DorothyGale Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I hate talking about this stuff because I always feel like I'm being a spoiled brat. I have no real reason to feel sad my life is fine. I'm on the proper meds and I can't increase the dosage. Already been thru therapy and it helped. I don't drink, I eat right (mostly) and I get exercise but I'm still feeling that low-grade sadness. I'm not sure anyone here can help me but I just wanted to post my feelings.
Philosoraptor Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 So what are you doing to make yourself happy? What joys are you finding in your life?
Author DorothyGale Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 So what are you doing to make yourself happy? What joys are you finding in your life? I'm working hard for happiness. I wouldn't say I'm a Buddhist but I do listen to the Dharma talks. I dance, talk to my close friend, watch TV with my husband and take care of my animals. It seems no matter how I try my brain wants to go back to being sad. I've come to the point where I try not to think about anything, not the past not the future. Nothing. But always wind up thinking of something. (Thank you for asking.)
Philosoraptor Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Personally I've found that when feeling low the best thing I could do to make myself happy was to do something to help others. Have you considered any volunteer opportunities?
Author DorothyGale Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Personally I've found that when feeling low the best thing I could do to make myself happy was to do something to help others. Have you considered any volunteer opportunities? I use to do volunteer work and it does help. I might do it again. But to tell you the truth even when I did volunteer work I could still feel sad. My depression is very annoying. It's under control. I know why it was triggered and now that it's here I'm trying to handle it so it doesn't get the best of me. I think sometimes I expect too much from life and don't spend enough time appreciating what I have. If I keep looking at the bad stuff I'm going to get worse so I try to redirect my attention to all the positives in my life. It's a pretty good life. It sort of makes me angry that I can't just be happy.
Reels Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Depression Test, Am I Depressed? Psych Central - Depression Screening Test Tell how much you scored.
Itspointless Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 We re constantly told that we should be happy. People these days are a bit indoctrinated thinking that they always should be happy, it is a strong thought. So start with not being so critical to yourself. Try not to dwell in depressive thoughts though. That is hard, I never used medication for it, but I know the quest. Of-course it is important to learn to be grateful with the things that go well. Happy moments are powerful presents we sometimes get that can fuel us when we have to face all the other things that have a place in life. Remember that happiness can be found in small things, like a beautiful sunset or the smile of your husband. Perhaps you can meditate on powerful images for you. And try to keep in mind that medication does not only cuts away the lows, it also numbs the highs. Next to this I do get the feeling that you miss something that can make your life meaningful. Search for something that gives you energy whatever that may be: a pet, a study, helping people, climbing mountains, painting, etc.
Author DorothyGale Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Depression Test, Am I Depressed? Psych Central - Depression Screening Test Tell how much you scored. Depression Screening Test:29 Mild to moderate depression
Author DorothyGale Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 We re constantly told that we should be happy. People these days are a bit indoctrinated thinking that they always should be happy, it is a strong thought. So start with not being so critical to yourself. Try not to dwell in depressive thoughts though. That is hard, I never used medication for it, but I know the quest. Of-course it is important to learn to be grateful with the things that go well. Happy moments are powerful presents we sometimes get that can fuel us when we have to face all the other things that have a place in life. Remember that happiness can be found in small things, like a beautiful sunset or the smile of your husband. Perhaps you can meditate on powerful images for you. And try to keep in mind that medication does not only cuts away the lows, it also numbs the highs. Next to this I do get the feeling that you miss something that can make your life meaningful. Search for something that gives you energy whatever that may be: a pet, a study, helping people, climbing mountains, painting, etc. Thank you for your suggestions. I do tend to spend a little too much time alone doing household chores. Sometimes being at home is wonderful but other times it gets a bit too lonely. I'm OK with casual socialization in real life. I can go to the Library or shopping and intact fine. I get uncomfortable getting too friendly with anyone because I have a healthy/unhealthy mistrust of others so I'm sort of a female hermit. Sometimes it works out well because I have time to get all my housework done and when my husband comes home he's happy the house looks good. The pets are fed and I have something for him for dinner. I did work outside the home for a while but a number of things always got in the way and we are trying to live on one salary because me working seems too stressful for both of us. I need to get out more but I'm scared to get out more. LOL..I sound insane but I'm not that bad.
chados Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Stop caring about what others think. Do what makes you happy. Money , work etc isn't always the way to feel happy. Have some fun.
Author DorothyGale Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Stop caring about what others think. Do what makes you happy. Money , work etc isn't always the way to feel happy. Have some fun. I do care what others think but I don't know that that is the source of the problem.
chados Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I do care what others think but I don't know that that is the source of the problem. what i mean is to not be afraid of being around your girlfriends. drama always occurs with girls. as long as youre not rude it really doesnt matter.
Itspointless Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Apparently you have old integrated patterns within you whereby you expect people to mistreat you and on the other hand that they probably think that you are worthless. You are not. Your husband, close friend, pets and home are as I read your safe-haven. You are not insane, there is nothing wrong with wanting a small circle of friends and doing many things at home. But do not let fear rule your life.
sickoflove11 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Well I can relate completely. I have many good things in life but am so sad. I just took those tests and scored into the major depression categories. It really puts things into perspective because I am beginning to think those things I feel are normal. I find when I am working or out doing things with people I don't know, I can fake being happy and I do feel happier. When I am around people I am comfortable with I get back into my sad unmotivated self. Maybe you could try to change your medication? I just started on one and I know there are many kinds that don't work for everyone.
Author DorothyGale Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 what i mean is to not be afraid of being around your girlfriends. drama always occurs with girls. as long as youre not rude it really doesnt matter. I know what you mean. The drama is pretty low with my girlfriends but usually they are too busy to talk. I'm only really close with one girl now who seems to only call me when SHE'S depressed. But I take what I can get.
chados Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I know what you mean. The drama is pretty low with my girlfriends but usually they are too busy to talk. I'm only really close with one girl now who seems to only call me when SHE'S depressed. But I take what I can get. Let me guess. She's having boy problems? And when it's convenient she calls you? It's common that people do this. It's not that they don't like you it's just that they have a time in their life when they want something else or something new. But she'll most likely turn around. At least you can be proud that you're there for her.
Itspointless Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Let me guess. She's having boy problems? And when it's convenient she calls you? It's common that people do this. It's not that they don't like you it's just that they have a time in their life when they want something else or something new. But she'll most likely turn around. At least you can be proud that you're there for her. Is it, or is she experiencing something I was/am familiar with? In highschool their was a girl I was acquainted with telling me more than she told her girlfriends. I had strangers telling me their life-story on street while I was passing by: like I had a sign on my head. Sometimes we are very good in showing other people what we most need but do not get. I always listened. You do not need to always serve.
chados Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Is it, or is she experiencing something I was/am familiar with? In highschool their was a girl I was acquainted with telling me more than she told her girlfriends. I had strangers telling me their life-story on street while I was passing by: like I had a sign on my head. Sometimes we are very good in showing other people what we most need but do not get. I always listened. You do not need to always serve. Only guessing here. Yes it is. Or emotional problems in general. Some people are just easier talking too. I mean she might talk to her mom but she might not partying with her if you understand were in coming from. I've seen this more then once. Also if you have a boyfriend it she can get jealous or just bored not being able to have you for herself. Could be why she's calling but not visiting
Itspointless Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Only guessing here. Yes it is. Or emotional problems in general. Some people are just easier talking too. I mean she might talk to her mom but she might not partying with her if you understand were in coming from. Yeah, well lets hope DorothyGale recognizes one of the things we have written down
Author DorothyGale Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Apparently you have old integrated patterns within you whereby you expect people to mistreat you and on the other hand that they probably think that you are worthless. You are not. Your husband, close friend, pets and home are as I read your safe-haven. You are not insane, there is nothing wrong with wanting a small circle of friends and doing many things at home. But do not let fear rule your life. You summed up the situation pretty well. I do let fear rule my life and I'm trying to change. But honestly, I find the world to be a pretty scary place.
Author DorothyGale Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Let me guess. She's having boy problems? And when it's convenient she calls you? It's common that people do this. It's not that they don't like you it's just that they have a time in their life when they want something else or something new. But she'll most likely turn around. At least you can be proud that you're there for her. I don't understand why people only want to talk when they have problems. I'd like my friends to call me just to talk about nothing in particular.
Author DorothyGale Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Yeah, well lets hope DorothyGale recognizes one of the things we have written down I take the suggestions here very seriously. One of the reasons I post on forums is out of plain loneliness. It's nice when people who have nothing to gain give their time to help me out. There are times when I've posted in tears from what is going on in my life. I'm not that bad right now. I'm lacking in social stimulation so I type online instead of looking to RL. Because online is a lot easier to control and rejection seems less hurtful.
chados Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 I don't understand why people only want to talk when they have problems. I'd like my friends to call me just to talk about nothing in particular. yeah thats woman especially. they tend to get more attached on a more mental stage. woman normally have much harder to stay friends then guy. they sometimes feel sad for what their friends have while guys are more, can you hook me up with her friend?. i feel like we want to hang with their friends and their girlfriends cause its fun to have girls around. woman cheat because a guy hurt them or because he doest care about her, while guys cheat because they feel attraction to someone else. woman fight emotionally and guys get physical. of course this isnt every case but its common.
Itspointless Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 You summed up the situation pretty well. I do let fear rule my life and I'm trying to change. But honestly, I find the world to be a pretty scary place. I am usually not a big fan of selfhelp books but a book called 'reinventing your life' by psychologists Young and Klosko might give you more understanding where your fears stem from. It describes pretty common traps that people use in their lives. I really like the book as it helped me see things in a really clear way. I don't understand why people only want to talk when they have problems. I'd like my friends to call me just to talk about nothing in particular. Have you ever mentioned this to them, or is that too scary? I do not dare to say in your situation, but sometimes our friends are not really friends as they only come when they need something. See for example this article: When Should You Give Up on a Friendship? and How to Decide if Your Friend is a True Friend: 12 Steps I take the suggestions here very seriously. One of the reasons I post on forums is out of plain loneliness. It's nice when people who have nothing to gain give their time to help me out. There are times when I've posted in tears from what is going on in my life. I'm not that bad right now. I'm lacking in social stimulation so I type online instead of looking to RL. Because online is a lot easier to control and rejection seems less hurtful. Rejection is hurtful but I think you are to critical to yourself I am guessing you could just use some more confidence. Forums like these are great when you feel lonely. People like to help you so do post!
Author DorothyGale Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 I am usually not a big fan of selfhelp books but a book called 'reinventing your life' by psychologists Young and Klosko might give you more understanding where your fears stem from. It describes pretty common traps that people use in their lives. I really like the book as it helped me see things in a really clear way. Have you ever mentioned this to them, or is that too scary? I do not dare to say in your situation, but sometimes our friends are not really friends as they only come when they need something. See for example this article: When Should You Give Up on a Friendship? and How to Decide if Your Friend is a True Friend: 12 Steps Rejection is hurtful but I think you are to critical to yourself I am guessing you could just use some more confidence. Forums like these are great when you feel lonely. People like to help you so do post! My friends (which are two girls who I've been friends with forever) are nice women and they do care about me. I don't doubt that. But they get wrapped up in their own lives and don't keep up the friendship with me consistently. They, like me, get depressed which is probably what makes us connect. So you have three women with mental issues trying to stay friends. I'm not saying they should come over and stay with me for hours but I don't understand why they can't have a nice conversation on the phone at least once a week. Even if the phone call is only 15 minutes it would help. I'm going to take a look at that book you suggested today.
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