-night-kiss or not. A guy can get nervous and chicken out, or decide not to do it if he senses you're nervous about it. But really, in this case, steer clear of the guy, for your own good. Why would you be with someone who has a problem respecting your wish after 2nd date. Edited August 16, 2014 by melandrien
isisisweeping Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Generally, if someone is different they don't need to tell you early on, they show you through actions over time. I would have little tolerance if he is actually pushing for sex after you said you'd prefer to wait.
sid3 Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 There's no reason he should be on his phone if it wasn't an emergency. The pushing for sex on the first date, followed by the second should be more than enough to next this guy. 1
preraph Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 There's a lot of guys who will just tell you whatever you want to hear to get sex, from lying they love you to lying they are interested in the same things. Always always listen to your gut. It's a lot smarter than your heart.
Author Georgia2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 There's a lot of guys who will just tell you whatever you want to hear to get sex, from lying they love you to lying they are interested in the same things. Always always listen to your gut. It's a lot smarter than your heart. Yeah I agree. I found that the hard way last year guys will say anything to get sex. Which is why I didn't believe him.
Author Georgia2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 Generally, if someone is different they don't need to tell you early on, they show you through actions over time. I would have little tolerance if he is actually pushing for sex after you said you'd prefer to wait. He voluntarily said he was different. I do agree he should show he's different so far he hasn't shown that. If he were to text me I doubt I would respond. If I responded it would depend on what he said just to see if his actions matches his word saying he is different.
Kid_Charlemange Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Sounds awfully pushy... if you're looking for a relationship, then it seems logical to wait until it feels right. Two dates is awfully fast. Five? Well, that might be different, and at the very least it would appropriate to talk about that sort of thing. I was dating a woman for a while. Dates went great, and she was pretty "touchy," (in the good way, not the bad way so I figured things were going well. But after date 4, we wound up at her house, and she was clearly uncomfortable with anything physical. Fifth date, same deal, the date goes great, but as soon as we're back at her house she's deliberately sitting in a chair instead of on the couch, and when we do get into a potential "make out" situation, she's not into it. That was the last date -- I friendzoned myself. But two dates? Unreasonable. I wouldn't necessarily move on, but make it clear that you're looking for something longer term, and if he can't wait, it's been nice knowing him.
todreaminblue Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 I dotn think you shoudl tell any new guy you date unless you have known him for a whiel that you have been hurt...had a guy question my daughter son what had happened to em in the past and what i did like and what i didnt like early when dating him.....he was fishing for an advantage.....my daughter did what i would expect her too and said i think you should talk that over with mum not with me.......when they told me ...i informed him that if he wanted to know something to ask me....i am no longer goiing out with him this was one nail...... ..so be careful on opening up to a guy you dont know that well, if he is a dick he will use it....know him first and get to know him well....this guy sounds like he is interested in sex....and you gave him the bait so .....be careful..take a step back try to be objective, dont bring your ex and hsi treatment of you ..... into your current thoughts....do not show vulnerability to a guy you have no idea or feel confused about......until you know his intentions are ones that are good and right for you. then you can be open ..........deb.......
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