The never ending anger stage

[JBlackstone]

I've pretty much have, even if briefly, gone through every phase of the grieving process, except probably total acceptance. The stage I've lingered in the most has been anger. I think this might be because I wanted the relationship to end. Part of me is angry at myself for letting a toxic relationship go on for so long and part of me is angry at him for treating me poorly, though he truly did the best he could, it just wasn't enough.

 

Yesterday I posted on here after I found out he was visiting a girl I was suspicious of in our relationship. This made me feel sick and it still does. So now I'm angry and nauseated! Lol

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with this? I really just want to put this relationship behind me. I'm starting to think some shred of me is hoping to hear from him just to know I still matter to him even though I don't want him. It's twisted I know, but that was our whole relationship practically, me trying to get him to care more. I know whatever is going on with this new girl is superficial but it's odd to think of him being with another girl. Bleh!

[True Gent]

I can relate to the anger phase so much!

 

Honestly I had anger eating away at me inside, I was becoming irritable in general just doing daily chores. I was dreaming of her and him together etc...

 

There isn't a quick fix to realise it, breakup anger is so powerful that it can consume you. I did my best to distract my mind with other things in my life, work, hobbies and the biggest mental help of all for me was exercise.

 

You've just got to ride it out, but trying to not consciously think about it so much and getting involved with everything else you can in your life really is the best you can do.

 

You've got to adopt a "screw them" attitude and really mean it. Even cursing your ex out loud to yourself gives you some relief.

[JBlackstone]

Thanks for the reply and the tip. Interestingly, cursing him out aloud does help. It even made me giggle!

[siochana]

I havent got an answer for this one either.

 

I'm strict NC but was in an abusive relationship.

 

I have revenge fantasies all the time and its draining.

 

I havent met anyone else since and wonder would that help.

 

I admit it: the thought of her being happy with someone else or even on her own make me sick while i continue ( in a way that feels like i have no say in the matter) to suffer.

 

Time, that my only ally.

[DorothyGale]

I've pretty much have, even if briefly, gone through every phase of the grieving process, except probably total acceptance. The stage I've lingered in the most has been anger. I think this might be because I wanted the relationship to end. Part of me is angry at myself for letting a toxic relationship go on for so long and part of me is angry at him for treating me poorly, though he truly did the best he could, it just wasn't enough.

 

Yesterday I posted on here after I found out he was visiting a girl I was suspicious of in our relationship. This made me feel sick and it still does. So now I'm angry and nauseated! Lol

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with this? I really just want to put this relationship behind me. I'm starting to think some shred of me is hoping to hear from him just to know I still matter to him even though I don't want him. It's twisted I know, but that was our whole relationship practically, me trying to get him to care more. I know whatever is going on with this new girl is superficial but it's odd to think of him being with another girl. Bleh!

 

Jealousy is natural. You're wondering why he likes her and not you. I don't know the background to your story but I do know what rejection feels like. It sucks. The best thing you can do for yourself is to accept every single feeling that comes up. If you start feeling sorry for yourself, accept it, angry at him, her, yourself - accept. Now is not the time for pride or denial. You are going through something everyone goes through. It isn't unique but it's freakin painful. I get it.