signal Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Been with gf for 9 years and like any couple have had ups and downs. 5 months ago she told me she wants to meet families and get engaged. Found out from a friend she's going on holiday with another guy end of the month for a week on a beach holiday (a guy she dated when we had a break earlier this year) I am fully aware this relationship is done it's her lies that makes my mind boggle. She had dinner with my family the other night talking about weddings. A friend of mine knows who this other guy is and thinks what my gf is doing is disgusting. She said she wants to text my gf as this other guys "girlfriend" saying how he's a cheat and using her. Basically my friend wants my gf to feel how I felt by messaging her saying she's the one whose being taken for a fool. To be honest I told my friend she's being childish and to let my now ex gf do what ever she wants. But she wants to message her so I can't stop her. Thoughts?
Author signal Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 I'm not. My question was what do you think of my friend wanting to Message her as the other guys "gf" so she feels how she makes others feel 1
hurts2death Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 wow . i am sorry for this but this rl is over whatever you might try. i am just sorry. just try to rebuild you now and we ll be here for anything. take care. john 2
Author signal Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 Thanks John. I know it's over this is the last straw. 8 years down the drain. Need to move forward now 2
Zahara Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 I'm not. My question was what do you think of my friend wanting to Message her as the other guys "gf" so she feels how she makes others feel She's a cheater. Do you think she's suddenly going to have a conscience and feel bad. If she doesn't feel bad cheating on her own boyfriend, why would she feel bad about the feelings of some supposed girlfriend? 2
Author signal Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 Good point. It's probally just an attempt to make her feel a bit crap
Zahara Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Good point. It's probally just an attempt to make her feel a bit crap Nah, keep moving on. Even if she felt like crap, she'd still be pursuing the guy. 2
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Good point. It's probally just an attempt to make her feel a bit crap I understand how you feel, but it's probably not possible. Anyone who engages in this level of deception without a second thought is a Lifetime movie-level narcissist. She won't feel like crap, she'll just be mad that she's not the only one in this guy's life. Good for you for seeing the truth of an admittedly dreadful situation. Take at least a little bit of money from your wedding funds and have a kick-ss party to celebrate the enormous bullet you just dodged. 2
Author signal Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 It hurts and will take years to get over but it's happened so many times if I don't realise it now knowing she's going on holiday with another guy then I never will. Life is a funny game at times. My friend will still send her a msg but I guarantee even after she gets it she will be still on that plane with him, realised that's the kind of person she is
hurts2death Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 i know how you feel and if ti helps you will not understand how fast time passess and heart heals. just stay occupied and focused. 1
hurts2death Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 what i would suggest is this. you know since i am veteran in break up now what matters the most and stays memorable is the politeness and manners. please be polite act like a gent, this will strike her bones after months and will boost your ego big time. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Been with gf for 9 years and like any couple have had ups and downs. 5 months ago she told me she wants to meet families and get engaged. Found out from a friend she's going on holiday with another guy end of the month for a week on a beach holiday (a guy she dated when we had a break earlier this year) I am fully aware this relationship is done it's her lies that makes my mind boggle. She had dinner with my family the other night talking about weddings. A friend of mine knows who this other guy is and thinks what my gf is doing is disgusting. She said she wants to text my gf as this other guys "girlfriend" saying how he's a cheat and using her. Basically my friend wants my gf to feel how I felt by messaging her saying she's the one whose being taken for a fool. To be honest I told my friend she's being childish and to let my now ex gf do what ever she wants. But she wants to message her so I can't stop her. Thoughts? I think this will backfire and make you look bad. It's not a well-conceived idea (does this guy even have a girlfriend?) and it won't take your ex long to figure out who's behind it. I don't think it's going to have the desired effect on her.
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Do you get that she's going on a romantic beach weekend with her EX-BF? that's a big no no. While I'm not a fan of ultimatums, this would cause me to end the relationship unless you can go too. The situation in which you now find yourself is why these so called Breaks are dumb. The fracture the relationship & leave people in these murky areas. I don't care that you have been together for 9 years (you actually haven't because of the breaks), you can't get engaged to this woman if she thinks her beach trip is OK.
Art_Critic Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 She has cheated on you repeatedly and this is no different than the past times.. I think it is time you end it as she doesn't seem committed to you and since she never stopped looking for a guy to replace you, as soon as she does she will kick you to the curb... Sorry...
Author signal Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 The guy she's planning on going away with wants to marry her. 2 Months ago she told me she was looking at engament outfits for our engagment and looking at halls. I strongly believe she was lying to me and prepping for this other guy. Why would someone even do that
Author signal Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 She has cheated on you repeatedly and this is no different than the past times.. I think it is time you end it as she doesn't seem committed to you and since she never stopped looking for a guy to replace you, as soon as she does she will kick you to the curb... Sorry... She's been trying to replace me for years but never had the guts to say it's over. She keeping me as a last resort back up that's sick
hurts2death Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 signal what you must do is break up with her forever, i am really sorry if it is not what you want to hear. so do everything you do for healing and stay nc. just erase everything from her and her.
CarrieT Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 8 years down the drain. Need to move forward now For many of us who have been through too many painful break-ups, one begins to realize that relationships which do not last are not failures. I hope you will come to see that it was not eight years down the drain, but part of the learning process and that which makes up the fabric of an interesting life. Relish the good that come from the relationship. Remember the good and revel in the positive that you can take from the experience and bring it to the next stage. Ultimately, it will make you a better husband and father and person. 1
Zeurich Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 I'm not. My question was what do you think of my friend wanting to Message her as the other guys "gf" so she feels how she makes others feel Do you think it is really worth? And what are the expectation from that. What if she found out your friend did it? Then all the dirt on your face. I am been on this site not so long I feel like I am in a elementary class,, oh boy:laugh::laugh:
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