littleplanet Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Crazy, paranoid society. Sad. It especially irks me for some reason because I AM law enforcement. I have access to everyone's information and records and still choose not to INVADE PEOPLES PRIVACY. Sad society. I find this comment profoundly eloquent. Trust.........is getting scarce as hen's teeth, these days. The straight smile, the firm handshake, taken at your word. I salute you!
Strength in Healing Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I find this comment profoundly eloquent. Trust.........is getting scarce as hen's teeth, these days. The straight smile, the firm handshake, taken at your word. I salute you! I salute you back my friend. lol
preraph Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 A very smart thing to do that is easy and free is to check whatever state the guy is in's sex offender registry. I don't know if all states have them, but a lot do. Of course, realize that because someone isn't on there doesn't mean they're not one because so many sex offenses go unreported or unsolved. But it's a place to start. Deep google searches under their correct and full legal name (not always easy to get online as so many people conceal it) can turn up DUIs and things like that as well. Before meeting, ask them to scan in their driver's license and give that to someone you know before meeting them and use that info to check them. If it scares them off, it's not like you asked them for their social security card or anything. Licenses are public information, so if they give you privacy excuses, tell them that but then don't meet them. Early internet days I knew a guy from a fan board who wanted to come see me. I did my best background check before the days of better info were available and kept seeing his name registered as having been in prison. I told him so. We went back and forth and he was always very secretive. But after a few other people from the board had met him, I met him and he was okay, but he was hiding something because he wouldn't even let a restaurant leave the table with his credit card to take it and run it in the back, insisted they do it at the table. I think rather than being a sex offender, he was probably hiding income from his exwife who was supposed to be getting child support. Not a great catch either.
ascendotum Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 If a women online wanted me to send her a scan of my drivers license I'd tell her to get nicked,so I guess we would filter each other out. So say a seach turns up a DUI from back in 1999 does that mean he will be a bad bf?
carhill Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Do you run a background check on someone that you are interested in meeting when you do online dating to make sure they do not have a criminal record? Nope, never have. Only background checks I run are on tenants and that's because they're living in my houses. Financial responsibility and criminal background become important in those circumstances. A stranger online whom I might never even meet, unimportant.
Eivuwan Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Dating is not employment. Treating it as such will lead to the most unromantic dates ever. Would you do background checks on friends of friends or other people you meet in real life? People from OLD are just as likely to be bad or good as everyone else. OLD is a very normal thing to do now. It's not as if only a niche portion of the population does it. Also, paranoia is unattractive. You will likely put off the average woman by doing background checks on her. You said that you would date someone who feels the same way, but I suspect that a relationship made up of two people with serious trust issues would not work. 1
Lipitor11 Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Yes, of course. I google their OLD username, and google image their profile pictures-and those pictures pulls up if they used it on some other site or whatever. Also if I can get a last name-I try to find them on facebook and I've had success with finding their profiles on LinkedIn-showing their job history and where they went to school to see if they are telling the truth. And just for kicks I browse through their friends list on FB to see what type of people they are friends with.
FitChick Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 I google their OLD username, and google image their profile pictures-and those pictures pulls up if they used it on some other site or whatever. Also if I can get a last name-I try to find them on facebook and I've had success with finding their profiles on LinkedIn-showing their job history and where they went to school to see if they are telling the truth. And just for kicks I browse through their friends list on FB to see what type of people they are friends with. That's why I am on none of those sites. Nothing but trouble. I never use the same OLD name twice and I always delete my photos. I don't need another stalker, thank you. 1
truth_seeker Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Nothing wrong with checking up on someone - lots of liars out there. 1
longjohn Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 I tend to trust my gut initially but also Google the person's name, Google their friends (if known) their siblings etc to try and build a picture of the person. I've yet to come into contact with anyone criminal. I tend to become more suspicious when I find nothing on the person, not even a facebook account or linkedin. However, some people respect their privacy. In the end sometimes I have to go with my gut and throw some trust out there. I might get burned but what's life without some measure of risk?
truth_seeker Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 I tend to become more suspicious when I find nothing on the person, not even a facebook account or linkedin. However, some people respect their privacy. Facebook is a two-way street. I've met people who had Facebook pages where they came off as nice, friendly, had lots of friends and came from a good family. Yet, getting to know them IRL it was like their FB page was a scam. Their FB page was a way for them to create this perfect persona. Those who don't have any social media... I can respect their privacy, but I think it's an age thing. Those who are 40s and older, I can understand why they don't want it. If you're between 18-35 and don't do any social media, I would be skeptical. Why hide yourself? I know I'm assuming, but younger people not on social media at all, I would think something is off. 1
HappyLove Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Funny how our parents and grandparents managed to have long lasting prosperous relationships without doing all this crap. 3
Eivuwan Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Facebook is a two-way street. I've met people who had Facebook pages where they came off as nice, friendly, had lots of friends and came from a good family. Yet, getting to know them IRL it was like their FB page was a scam. Their FB page was a way for them to create this perfect persona. Those who don't have any social media... I can respect their privacy, but I think it's an age thing. Those who are 40s and older, I can understand why they don't want it. If you're between 18-35 and don't do any social media, I would be skeptical. Why hide yourself? I know I'm assuming, but younger people not on social media at all, I would think something is off. Eh, some people just like their privacy you know. Especially for people in certain professions, privacy is important. I have a fb, but you can't find it by googling my name.
Author Darren2013 Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 Here's the thing though. If people with a criminal record know there's a good chance that their love interest is going to check on them then that might give them the incentive they need to be honest and upfront when they first meet their love interest. I mean don't you want to know right away if a potential date has a criminal record? It would be worse for them to lie by omission about it than to volunteer that information right? While having a criminal record is a deal-breaker for many lying by omission is even worse. If people don't do these checks then they might think they can get away with hiding that part of their past.
Eivuwan Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Here's the thing though. If people with a criminal record know there's a good chance that their love interest is going to check on them then that might give them the incentive they need to be honest and upfront when they first meet their love interest. I mean don't you want to know right away if a potential date has a criminal record? It would be worse for them to lie by omission about it than to volunteer that information right? While having a criminal record is a deal-breaker for many lying by omission is even worse. If people don't do these checks then they might think they can get away with hiding that part of their past. You must live in a very dangerous neighborhood to be so worried about something like this.
truth_seeker Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 I have a fb, but you can't find it by googling my name. Well, that's different. Mine is set the same way. You have to be logged in to find me. I'm saying no social media at all - FB, linkedin... that would make me wonder why the person is invisible.
longjohn Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Eh, some people just like their privacy you know. Especially for people in certain professions, privacy is important. I have a fb, but you can't find it by googling my name. That's funny you say that. I agree privacy is critical and I do like mine. You won't find my FB either via Google, in part because of where I work and a stalking ex (who I'm sure has given up by now). The only way to find me is to have FB and search for me by name or phone number (unlisted) or I find the person I'm looking for.
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