Refreshed After Rejection

[Supernatural]

We all know the feeling. Rejection. And it never feels good, at any point of the process of searching for that one special person. Whether it be the 1st or 100th date. 1 day or 4 years later. When the bridge collapses, it's gone. But alas, we always have to pick ourselves up, and dust off.

 

"Why do we fall?"

"So we can learn to get back up."

-Batman Movies

 

Lately I've suffered a terrible - not really - rejection from a first date. And whenever something doesn't work out we always try to find ways to heal and gain perspective.

 

I created this thread because I want to know from your personal experiences, how you have healed, moved on, and grew from not getting the things we think are best for us at that due time.

I'm a believer that everything happens as it should; for a reason. The people that enter your life, the job you get, the dilemmas you're faced with. It's all part of what your journey, in this life. Your personal mission.

 

Before I get too deep, I'll share my go-to way to strengthen and get back on the horse to fight the next battle...

 

1. I write A LOT and reflect on myself deeply. Becoming more creative.

2. I watch the movie American Beauty and remember how beautiful and precious everything in life actually is. And the rejection doesn't feel like that big of a deal anymore.

 

I'm excited to hear your thoughts.

[todreaminblue]

my mum told me ...i just know no other way to do it....i always get back up...i still get hurt......some times it takes me longer to get back up..........i am used to being beaten up and knocked down.....i just have to try again......

 

wasnt meant to be is something i use....something better for me....i can do this done it before ....

 

i dance... i use music ...i write ...i pray.....i hope.....i know ill always have struggle dont know when and where but ill make it through the punches......until its my time not to make it through the punches and its going to have to be my life extinction for me not to make it..........either ill die fighting or ill live fighting through the struggles so i can get to good times...and i have had plenty of them.....

 

i truly believe ok i know.......sigh....people are going to have to physically take me out......words wont do it....hurting me breaking my heart cannot do it...people wont take me out emotionally..my heart is too strong for that....they can only break my bones to do it......never had a broken bone yet and people have tried.........had a broken heart though......many times......my heart continues to heal everytime......thats why i know why men would have to really make a mess of me to take me out i wont make it easy .....i say men ...because it wont be women who take me out physically.....

 

maybe because i have had a broken heart and because i know ill always allow someone i love who loves em back to break my heart......i know ill survive....

 

through all the tears i have cried....i have more smiles a mile wide ...for all the bruises i have been given.....they heal i keep on livin'..i love more than i despise.......i laugh more than i cry.......i open more than i close doors . for every closure i open two.......thats how i guess i make it through.....one or definitely the other.....i am always a fighter but i am also a fierce lover.....deb

Edited August 15, 2014 by todreaminblue

[JungleLover]

Do you want me to share some of my classic rejections? I will do it if it makes you feel any better. I call them "battle wounds."

[todreaminblue]

Do you want me to share some of my classic rejections? I will do it if it makes you feel any better. I call them "battle wounds."

 

share please.......deb

[Supernatural]

Do you want me to share some of my classic rejections? I will do it if it makes you feel any better. I call them "battle wounds."

 

Since the first invite wasn't enough....

 

 

 

 

Here is a personal one...

 

Dear JungleLover,

 

I hope your summer is a hot one. Weather has been great over here. So many summer memories. I even saw a crow take a crap on the sidewalk today. I had a chuckle.

 

It has been brought to my attention that you have enthralling rejections you are possibly willing to share. It is with great excitement that I invite you to share your classic stories.

 

With Gratitude and a sense of humor,

 

Supernatural

[JungleLover]

Sorry for the delay. My GF and I almost went through mutual rejection last night. Communication is the key and she is a sweet gal but an awful communicator.

 

 

Okay, a few of my random classic rejections. They are classic because they were either very humiliating situations for me or situations that went from one extreme to the next quickly and without notice.

 

1. Went on vacation to visit a good friend in another state. Met his future sister-in-law. A lot of phone calls and texting for the 2 months. Two months later, I flew back out so see her. My buddy gave us his whole house for the weekend. We had sex and she went to sleep on the couch afterward. She walked out on me the next morning and drove back home to her city about 45 minutes away. She was my drive to the airport and the airport was far away but she didn't care. This was a real punch in the gut but I was a trooper with many battle wounds by then so I picked my head up and just kept trucking.

 

2. A female friend of mine sent her best friend visiting from out of town to pick me up at my home. When I first get in the car, I said to myself "I am never going to be able to have sex with this woman." I friend zoned myself immediately. Found out she was an amateur model on the drive back to my friend's place. I wind up going to sleep on the floor after having a little bit too much to drink. She woke me up with a BJ followed by sex. I was head over heels the next morning. She cooked me breakfast and drove me to work the next day and when I saw her again two days later, I was nothing to her.

 

3. Met a woman the first time I went online for dating. We hit it off immediately. She had a great sense of humor and we teased each other and laughed all the time. The first date was very normal but the second date was a lot of fun and when I drove her home, she damn near raped me in the car and invited me into her house. What followed was some of the best sex God ever invented. I'm no smoker but felt like smoking a cigarette afterward. The next date was the same. Called her the next day, she answered the phone on the 1st ring and I have never heard someone so glad to hear from me then all of a sudden during the conversation, it was as if someone walked past her and flipped a switch on her back. All of the enthusiasm she had for me went out like air in a balloon. I have no idea why. She stopped answering my calls and I never heard from her again.

 

4. Reckless again. Hit on fine coworker. We go out to a club and have a blast. We talked on the phone and played around at work having a great time. I invited her over to my place. We get completely naked and initmate but no sex. She leaves before things get "too far." Next time I see her at work the next day, it is all fun and games for her like she is some prepubescent amusement park attendee. Still tried to stir her back into my bedroom but it wasn't happening. She laughed and giggled at me. I was just a game to her. Um, yeah... ego needed polishing after this one.

 

5. My buddy and I are having a night out on the town. We stop for gas and see two women at the gas station. We start running our mouths and convince them to dump their car and get into ours. We hang out and have a great time for the rest of the night. I really hit it off with the woman I was with. We set up a double date with them the following day. At the end of the date, my buddy drive off with his date and leave me and my date alone in his apartment. Soon we are going at it on the couch and just as I am undressing her, my buddy and his date walks through the door. Idiot gave her some panty pull up information. She was pissed. My date vicariously rejects me. I was really falling for this woman quickly like I always used to do so this one stung.

 

6. I've gotten rejected by a series of notes pushed under my door. No calls. No texts. Each reply to a date invite came via a rejection under my door. I would get up in the morning and look at my door and be like "oh, S***, not again."

 

 

7. Threw an after party at my place for most of my classmates during my post graduate years. One of my classmates what quite a bit older than the rest but very attractive. I think out of respect and intimidation, none of my other buddies or classmates even approached her except for one of my buddies and me. She wind up staying the night with me. We did every thing except have actual intercourse. I dropped her off to her car the next morning and she damn near tore my door off trying to get out of my car. She avoided me at school. She eventually went on one more date with me but when I made an advance on her she got really pissed. I thought she might kick my ass. Want to talk about awkward for the rest of the year attending classes and other parties with her present? Ego polishing needed there...

 

 

Just the tip of the iceberg my friend. I have been rejected so many times. I can really look back on all my rejections and the comedy behind many of them and laugh now. Each one of these stories had a lot of fire at one point followed by extreme coldness within a relative short period of time but the experience has really taught me how to better handle my dates. It is not all this crap you read from dating gurus. It is learning from your mistakes and rejections over many trials. Yes, some folks have the natural ability to attract and maintain but for most, it's trial and error.

[Gaeta]

Being rejected after 1 date would be refreshing to me.

 

Men always want to see me again, never met one that didn't. They're always super excited at first but it never makes it past 3-4 dates.

 

I went on a first date last night. In the middle of conversation the guy stops me and says 'my god you're a beautiful woman'. I thought to myself 'so what?', in 2-3 dates you will tell me you need time to yourself, you're not ready for a relationship, you still think about your ex, blahblahblah.

 

If I were rejected after that first date at least I would not have time to get a peak into their life and their personality, they would not have enough time to grow on me, I would not have time to learn the name of their kids, not enough time to know their story, notice the dimple in their smile, and not enough time to get that safe feeling at the sound of their voice.

 

Be happy to be rejected after that 1 date cause being rejected after 3-4 dates freakin suck.

[morbot_k]

1 date? Consider yourself lucky.

 

 

I recently went through a big rejection. What was hard wasn't loosing the romance. They were things that I didn't like that made me question whether or not we were compatible. It was losing a great friendship. That's the part that makes me sad.

 

How did I feel better and move on? Just time man. Just time.

 

It does help to ask myself how I can be a better person in the future. In this instance, I am proud of myself. Because I handled myself with a lot of class and self-respect. And it ended without drama and in a positive way. I'm so glad for that. It does make it easier. Not a whole lot easier, but every bit helps.

Edited August 15, 2014 by morbot_k

[fred123]

Being rejected after 1 date would be refreshing to me.

 

Men always want to see me again, never met one that didn't. They're always super excited at first but it never makes it past 3-4 dates.

 

I went on a first date last night. In the middle of conversation the guy stops me and says 'my god you're a beautiful woman'. I thought to myself 'so what?', in 2-3 dates you will tell me you need time to yourself, you're not ready for a relationship, you still think about your ex, blahblahblah.

 

If I were rejected after that first date at least I would not have time to get a peak into their life and their personality, they would not have enough time to grow on me, I would not have time to learn the name of their kids, not enough time to know their story, notice the dimple in their smile, and not enough time to get that safe feeling at the sound of their voice.

 

Be happy to be rejected after that 1 date cause being rejected after 3-4 dates freakin suck.

 

i agree with you! women are the same. i have no problem with rejection! i have a problem with being led on

[letsplaygofish2]

I got rejected/dumped this past Tuesday, the wounds are still fresh. I'm hurting because like the poster above said, I feel like I lost a great friendship. Sure, the romance wasn't completely there but we were great activity partners. I'll miss some of the fun things we did together. In my heart, it aches. I hate losing friends. I will miss hearing from him every day. We dated for 8 weeks, not very long but I was starting to get into a routine with him. This weekend will be trying because I won't see him. I normally go to his house near the beach and we hang out under the sun. I live near the mountains, so it's completely different. Anyway... I'm aching now.

 

Other rejections, being given a 3 day eviction notice by an ex-veteran that I lived with for 6 years. I met him 4 months before he deployed and stayed through thick and thin. I fell into a deep depression due to my abandonment issues. When I finally was ready to date, I had fun. Then I met the following guy....

 

Second to last ex was a sociopath. Blamed me for everything, moved out one day and then continued to use me because I was head over heels. That one took me 2-3 months to get out of depression.

 

I know that time will heal. Any words of support or advice would be appreciated.

[Supernatural]

Sorry for the delay. My GF and I almost went through mutual rejection last night. Communication is the key and she is a sweet gal but an awful communicator.

 

 

Okay, a few of my random classic rejections. They are classic because they were either very humiliating situations for me or situations that went from one extreme to the next quickly and without notice.

 

1. Went on vacation to visit a good friend in another state. Met his future sister-in-law. A lot of phone calls and texting for the 2 months. Two months later, I flew back out so see her. My buddy gave us his whole house for the weekend. We had sex and she went to sleep on the couch afterward. She walked out on me the next morning and drove back home to her city about 45 minutes away. She was my drive to the airport and the airport was far away but she didn't care. This was a real punch in the gut but I was a trooper with many battle wounds by then so I picked my head up and just kept trucking.

 

2. A female friend of mine sent her best friend visiting from out of town to pick me up at my home. When I first get in the car, I said to myself "I am never going to be able to have sex with this woman." I friend zoned myself immediately. Found out she was an amateur model on the drive back to my friend's place. I wind up going to sleep on the floor after having a little bit too much to drink. She woke me up with a BJ followed by sex. I was head over heels the next morning. She cooked me breakfast and drove me to work the next day and when I saw her again two days later, I was nothing to her.

 

3. Met a woman the first time I went online for dating. We hit it off immediately. She had a great sense of humor and we teased each other and laughed all the time. The first date was very normal but the second date was a lot of fun and when I drove her home, she damn near raped me in the car and invited me into her house. What followed was some of the best sex God ever invented. I'm no smoker but felt like smoking a cigarette afterward. The next date was the same. Called her the next day, she answered the phone on the 1st ring and I have never heard someone so glad to hear from me then all of a sudden during the conversation, it was as if someone walked past her and flipped a switch on her back. All of the enthusiasm she had for me went out like air in a balloon. I have no idea why. She stopped answering my calls and I never heard from her again.

 

4. Reckless again. Hit on fine coworker. We go out to a club and have a blast. We talked on the phone and played around at work having a great time. I invited her over to my place. We get completely naked and initmate but no sex. She leaves before things get "too far." Next time I see her at work the next day, it is all fun and games for her like she is some prepubescent amusement park attendee. Still tried to stir her back into my bedroom but it wasn't happening. She laughed and giggled at me. I was just a game to her. Um, yeah... ego needed polishing after this one.

 

5. My buddy and I are having a night out on the town. We stop for gas and see two women at the gas station. We start running our mouths and convince them to dump their car and get into ours. We hang out and have a great time for the rest of the night. I really hit it off with the woman I was with. We set up a double date with them the following day. At the end of the date, my buddy drive off with his date and leave me and my date alone in his apartment. Soon we are going at it on the couch and just as I am undressing her, my buddy and his date walks through the door. Idiot gave her some panty pull up information. She was pissed. My date vicariously rejects me. I was really falling for this woman quickly like I always used to do so this one stung.

 

6. I've gotten rejected by a series of notes pushed under my door. No calls. No texts. Each reply to a date invite came via a rejection under my door. I would get up in the morning and look at my door and be like "oh, S***, not again."

 

 

7. Threw an after party at my place for most of my classmates during my post graduate years. One of my classmates what quite a bit older than the rest but very attractive. I think out of respect and intimidation, none of my other buddies or classmates even approached her except for one of my buddies and me. She wind up staying the night with me. We did every thing except have actual intercourse. I dropped her off to her car the next morning and she damn near tore my door off trying to get out of my car. She avoided me at school. She eventually went on one more date with me but when I made an advance on her she got really pissed. I thought she might kick my ass. Want to talk about awkward for the rest of the year attending classes and other parties with her present? Ego polishing needed there...

 

 

Just the tip of the iceberg my friend. I have been rejected so many times. I can really look back on all my rejections and the comedy behind many of them and laugh now. Each one of these stories had a lot of fire at one point followed by extreme coldness within a relative short period of time but the experience has really taught me how to better handle my dates. It is not all this crap you read from dating gurus. It is learning from your mistakes and rejections over many trials. Yes, some folks have the natural ability to attract and maintain but for most, it's trial and error.

 

 

Those stories were awesome!

 

Are you a physically an attractive guy?

I notice that attractive males tend to get girls who go really hot and then really cold with their feelings. Like the second they remove themselves from being around the guy... They go nuts. This does happen often to me.

 

Women sure are strange....

[bromantic]

I just think about all the people in my family that are battling cancer. Then the trivial stuff rolls right off.