Author Darren2013 Posted August 16, 2014 Author Posted August 16, 2014 To be frank as time goes on I become more and more afraid of this lady. I think from now on I am going to avoid places and social gatherings if I know she is going to be there. There's a church function coming up in September and she is going to be there. I think I'm going to cancel my attendance. As far as the people know it won't look like I am canceling because she is there as I will come up with a very valid excuse. I've got time to come up with a convincing story.
preraph Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 It's true most women hate a lack of confidence. It would be good to get some help working on that if it's making you turn women away before you even know them.
guest569 Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Well, she hasn't actually asked you out.. not sure what the big deal is. You are making a big drama out of a simple question from a mutual friend that may not have even spoken to this woman about it. So you either forget about the conversation with the mutual friend, or pursue her. You either like her and want to be with her, or you don't. It's as simple as that and nothing that a bunch of strangers on here tell you should influence your decision. And yeah, if someone said "I'm not your type" that would infuriate me. It seems arrogant and judgmental.
EngnimaticResponse Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 I don't know who her type is. I just know that I ain't it. I don't have to know who someone's type is to know that I am not it. It is arrogant to presume that I am her type. If we are going to presume anything it is better to presume she isn't until proven otherwise. Did it occure to you that your friend was maybe attempting to play matchmaker because she knows something about this other woman that you do not? 1
OwMyEyeball Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 You sure are putting a lot of thought and effort into this. There are some serious issues with self-esteem / self-confidence eating away at you and preventing you from meeting your most basic needs - such as intimacy with a woman. You're masking deep-seated fears with thoughts of false compassion. Now you're on here looking for reassurance, but finding that most posters are voicing a reaction much different than what you had anticipated. This is understandable for someone who is so overcome by fear. Now come the rationalizations that will be couched in the notions of principles, modesty, consideration, compassion and so forth. These come around to save face - to try to maintain a semblance of the good person we all want to be. Yet buried deep beneath the justification, outside of conciousness, is a terrible fear or pain driving these thoughts. What are you so afraid of?
Author Darren2013 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 The only thing I'm going to put effort into from here on out is to avoid this woman. Until further notice I do nothing except avoid her. I have an entire month to come up with a good cover story for why I won't be attending the same church event that she will be.
mortensorchid Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Well, is that the truth? If you are not her type, then you are not their type, no question. If it's because you don't want to be with her, that's a valid reason. If someone were to tell me something like I that, quite honestly, I believe them and that's that. Disappointing to hear something like that, but ... What else is there? We are not to be together, it's over with, that's that and it's best to nip it in the bud. I think you are afraid to actually say this to her. A degree of cowardice is always expected, but life is about overcoming fears and taking risks. We all have it, it's ok to be afraid, but to let fear paralyze you and keep you from doing things both positive and negative will turn you into a coward.
Author Darren2013 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 The only way she and I will end up together is if some supernatural force from God pulls us together. I believe in miracles but that's for another thread for another forum. What makes a real miracle a real miracle is something that happens when it is statistically very unlikely. So unless some miracle is coming my way to beat the odds then it ain't going to happen between her and I.
Hopeful30 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 I would interpret it as the guy just isn't into me.
MoreCoffee Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Well, I think you'll have 100% success rate in creating as much distance you feel is called for. The only way she and I will end up together is if some supernatural force from God pulls us together. I believe in miracles but that's for another thread for another forum. What makes a real miracle a real miracle is something that happens when it is statistically very unlikely. So unless some miracle is coming my way to beat the odds then it ain't going to happen between her and I.
Author Darren2013 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 Well, is that the truth? If you are not her type, then you are not their type, no question. If it's because you don't want to be with her, that's a valid reason. If someone were to tell me something like I that, quite honestly, I believe them and that's that. Disappointing to hear something like that, but ... What else is there? We are not to be together, it's over with, that's that and it's best to nip it in the bud. I think you are afraid to actually say this to her. A degree of cowardice is always expected, but life is about overcoming fears and taking risks. We all have it, it's ok to be afraid, but to let fear paralyze you and keep you from doing things both positive and negative will turn you into a coward. I never claimed to be a courageous person so there's nothing that you are saying that is news. If I were self deceived into thinking I was courageous then that would be a different story. Okay I admit to being a coward. That's who I am. I won't pretend to be someone I am not,
Recommended Posts