tankie Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) I'm on here because my ex recently broke up with me on friday 5 days ago, She told me she needed to find her self, she said she doesn't love me the way she should. Since our break up I have gone the route of implementing a non contact policy. I have a lot of pride and it actually easy for me to do this but I love her also. she did initiate contact with me once after the break up. conversation as follows Her: How are you? Me: I'm doing better today, How are You? Her:I'm okay. I called in to work and spend most of the day in bed Me : My guess is a long girls night out last night Her :No, they left me by 10 i've just been down Me : i don't know what you want me to say Her : goodnight (her good night message was sent like at four in the mourning 4 hours after her last message) I ignored the good night because I was sleeping and didn't see it until the mourning anyways I just wanna know since she reached out should i drop my pride, or should i maintain my no-contact so i can work on myself and so i can respect her wishes to find her self Edited August 14, 2014 by tankie
Omei Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 She left you, that's what we call a breadcrumb until she says "I want you back" she has still dumbed you, left the relationship. Remain no contact don't let her keep you in her loop.
josephrm Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I think it depends on the "break up", was it a serious break up or was it more of a "break". Breaks are healthy in relationships. People need to seperate from there partner and have some time away. Too much time together to the point where the other doesn't have a life is not good. I would say if you know for a fact nothing went on during those 5 days with another party and you want to be in this relationship it would be worth talking to her about it. Get to understanding how she's feeling and see if it's something as simple as "I just needed some time away" or serious risks to the relationship. Then make up your mind. Thats just me though. If you love someone don't let something simple ruin what you have. You don't want to regret giving up so easily on something that just needed some communication.
Author tankie Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 I think it depends on the "break up", was it a serious break up or was it more of a "break". Breaks are healthy in relationships. People need to seperate from there partner and have some time away. Too much time together to the point where the other doesn't have a life is not good. I would say if you know for a fact nothing went on during those 5 days with another party and you want to be in this relationship it would be worth talking to her about it. Get to understanding how she's feeling and see if it's something as simple as "I just needed some time away" or serious risks to the relationship. Then make up your mind. Thats just me though. If you love someone don't let something simple ruin what you have. You don't want to regret giving up so easily on something that just needed some communication. It seemed serious in my eyes, she packed my stuff when i met with her. I asked if there was someone else and she said no. We only spent one day a week together that's all we could do for the past 3 months of the relationship
Pendragon Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I'm on here because my ex recently broke up with me on friday 5 days ago, She told me she needed to find her self, she said she doesn't love me the way she should. Since our break up I have gone the route of implementing a non contact policy. I have a lot of pride and it actually easy for me to do this but I love her also. she did initiate contact with me once after the break up. conversation as follows Her: How are you? The "conversation" should have ended here. Breaks (temporary splits) are not healthy for a relationship. Neediness, co-dependency, etc. are all unattractive traits yes, but breaks put in risk of losing trust/their partner during the time. They're basically a soft version of a break-up. To answer your question though, you should continue with NC. Block her so that no contact is possible. Since you just had contact, you could tell her that no contact will be the best for the both of you and leave it at that but silence also gets the same message across.
mightycpa Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Her: How are you? You: Horny! Have any friends you can hook me up with? 1
BC1980 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I mean, she obviously broke up with you, so you need to go NC. Actually, responding to her contact is not keeping NC. Even if she initiates, you ignore.
d0nnivain Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 She feels guilty for breaking up with you. She doesn't like being the source of your pain. She is also in pain because she didn't realize how much the change effected her life. That does not mean she wants you back. If you want to reconcile you have to put that out there. Say something like do you want to get back together? If she says anything other than a resounding yes you need to go NC to preserve your own dignity & to heal.
Chi townD Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 It seemed serious in my eyes, she packed my stuff when i met with her. I asked if there was someone else and she said no. We only spent one day a week together that's all we could do for the past 3 months of the relationship Uh huh....yeah....that's a lie. Here, let me break it down to you. "I need to find myself" Translation! "I need to find myself in this other dude's bed." I mean, I need to find myself is SOOOO stupid! You should have told her to stand in front of a mirror. "Holy SH*T!! There you are! Found you!" She doesn't love you the way she should. That's another way of saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you". 9 times out of 10, if you hear the "ILYBINILWY" speech, she's cheating on you. And if you find out about this other dude. All you're going to get is more lies. Here's some top ten examples! "He's just a friend helping me through a very difficult time in my life." Uh huh....he's good enough to "help you through the tough times", but I wasn't gotcha! "He's not the reason we broke up!" No...he's EXACTLY the reason why we broke up! "Nothing happened while we were together" Yeah, you just needed me out of the way to have something happen AFTER you got rid of me. The reason she contacted you was a breadcrumb. She knows she's doing you wrong and the guilt was getting to her. The one thing about a lot of girls is they can't stand the fact that there might be someone on this planet that hates them or doesn't think that they are a good person. So, she contacted you to see where your head is at. Didn't you notice that as soon as she figured out that you are communicating with her and you seemed to be okay in your responses, she cut the texting short? She got her answer, you seemed to be doing fine and that eased her guilt. So, she went back to staying in bed all day (question is with who) and she's now fine. Go NC on her. Ignore EVERYTHING! Block her on Facebook! It's time to move on, dude. She made the choice. She chose to have you out of her life. You give her EXACTLY that.
Chi townD Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Her: How are you? You: Horny! Have any friends you can hook me up with? LMAO!!!! I literally choked on my coke when I read that!!!!!
Author tankie Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Uh huh....yeah....that's a lie. Here, let me break it down to you. "I need to find myself" Translation! "I need to find myself in this other dude's bed." I mean, I need to find myself is SOOOO stupid! You should have told her to stand in front of a mirror. "Holy SH*T!! There you are! Found you!" She doesn't love you the way she should. That's another way of saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you". 9 times out of 10, if you hear the "ILYBINILWY" speech, she's cheating on you. And if you find out about this other dude. All you're going to get is more lies. Here's some top ten examples! "He's just a friend helping me through a very difficult time in my life." Uh huh....he's good enough to "help you through the tough times", but I wasn't gotcha! "He's not the reason we broke up!" No...he's EXACTLY the reason why we broke up! "Nothing happened while we were together" Yeah, you just needed me out of the way to have something happen AFTER you got rid of me. The reason she contacted you was a breadcrumb. She knows she's doing you wrong and the guilt was getting to her. The one thing about a lot of girls is they can't stand the fact that there might be someone on this planet that hates them or doesn't think that they are a good person. So, she contacted you to see where your head is at. Didn't you notice that as soon as she figured out that you are communicating with her and you seemed to be okay in your responses, she cut the texting short? She got her answer, you seemed to be doing fine and that eased her guilt. So, she went back to staying in bed all day (question is with who) and she's now fine. Go NC on her. Ignore EVERYTHING! Block her on Facebook! It's time to move on, dude. She made the choice. She chose to have you out of her life. You give her EXACTLY that. This one helps alot, you're right i haven't heard a word from her since that small text conversation. and even though she said she was not seeing anyone else i agree with the statement. She did. thanks for this post
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