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This guy accused me that I was "obsessive, possessive and neurotic." Was I really?

Lipitor11

By Lipitor11
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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

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This happened to me awhile back, so I guess want to know what people think of this and if I was really "crazy." Anyway, this guy that I went to high school with contacted me on myspace 10 years later and told me that he "always wanted to talk to me back then, but was too shy." We exchanged numbers, we met up for dinner, then we saw each other again the following week, and we hooked up. He was leaving to go overseas b/c of his military job, and he said he wasn't sure how long he'll be gone for. He told me that I could visit him, so when he left, we were keeping in touch on facebook, we said that we missed each other, etc, etc. I sent him a message like every other week, and he wouldn't respond. So, I would email him and send him a message on myspace in addition. One day, I decided to post a funny message on his fb page, "Where's your woman?" As a joke, and he immediately deleted me. I was upset. I asked him why, and he said that I was being "obsessive, possessive and neurotic." He told me that the "where's your woman post" was the straw the broke the camels back." He said that we "never discussed a relationship," which was true, but he made me believe there was a relationship, after all he told me I could visit him overseas. Two months went by and I saw that he got MARRIED! I was shocked. He must have gotten back together with some ex-friend that he met while he was in the military or something. He told me to leave him alone. I still don't understand what happened. Was I really being "crazy" to message him all the time? I've read stories that people would do that when someone moves away and the keep in touch 24/7. I wanted it to be a love story, but no. Was I out of his league or something? Because if I was a 10, a guy would have no problem having a girl contacting him all the time.

HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

Posted
Posted
This happened to me awhile back, so I guess want to know what people think of this and if I was really "crazy." Anyway, this guy that I went to high school with contacted me on myspace 10 years later and told me that he "always wanted to talk to me back then, but was too shy." We exchanged numbers, we met up for dinner, then we saw each other again the following week, and we hooked up. He was leaving to go overseas b/c of his military job, and he said he wasn't sure how long he'll be gone for. He told me that I could visit him, so when he left, we were keeping in touch on facebook, we said that we missed each other, etc, etc. I sent him a message like every other week, and he wouldn't respond. So, I would email him and send him a message on myspace in addition. One day, I decided to post a funny message on his fb page, "Where's your woman?" As a joke, and he immediately deleted me. I was upset. I asked him why, and he said that I was being "obsessive, possessive and neurotic." He told me that the "where's your woman post" was the straw the broke the camels back." He said that we "never discussed a relationship," which was true, but he made me believe there was a relationship, after all he told me I could visit him overseas. Two months went by and I saw that he got MARRIED! I was shocked. He must have gotten back together with some ex-friend that he met while he was in the military or something. He told me to leave him alone. I still don't understand what happened. Was I really being "crazy" to message him all the time? I've read stories that people would do that when someone moves away and the keep in touch 24/7. I wanted it to be a love story, but no. Was I out of his league or something? Because if I was a 10, a guy would have no problem having a girl contacting him all the time.

 

 

The guy was a douche cheating on his fiancé went back home to her and that's why he wasn't responding to you. He's a cheating jerk! He got so mad about your post because his wife might of found out. Don't listen to a single word the liar told you.

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Omei Established Member

Omei

Posted
Posted (edited)

Don't sweat it even if you were being needy whatever hes nothing anyway worry about being like that with someone else forget him.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

Posted
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Posted
hhehe that's a little funny.

 

But seriously don't sweat it even if you were being needy whatever hes nothing anyway worry about being like that with someone else forget him.

 

 

Yeah, I guess in those situations, I don't really know if I should show too much interest or no interest. It's a no win situation, if someone comes off as needy it's a turn off, if they are not needy at all, they are not interested. Can't please people either way.

dogeared Established Member

dogeared

Posted
Posted

The fact that you kept messaging him in two places even though he wasn't responding does make you kind of obsessive.

 

However, he clearly cheated on his gf with you.

 

While I don't see how your FB post was supposed to be a joke or funny, he obviously freaked out about out because he didn't want his gf to see it.

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Candy_Pants Established Member

Candy_Pants

Posted
Posted

How does one assume a relationship just because there was an offer to visit????

 

And yes. Regardless of his possible relationship/infidelity you were being obsessive by writing him after he stopped responding.

 

If I were a man your behavior would've been completely unattractive. Even as a woman it's unattractive. And then the fb PUBLIC post was just....over the line. And yes, posessive and borderline neurotic.

 

How do you figure that the reason he wasn't responding was because you weren't a "10"?? He wasn't responding initially for whatever reason. Thennnn he stopped responding because he was probably hoping you'd get the hint and *disappear*. Except you didn't....

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Assasda Established Member

Assasda

Posted
Posted

OP I think you have bad insecurity issues. Not only because youre trying to rate yourself on a scale of 1-10, and you believe in someone being "out of someone's league", but also because you slept with him after 1 week.

 

You just seem desperate.

You were never anything special to the guy, just to tell you bluntly.

OP move on

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

Posted
  • Author
Posted
How does one assume a relationship just because there was an offer to visit????

 

And yes. Regardless of his possible relationship/infidelity you were being obsessive by writing him after he stopped responding.

 

If I were a man your behavior would've been completely unattractive. Even as a woman it's unattractive. And then the fb PUBLIC post was just....over the line. And yes, posessive and borderline neurotic.

 

How do you figure that the reason he wasn't responding was because you weren't a "10"?? He wasn't responding initially for whatever reason. Thennnn he stopped responding because he was probably hoping you'd get the hint and *disappear*. Except you didn't....

 

Yeah, I don't see why he wasn't man enough to straight up tell him he was no longer interested. Instead of me just messaging him every week or so thinking he was still interested. I don't read minds and I think everyone is guilty of ignoring someone and hoping they go away, but if the opposite happened, I would just need to the guy straight up that I wasn't interested, its just common courtesy. Its a lesson learned.

Candy_Pants Established Member

Candy_Pants

Posted
Posted
Yeah, I don't see why he wasn't man enough to straight up tell him he was no longer interested. Instead of me just messaging him every week or so thinking he was still interested. I don't read minds and I think everyone is guilty of ignoring someone and hoping they go away, but if the opposite happened, I would just need to the guy straight up that I wasn't interested, its just common courtesy. Its a lesson learned.

 

Maybe he wasn't "uninterested" until you began obsessively contacting him. Maybe he was genuinely busy and/or had little to no access to a computer.

 

I prefer telling a guy I'm not interested as soon as I know I'm not interested. He should've done the same.

 

As a rule of thumb, when I was dating if a guy didn't message me back I'd maaaaybe write him just to "check in". After that the ball is in his court.

TXGuy Established Member

TXGuy

Posted
Posted

Continuing to contact someone after two or three non-responsive messages is in the neighborhood of obsessive and creepy. Doing it on a public forum is worse.

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