GTO06 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Hey guys, So how do you get most of your dates? OLD, work, bar, club, friends, ect? I've only had 6 dates so far and all of them have been from OLD and this summer. I rarely get to meet new single women my age in my day to day life, so I would like to know some of your best methods Thanks
d0nnivain Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I met most of my dates in academic settings. As an adult after a 12 year post grad relationship I met my dates at Chamber of Commerce functions; work / industry events; through OLD; at MeetUp events by being fixed up; in bars & once at a reunion. I attended a few singles dances / parties but those were worse meat-markets than regular bars & all of the guys seemed desperate. I also went to a singled group called Leashes & Lovers but my dog wasn't all that well behaved so I spent too much time focused on him & left early. Before I met DH -- in a bar at a networking event -- I had planned to go this thing where they set you up to play golf with somebody. I figured even it it wasn't a love connect a bad day on the golf course is still better than a good day at work.
Assasda Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 haha OP youre acting like youre 100 years old. I think youre 29. and If I'm correct thats the majority of the population. Anyway, what you want to do is work on approaching people you dont know, and asking for advice, approach women you dont know and ask for advice, even if you know what youre doing. Just dont be closed off in your day to day activities. I've met women at the grocery store, on the street, on public trasportation. At different functions. You just want to be an open and fun guy 2
todreaminblue Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 When you are open to dating it just happens.....can happen anywhere...the majority of dates i have had are guys that have known me for a while....i have done random dates ....online has always been a fail fro me in the sense i chicken out...i am more likely to go on a date with someone i know or who my friends know...and sometimes i trust my gut and go on a date without knowing them these dont normally work out though..in my experience when you feel open to dating it happens...add friendliness and you have a real shot........deb 1
Author GTO06 Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) When you are open to dating it just happens.....can happen anywhere...the majority of dates i have had are guys that have known me for a while....i have done random dates ....online has always been a fail fro me in the sense i chicken out...i am more likely to go on a date with someone i know or who my friends know...and sometimes i trust my gut and go on a date without knowing them these dont normally work out though..in my experience when you feel open to dating it happens...add friendliness and you have a real shot........deb Not in my experiences; dating doesn't just happen without lots and lots of effort. You're a woman though, of course it just happens for you since guys do the initiating in dating, lol. Despite living in my current location for 7 years now, I have very few friends and don't get a lot of human contact in general to tell you truth, but I'm doing the best I can to change that this year. I guess I just don't make real connections with people very easily. I've scoped out all the women I'm interested in at work and none are single. I've made it a point to hit every event and festival I could this year and so far all the women I've been interested in are already involved. It is just slow going and a lot of work, but I'm trying to have fun with it and it is getting better slowly. Edited August 14, 2014 by GTO06 2
Mike B. Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Every since I started using OLD it is hard to do it any way else. I occasionally may meet someone at the occasional party but it is mostly online for me at this point.
Supernatural Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) Hey guys, So how do you get most of your dates? OLD, work, bar, club, friends, ect? I've only had 6 dates so far and all of them have been from OLD and this summer. I rarely get to meet new single women my age in my day to day life, so I would like to know some of your best methods Thanks Online dating sucks. Pure and simple. Never liked it, and anything that has come of it has always lead to sex. Never a long term thing. EVER. It's an unfulfilled way to meet someone. I just think it's forced and inorganic. Not to mention there are more hoops to jump through. Such a screening process that may never actually lead to a date because of flakes. So much energy just for a simple date. I like approaching women in public because... 1. Helps me build confidence and shows I have some. Even if I get shot down, I learn something very valuable. 2. It is challenging. You have to be original and think on your feet. 3. The story is more enticing when you tell people how you met. 4. It separates you from most men. 5. You get a quick judge of their character, for the most part. *EDIT* I notice when I approach in person I usually always get the number. We'll say 7/10 times. Even if I get rejected... WHOAA GOOD JOB ME! I took a risk.. Nothing lost! But I learned something. Online.. I have sent probably 60 messages... mayyybe 4 responses. and weak ones at that. Like boring crap responses. maybe have a date with 2 of those responses. That says something. And I'm sure that stat is true for a lot of others. It is so easy to be over-looked online. Women get an unreal amount of messages.. But ask a woman how often she gets approached in a week... And it won't even touch that online comparison. Ask any guy... How their confidence has changed since signing up on OkCupid. I bet most of their confidence has went down. Online isn't real. It's too mental, and to me that defeats finding true connection. Connection is something you feel energetically, and online... You're disconnected. It's too cerebral. Edited August 14, 2014 by Supernatural 2
Treasa Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Get dates or get boyfriends? Because if it's the latter, I usually like a guy, express to him that I like him and intimate that want to pounce him (I'm very sexually motivated when a guy displays certain personality traits), watch him get all flustered, and then see what happens from there. Normally it turns into a relationship, but now I'm engaged, so chances are it won't happen a whole lot in the future.
todreaminblue Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Not in my experiences; dating doesn't just happen without lots and lots of effort. You're a woman though, of course it just happens for you since guys do the initiating in dating, lol. Despite living in my current location for 7 years now, I have very few friends and don't get a lot of human contact in general to tell you truth, but I'm doing the best I can to change that this year. I guess I just don't make real connections with people very easily. I've scoped out all the women I'm interested in at work and none are single. I've made it a point to hit every event and festival I could this year and so far all the women I've been interested in are already involved. It is just slow going and a lot of work, but I'm trying to have fun with it and it is getting better slowly. I am glad that you are finding it easier even if its slow going...... what hobbies do you have?
Supernatural Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Sometimes... I should add, it's really difficult to approach women in public.. Like just now, walking home -- I live in the city so there is no shortage of attractive women who can be approached. She was wearing a nice peach colored dress, attractive blonde, nice eyes, silky skin I could die on. She was walking my direction, and I hers. Looking at her I pretty much forgot my own name... Whoa, was she sexy! Like an angel who just descended. I wanted to say something but I find walking head on with someone almost impossible. Especially if there is no held eye contact. Anyone have thoughts on how to approach head on walkers?
HappyLove Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Sometimes... I should add, it's really difficult to approach women in public.. Like just now, walking home -- I live in the city so there is no shortage of attractive women who can be approached. She was wearing a nice peach colored dress, attractive blonde, nice eyes, silky skin I could die on. She was walking my direction, and I hers. Looking at her I pretty much forgot my own name... Whoa, was she sexy! Like an angel who just descended. I wanted to say something but I find walking head on with someone almost impossible. Especially if there is no held eye contact. Anyone have thoughts on how to approach head on walkers? M Just go for it! You're one of the few with the confidence. You could have pulled that off just as how you do when you meet someone sideways. Hi, I'm Super, I just had to tell you, you're beautiful. Then walk away, she may need a moment to process that. If you can make a "run in" happen again in 5 minutes or so, you'll have a great chance getting the digits of she's single.
Supernatural Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 M Just go for it! You're one of the few with the confidence. You could have pulled that off just as how you do when you meet someone sideways. Hi, I'm Super, I just had to tell you, you're beautiful. Then walk away, she may need a moment to process that. If you can make a "run in" happen again in 5 minutes or so, you'll have a great chance getting the digits of she's single. If you walk away, chances are she will just be a little shocked, turn and walk away. I think it's slim that the girl will chase you a tad. They will want to, but most likely won't. The situation would be too intense for your typical woman. It takes balls to truly grab the present moment and go with it, even if they're approached. Most people would hear that, and love it, but move on.
Author GTO06 Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 what hobbies do you have? Nothing that woman enjoy doing, discussed that in another post. I rarely find women when I'm doing things for fun, let alone single ones. It just seems there are so few decent single women in their 20's around here; like a needle in a haystack.
Author GTO06 Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 So, what kind of activities or clubs and such do think a regular guy would enjoy attending that women would find interesting? Bare in mind that I'm kind of a technical minded guy, so I like things like cars and computers and such.
mightycpa Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Anyone have thoughts on how to approach head on walkers? ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hi, excuse me. My name is mightycpa. I'm sorry to stop you on the street, but I couldn't help but notice you. I think you're very attractive, and if I didn't stop you, I'd probably never have ano opportunity to meet you, so I decided to take a chance. I'd love the opportunity to get to know you, maybe take you to lunch. Here's my card. Are you involved with someone right now? No? Great. or That doesn't surprise me a bit. Take my card anyway, keep it just in case you find yourself unattached, or maybe you might need someone to do your taxes one day. You never know. Give me a call anytime. I'd love to hear from you. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ That would work for me somewhat less than half the time, and they took the card. If they did, I'd ask for their name and write it down on the back of a second business card. I'd thank them, and tell them it was great to meet them, and that I was happy I took a chance, and repeated that they should call me. I'd offer my hand in friendship. You've got to have balls the size of boulders the first couple of times you try this. I got mine when my ex devastated me, and I figured out that no rejection would hurt anywhere near what that one did. You will face rejection, especially at first when you're not very good at it. The more you do this, the easier it gets, just like everything else. Start with girls you think you have better chances with, and work your way up the ladder. Another way is if you regularly see the same women on your way to work, or in your building, or at lunch, or after work. Basically, you just have to build a confident and smooth delivery, and you have to take care of your appearance.
Author GTO06 Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 I guess that would work if you were a salesman, lol. Sounds pretty gimmicky/cheesy to me. 1
oberkeat Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Not in my experiences; dating doesn't just happen without lots and lots of effort. You're a woman though, of course it just happens for you since guys do the initiating in dating, lol. Despite living in my current location for 7 years now, I have very few friends and don't get a lot of human contact in general to tell you truth, but I'm doing the best I can to change that this year. I guess I just don't make real connections with people very easily. I've scoped out all the women I'm interested in at work and none are single. I've made it a point to hit every event and festival I could this year and so far all the women I've been interested in are already involved. It is just slow going and a lot of work, but I'm trying to have fun with it and it is getting better slowly. This is a great post about a common problem. I'm the same age as OP. Since I became a 9to5 guy after college, meeting girls my age, in real life, who aren't already matched up has been a struggle. I'm watching this thread for ideas.
Author GTO06 Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 This is a great post about a common problem. I'm the same age as OP. Since I became a 9to5 guy after college, meeting girls my age, in real life, who aren't already matched up has been a struggle. I'm watching this thread for ideas. Yep, it's the dull 9-5 life for me as well. I'm going to repost my last question from the first page so people can see it better. Hopefully some answers to it will help us... So, what kind of activities or clubs and such do think a regular guy would enjoy attending that women would find interesting? Bare in mind that I'm kind of a technical minded guy, so I like things like cars and computers and such.
Supernatural Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hi, excuse me. My name is mightycpa. I'm sorry to stop you on the street, but I couldn't help but notice you. I think you're very attractive, and if I didn't stop you, I'd probably never have ano opportunity to meet you, so I decided to take a chance. I'd love the opportunity to get to know you, maybe take you to lunch. Here's my card. Are you involved with someone right now? No? Great. or That doesn't surprise me a bit. Take my card anyway, keep it just in case you find yourself unattached, or maybe you might need someone to do your taxes one day. You never know. Give me a call anytime. I'd love to hear from you. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ That would work for me somewhat less than half the time, and they took the card. If they did, I'd ask for their name and write it down on the back of a second business card. I'd thank them, and tell them it was great to meet them, and that I was happy I took a chance, and repeated that they should call me. I'd offer my hand in friendship. You've got to have balls the size of boulders the first couple of times you try this. I got mine when my ex devastated me, and I figured out that no rejection would hurt anywhere near what that one did. You will face rejection, especially at first when you're not very good at it. The more you do this, the easier it gets, just like everything else. Start with girls you think you have better chances with, and work your way up the ladder. Another way is if you regularly see the same women on your way to work, or in your building, or at lunch, or after work. Basically, you just have to build a confident and smooth delivery, and you have to take care of your appearance. That's A LOT of talking on a first approach. And you said 'sorry'! I don't think there is a ideal way to approach... You just do or don't... Obviously you do it confidently and with respect. You just need boulder balls for approaching anywhere cold turkey.
GravityMan Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 In recent years, thru social gatherings of various kinds. Sports clubs, informal classes, meetups, things catering to my interests, etc. Basically, almost anywhere where I can see and interact with the same group of people multiple times over a period of time. This makes it easier for interpersonal connections to form and grow at a more natural pace. I usually just talk to her for a period of time and if that goes well and it seems she's interested then I ask her out (or she asks me out). And no, neither I nor the women had to put forth "lots and lots of effort". While there is some truth to the whole "mating dance" thing...having a casual conversation with some humor and a bit of flirting mixed in, followed by asking her out, doesn't require a great deal of effort. It's well...natural for lots of people. Roadblocks tend to be all inside your head due to nervousness, trying to people-please, or some other issue. Also, if you're considered likable in the group...someone in it may eventually introduce you to his or her friends outside the group, some of which may be single. That hasn't happened to me yet but I know it's occurred to others.
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