Eternal Sunshine Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 There is this doctor I work with that I find really attractive. He is in his late 30s and doesn't have a ring or ever mentions a partner. I just feel a little around him. However, I want to nip this in the bud if he is not single. There is this super gossipy woman that knows him well but I know that if I ask her, the whole institute will know that I am interested. Ideally I would want to know without anyone knowing that I am interested. BTW he doesn't have a FB page or social media presence from which I can find out. Ideas?
d0nnivain Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Say something general to the gossipy women like " I was wondering if I'm the only single one around here. I know [fill in woman's name] is single. Anybody else?" Then you can ask about random other people, 3-4, mixing the doctor in Q in if she doesn't specify him. Since you work with him you could also try looking on his desk for photos.
Crila16 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 If you have his name and age, and know what town he lives in, you can try Intelius.com. It list the person's name, age, everywhere he's lived in the past, and will also include family members and spouses names. You don't have to sign up for it, it's just basic info that it gives to everyone.
Imported Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Just go and ask him. "Hey, are you single, married or already with someone?" "Because I have a very attractive friend that is interested in you." "He saw you yesterday and bugged me to find out more about you. His name is Bruce" I like this approach. Two birds, one stone. You will be assured of his sexual orientation and his availability. 5
Supernatural Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 I would start a conversation with him before a weekend, small talk, but talk like you would a friend -- no pressure and really casual... then somewhere in it be like.... "Me and my girlfriend are going on a day trip Saturday... Do you and your wife/girlfriend ever get out of the city/town?" Then if he is taken he will be like "Ya we get out on the boat every now and again!" And if he's single... He will chuckle and be like "I don't have a wife/girlfriend. But ya me and my friends go fishing up at Cactus Lake" Or whatever... Go straight to the source to find answers... The last thing you want is co-workers gossiping or knowing information they don't need to know. It's a pretty low-key way of finding out... And if he is single and senses you are searching for the answer, it could build some sexual tension. 1
Supernatural Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Just go and ask him. "Hey, are you single, married or already with someone?" "Because I have a very attractive friend that is interested in you." "He saw you yesterday and bugged me to find out more about you. His name is Bruce" I like this approach. Two birds, one stone. You will be assured of his sexual orientation and his availability. This is Oooookay.... But it could lead to potential awkwardness. And it makes her look like a middle person; slightly gossipy. Just not independent and attractive. Which she doesn't want to be. Because If he is single and straight... Then eventually she will make a move, they could go out, and he will eventually know there is no gay guy named Bruce, or he will be like this woman and her friends are all over me... Weird... The best ways of finding out information, are ways that the person doesn't even know they're being questioned. You have to maneuver like a python... Slowly circle... be patient... and then when the right moment comes... Squuuueeeeezzzeee... Doing the gay guy thing... It's really head on and could put someone off. It's so out of the blue. When I read that it felt like holding a loaded gun.
TXGuy Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Just go and ask him. "Hey, are you single, married or already with someone?" "Because I have a very attractive friend that is interested in you." "He saw you yesterday and bugged me to find out more about you. His name is Bruce" I like this approach. Two birds, one stone. You will be assured of his sexual orientation and his availability. I disagree with this suggestion. I know society is pretty progressive at this point, but telling a guy you think he is gay is probably not the best way to try to start a relationship. It might work (doubtful), but it is much more likely that he will negatively associate you falsely 'outing' him. I'm not sure, but it could get you in trouble as well. 1
jay1983 Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Just fu*king ask him. "hey are you single?" No games or any of that sh*t. 3
Candy_Pants Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Just fu*king ask him. "hey are you single?" No games or any of that sh*t. Be direct and cut the crap?! Heavens no! 4
Supernatural Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Just fu*king ask him. "hey are you single?" No games or any of that sh*t. She works with him... In all other situations this would be ideal. But... This is at work. Say you two even did go on a date... Would you want to date someone you see everyday? Dating co-workers is always a bad idea in my opinion.
Imported Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Leave a post-it on his computer screen with these instructions. Please answer these questions. After answering these questions, go to the break room and attach this post-it to the door of the microwave and leave. Do not look back! Are you single? [ ] Yes [ ] No Do you like cats? [ ] Yes [ ] No World peace? [ ] For it! [ ] Against it! 2
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