lonewalker Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Wall of text. Bear with me. I need to get if off me as I have no one to talk to. I lived in Asia in a little red dot country and I am chinese. She is from india working as a cabin crew. I get to know her as she was one of my client referred by my other client for financial planning. We knew each other as friends. It was 2 years after i knew her that we got together. I was in a process of healing from another one sided love that didnt even got started. She comforted and i grew to like her. We got together finally. That was almost 4.5 years ago. At first, she didnt want to start as she says becoz we are from different race and country, her mum would object to it. She is beautiful smart and gentle. We never fought (only once in our 4 years together). I am always happy when I am with her. She said she felt safe with me. She 1st broke up with me 2.5 years ago. She said that she still loved her ex bf. I gave her my blessing and went into depression myself. After beating myself up for a month, she came over and told me it is a lie. She didnt went back to her ex bf. She did it becoz her mum says no to our relationship. One year on, she become very distant and keep avoiding me. Then she broke up with me again. She said she didnt love me. I was devasted again. I went no contact. But she called me one night as something happened and her dad passed away. (I had the opportunity to help bring her dad around my country little red dot when he came over) so she said she should let me know. Somehow, we got together again. This year in march, i had a quarrel with her as she didnt want me to hold her hand in public. Then she revealed that she didnt love me. And we broke up again. I found out that actually she was still texting and loving her ex bf during our 4 years together. I confronted her and she told me that they spit becoz her mum forbids. And the guy actually is seeing another girl and they are about to get married. I felt extremely terrible. Nevertheless i still spent a few nights finishing some projects that she wanted to do with her friend as promised. She came to tell me that she have cut ties with her ex bf. But we are not together. But she always behave like she was my gf. I decided to cut ties with her again yesterday. I wanted no contact becoz i still loves her and i cant heal. She cried in front of me when i told her my decision. She called me today and ask me how i am as she knows i have a big fight with my family yesterday as my mood was really low. I am 35 she is 30. She says she never loved me. Then why she always cry when she broke up with me and why she still behaves and wants me to continue to love her? She says she will let me go. I dont understand what she meant by that. I know i should keep no contact and i know you guys would says things awful about her. But i still love her. But i know no matter how much i love her or did everything for her, she isnt going to love me back. I am probably the nicest guy and the one who had sacrificed a lot for her and she said no guys would ever do. (We didnt have sex for almost 3years since as she had a medical condition. She just did her surgery in april) I know i sounded like loser. And she text me that she does not deserve me. So i guess. It is no contact from now onwards. It is very cruel for me as i felt I had to kill my child(my love for her) with my own hands and i am not sure if i would trust anyone again.
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 This relationship has always been dysfunctional . . . on again & off again. It was a horrible merry go round & you are better off staying off the ride. Yes, it's painful when a relationship ends but you are not a loser. You sound like a nice guy. You helped her when her father died & you put up with all of her nonsense. Let her go. Take some time to heal & then find somebody who deserves all you have to offer who will be thrilled to be with you.
Author lonewalker Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 thanks.. but it is difficult... she was always understanding and gentle to me. i confide with her everything.
hoping2heal Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 thanks.. but it is difficult... she was always understanding and gentle to me. i confide with her everything. No, she wasn't. You're naive and don't know any better so you fall for a bunch of words and think you've hit a gold mine. Only in this case you found out all along she was in love with another man and lying to you about it. You call that gentle? I don't think so. She used you as her emotional comfort pillow because she couldn't have who she really wanted. That isn't gentle. It's cruel. Believe it or not, there are women out there who will actually love and appreciate you and be truly kind to you - not use you for their own benefit. 2
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