Am I overreacting?

[bjrs2011]

First of all, I'm a girl. I feel like I'm being taken for granted. I'm always there whenever my girlfriend needs me, I always make time for her, I always put her over everything but she doesn't do the same. She goes out every weekend, she always has something to do, ALWAYS. I'm not asking that she stays home all the time with me but I would like that she had some time for me. I don't have a very busy social life, I just stay home most weekends, study and then wait for her to come back, it's not like she has a lot of friends, she mostly goes out w/ her sister because she doesnt have many friends. She goes out just for the sake of it, it's not like she goes out with friends, being with me 1 Saturday every couple of months is not asking for much, is it?

 

I have talked to her about it, she said she just doesn't like staying home. But what if you see the person you love is sad? Wouldn't you keep her company? I was gonna go out with my friends once (i don't see them often) and she asked me to please stay and I did because I knew she was sad. This never happens if it's the other way around, once I was very sad because of something and I asked her when was she coming back, I thought she would say soon, since she knew I was sad and she had been out for hours, she said late because she wanted to see a movie.ex

 

I have talked to her and everytime she gets upset and then apologize and says that she's gonna try to not be so selfish. Because she IS selfish. She expects me to be free and ready go skype whenever she's done doing whatever she wants to do, the rare times i go out she says she's sad but she never considers staying with me once. She expects me to drop everything whenever she's done having fun. She also doesn't keep her promises, whenever she says she's gonna be with me she ditches me for whatever little thing, for example, I skipped a class pnce bc she said she was gonna be home alone and that it could be our time, she decided she wanted to go do something else.

 

It got worse in summer. All she says everytime I talk to her is "I want go enjoy the summer", like what are you? 15? She's 24 btw. She goes out every weekend, friday, saturday, sunday. She goes to the mall every saturday for no reason, just because, when she goes somewhere else on saturday she goes there on sunday. So, yes, there's never time for me. I talked to her and she said she wants to do stuff because she can't do them all the time but that I'm always gonna be here and she can talk to me later.

 

We had an argument today. We were

talking and she said she's gonna have l more time for me once summer is over because then there's nothing to do and she's gonna have to stay home. That made me upset, am i overracting to that comment? I dont think its right. It made me feel like I'm her option for whenever she has nothing else to do. She said I'm never happy but how can I be if She's my priority but I'm never her 1st or 2nd option, she always chooses everything else over being wth me.

 

Going back to thw promises, I told her that it bothered me that she never keeps her word when shesays shes gonna be w/ me. She makes me waste my time, tells me to wait and then takes 3 hours to come back. When I talked t her about tht she said it was better if she didt promise, in case something else came up

[d0nnivain]

Even if you weren't long distance, your desire to stay home isn't going to reign her in. She likes going out. You aren't going to change that. It's part of who she is.

[bjrs2011]

I'm not asking her to stay home the whole time and I don'g want that either.

I just want her to have some time for me too, she never makes an effort, whenever she has nothing else to do she wants me to drop everything I'm doing and talk to her.

[d0nnivain]

If she never makes time for you, that's different then she goes out in weekend nights.

 

If you aren't a priority to her, why are you hanging on? What's in it for you?

[bjrs2011]

Because I love her. I just don't know how to approach this situation, we have beentoget her for a while and we have talked about our future together but this year she has had that attitude, she literally said that she wants to do other stuff because I'm always gonna be in her life. When I talk to her about it she says she's sorry but then goes and do the same thing again.

 

Last night I was going out with some friends and she was upset because she "gave up her day", to be with me. That's the problem, she was out the whole day, then she got home and she expected me to stay with her, she just assumes I'm always gonna be available when *she* wants

[d0nnivain]

Sometimes love isn't enough. She sounds fairly selfish.

[Polak]

Sometimes love isn't enough. She sounds fairly selfish.

 

Fairly is an understatement. Sounds like she has an extremely high level of concern for herself only. Not really an optimal mindset in a relationship...