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Posted

Almost 2 years ago I cheated on my gf with a neighbor. We eventually reconciled and are now engaged. While I have managed to maintain nc with that neighbor for almost a year and a half just seeing her outside still pisses me off. Moving is not an option any thing else I can do aside from just stay the course?

Posted
Almost 2 years ago I cheated on my gf with a neighbor. We eventually reconciled and are now engaged. While I have managed to maintain nc with that neighbor for almost a year and a half just seeing her outside still pisses me off. Moving is not an option any thing else I can do aside from just stay the course?

 

I don't understand why seeing her outside pisses you off.

 

If moving isn't an option, I think your only option is to stay NC and figure out what is angering you.

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Posted

Pissed is to strong a word bother me yes.it goes back to everything that happened between the 2 of us.

Posted
Pissed is to strong a word bother me yes.it goes back to everything that happened between the 2 of us.

 

Assuming your girlfriend is dealing with this calmly, it would seem like you could too.

Posted

As a matter of fact, if this other chick is causing you to feel anything, whether it's anger or not, tells me that you indeed have a problem, but not the one you think you have.

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Posted

Why does she make you upset?

 

Is it because she reminds you of what a crappy person you can be?

 

Or is it because of something she did to you, or feelings you still have for her?

 

I would do your best to make her a total non entity, which means stop giving her space in your mind. Thoughts fuel feelings, so you have to curb the thoughts. This is difficult because she is in close proximity.

 

Moving may not be an option now, but I think you should work towards that goal. It can't be easy on your girlfriend. That part of your relationship needs to be worked through and put behind you- not in her face every day.

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Posted

The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference.

 

If you still harbor such strong feelings about this woman, it's a sign that she's taking up more of your headspace than she should (especially given your GF's forgiving nature).

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