oberkeat Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 28, Male. So, about three months ago, this very attractive girl came down to the floor where I work. She had this little dog that she was sheltering, and was asking around to see if anyone was interested in adopting him. When she asked a group of us, I said something about not having room for him. She chatted with my coworkers for a little while then moved on (I don't recall saying much). She seemed to have a nice personality. Later, I asked one of my coworkers who she was. She told me that she works on the second floor (my office is on the third), and, said, "y'know, she just broke up with her boyfriend, so she's available." At the time, I was dating someone else, and besides, I figured, she's probably not ready for some rebound thing right now. I changed the subject. Three business trips and three or four months pass, and the girl I was dating is out of the picture. I took a look at the dog girl's linkedin profile. She seems to have lived an interesting life. Apparently we're both grad students, so that's one thing we seem to have in common. Should I strike up a conversation and ask her out, or leave it alone? I've always had a personal rule about not asking out coworkers, I think it's highly risky. However, my best friend met his wife at work (they worked in different offices).
michellew Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 28, Male. So, about three months ago, this very attractive girl came down to the floor where I work. She had this little dog that she was sheltering, and was asking around to see if anyone was interested in adopting him. When she asked a group of us, I said something about not having room for him. She chatted with my coworkers for a little while then moved on (I don't recall saying much). She seemed to have a nice personality. Later, I asked one of my coworkers who she was. She told me that she works on the second floor (my office is on the third), and, said, "y'know, she just broke up with her boyfriend, so she's available." At the time, I was dating someone else, and besides, I figured, she's probably not ready for some rebound thing right now. I changed the subject. Three business trips and three or four months pass, and the girl I was dating is out of the picture. I took a look at the dog girl's linkedin profile. She seems to have lived an interesting life. Apparently we're both grad students, so that's one thing we seem to have in common. Should I strike up a conversation and ask her out, or leave it alone? I've always had a personal rule about not asking out coworkers, I think it's highly risky. However, my best friend met his wife at work (they worked in different offices). It doesn't sound like you work that closely together since you're on different floors and didn't know who she was. I'd say you can make an exception this time. I wouldn't come right out and ask her out though...maybe email her and say something like, "hey! I just saw a [insert breed of puppy she brought in] and thought of you and that dog you brought in. Did you ever find a home for it?" 1
Author oberkeat Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 It doesn't sound like you work that closely together since you're on different floors and didn't know who she was. I'd say you can make an exception this time. I wouldn't come right out and ask her out though...maybe email her and say something like, "hey! I just saw a [insert breed of puppy she brought in] and thought of you and that dog you brought in. Did you ever find a home for it?" OK. Email, however, doesn't give her a face to a name; I'm pretty sure she doesn't know who I am. Would visiting her at her office to chat be appropriate?
Supernatural Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 I would say go for it. Don't e-mail her though. I would keep an eye out for her around the office/building. Approach when you see her; you have to as you don't see her often. Balls to the wall. That's a good line that michellew said. or just use "Did you ever find a home for that dog?"
Author oberkeat Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 My best friend's wife was actually his subordinate when he asked her out, so this seems like a less risky situation.
michellew Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 OK. Email, however, doesn't give her a face to a name; I'm pretty sure she doesn't know who I am. Would visiting her at her office to chat be appropriate? I wouldn't go visit her, but maybe "casually" run in to her and then strike up a conversation. I like emailing because if she's interested the email banter will continue and doesn't have to end after a brief run in. Maybe run into her first, making the small dog chat, and then send an email within 48 hours to say "it was great seeing you today. Glad you found a home for the dog. Ps. You looked great in that green scarf; it really brought out your beautiful eyes." (Cheesy I know, but women like when you point out specific things you notice about them, not just broad compliments. It shows you really payed close attention to her.)
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 From a female's perspective I wouldn't want to be approached for a date at my work especially from someone I don't even know. I would also find it off putting having the dog story used as a prop, it's so phoney because you don't have any real interest in it.Your window of opportunity to make contact was that very day she came in. You should have introduced yourself and struck up a conversation immediately. I'm not saying hit on her and ask her out....it was an opportunity to get your foot in the door and keep in casual contact until enough time has past. Asking her about the dog 4 months later???? better come up with something better than that. Get more info from the co-worker that told you she had just broke up with her BF. maybe they can help you get in contact with her or put it out there for you that you were asking about her. 1
Supernatural Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 From a female's perspective I wouldn't want to be approached for a date at my work especially from someone I don't even know. I would also find it off putting having the dog story used as a prop, it's so phoney because you don't have any real interest in it.Your window of opportunity to make contact was that very day she came in. You should have introduced yourself and struck up a conversation immediately. I'm not saying hit on her and ask her out....it was an opportunity to get your foot in the door and keep in casual contact until enough time has past. Asking her about the dog 4 months later???? better come up with something better than that. Get more info from the co-worker that told you she had just broke up with her BF. maybe they can help you get in contact with her or put it out there for you that you were asking about her. You blew your shot man! Time to get a time machine. The dog line isn't that bad. It's an ice breaker. Who cares if the pooch is a prop? Now go get er', you dog!
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Just giving a female's opinion that works in an office.
Supernatural Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Just giving a female's opinion that works in an office. And I respect. If he is well-spoken, friendly, and cool, I doubt she will be thinking... "ASSH*LE! Using my dog as a prop to start a conversation with me... NEXT!"
michellew Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 From a female's perspective I wouldn't want to be approached for a date at my work especially from someone I don't even know. I would also find it off putting having the dog story used as a prop, it's so phoney because you don't have any real interest in it.Your window of opportunity to make contact was that very day she came in. You should have introduced yourself and struck up a conversation immediately. I'm not saying hit on her and ask her out....it was an opportunity to get your foot in the door and keep in casual contact until enough time has past. Asking her about the dog 4 months later???? better come up with something better than that. Get more info from the co-worker that told you she had just broke up with her BF. maybe they can help you get in contact with her or put it out there for you that you were asking about her. He was trying to do the right thing by not taking an opportunity that day. He was seeing someone else and she had just broken up with someone. Getting involved then would have been much more disastrous than using the dog as a prop now.
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I never said he would come off as some jerk face. It just would be quiet awkward to be all of a sudden approached in an office where he has no business being in. It might not be well received. If they worked together or shared the same lunchroom or bump into each other in the elevator a few times a week and chit chatted, that would be different. I'm all for getting the girl, just find a better approach. He has an advantage because there is info about her on the net. Just do his reseach, talk to the co-worker that seems to know her and work on a plan. I would go with casually bumping into her and say" Oh you are the one that came by our office with the dog.....so how are you? btw my name is......you work here long?.......I was wondering if you would like to join my for coffee something? What's your number?" just like that.
truth_seeker Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 From a female's perspective I wouldn't want to be approached for a date at my work especially from someone I don't even know. I would also find it off putting having the dog story used as a prop, it's so phoney because you don't have any real interest in it.Your window of opportunity to make contact was that very day she came in. You should have introduced yourself and struck up a conversation immediately. I'm not saying hit on her and ask her out....it was an opportunity to get your foot in the door and keep in casual contact until enough time has past. Asking her about the dog 4 months later???? better come up with something better than that. Get more info from the co-worker that told you she had just broke up with her BF. maybe they can help you get in contact with her or put it out there for you that you were asking about her. I think he should try to find out where she hangs out and "bump" into her or if there are any co-worker group outings on the horizon. The co-worker after work outing would be ideal. He can approach her and say: "Hi, I'm OP, I remember seeing you on my floor with the dog. How did that work out?" Then go from there.
Author oberkeat Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 I never said he would come off as some jerk face. It just would be quiet awkward to be all of a sudden approached in an office where he has no business being in. It might not be well received. If they worked together or shared the same lunchroom or bump into each other in the elevator a few times a week and chit chatted, that would be different. I'm all for getting the girl, just find a better approach. He has an advantage because there is info about her on the net. Just do his reseach, talk to the co-worker that seems to know her and work on a plan. I would go with casually bumping into her and say" Oh you are the one that came by our office with the dog.....so how are you? btw my name is......you work here long?.......I was wondering if you would like to join my for coffee something? What's your number?" just like that. Yes, the problem with casually bumping into her...is that I never casually bump into her. Her office is downstairs, down the hall, in a department I don't work in and our paths never cross. I do know one person who works down there. Talking to my co-worker who is familiar with her to fix us up is an interesting suggestion, but my concern there is putting that person in an awkward position.
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Yes, the problem with casually bumping into her...is that I never casually bump into her. Her office is downstairs, down the hall, in a department I don't work in and our paths never cross. I do know one person who works down there. Talking to my co-worker who is familiar with her to fix us up is an interesting suggestion, but my concern there is putting that person in an awkward position. Doesn't hurt to ask. Or you can just ask more about her and find out where she hangs out, etc. Since she is single see if you can find her on a dating site....isn't that what most people do these days?
Author oberkeat Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 (edited) I mentioned her to my coworker who knows her today. She said the last time she went down to her office the other day to see her new puppy, she mentioned a new bf... Shucks! Edited August 18, 2014 by oberkeat
smackie9 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 awwwww too bad. I guess not everyone waits awhile before they get into another relationship. There is nothing stopping you from getting to know her anyways, there is no ring on her finger yet.
Michael 93 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Blessing in disguise believe me. Avoid dating coworkers completely my man honestly. Gets real messy!!
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