missnessa85 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 My boyfriend of 5 and 1/2 years very recently reconciled after a breakup (This past Friday). I apologized for breaking up with him and realized i was just playing games. Well we spent a wonderful weekend together where we communicated. Monday morning he went back to his home (60 miles away) and immediately pulled away from me. He called me that night stating he doesnt know what he wants anymore (since i broke up with him) and that he doesnt love me the way he used to! He stated he feels dead inside... I dont understand! The breakup was short and lasted only 5 days. He did recently lose his job and is in major debt. Could he be reflecting his unhappiness with that on me? I am trying my hardest to show him i love him but he wont have anything to do with me. What do i do?
Mevi Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Hey. Having been on the receiving end of this a few times, I can tell you where my head was and perhaps that will explain his thought process too. To be blunt - I lost trust with her. To have your heart ripped to pieces, then a few days later they tell you they made a mistake, makes your head spin and your feelings become really confused and complicated. It's hard to trust someone with your heart again because for all you know a week, month or even a year down the line they could do it all over again. Is this the first time you have broken up with him, or is this a repeating scenario in your relationship? Him losing his job and being in major debt could certainly be an important part of this. Perhaps he felt that he needed you now more than ever and you broke up with him. He may resent you broke up with him. It may take a little time before he knows what he wants. 1
Author missnessa85 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 To be honest, no, this isnt the first time. In fact, it happened every other week for years. So that is why i am so confused as to what was different this time. I dont know why i would break things off with him other than getting his attention. It was stupid and i know that. Im really trying hard to show him i love him, but i need the opportunity to do so.
Mevi Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I know personally I could only take so much and then I went..numb. Of course I don't know him and he may very well react entirely differently to myself. However, if this has happened multiple times, it may have just become too much for him to take. Especially when you factor in his job loss and major debt. He may need some time alone to figure out what he wants from life, and how he can approach fixing the financial issues he's currently facing. I hope things work out for you, but you may need to wait a while and see what he wants. If you continue to push him, you may lose him. He's not answering/replying for a reason, he needs time.
Author missnessa85 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 I know personally I could only take so much and then I went..numb. Of course I don't know him and he may very well react entirely differently to myself. However, if this has happened multiple times, it may have just become too much for him to take. Especially when you factor in his job loss and major debt. He may need some time alone to figure out what he wants from life, and how he can approach fixing the financial issues he's currently facing. I hope things work out for you, but you may need to wait a while and see what he wants. If you continue to push him, you may lose him. He's not answering/replying for a reason, he needs time. Thank you...
SoThatHappened Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 To be honest, no, this isnt the first time. In fact, it happened every other week for years. So that is why i am so confused as to what was different this time. I dont know why i would break things off with him other than getting his attention. It was stupid and i know that. Im really trying hard to show him i love him, but i need the opportunity to do so. No offense, but I would be running away from you too. That is horrible to do to someone, and childish. He's better off alone that getting dumped every other week. Grow up 1
mightycpa Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 To be honest, no, this isnt the first time. In fact, it happened every other week for years. So that is why i am so confused as to what was different this time. I dont know why i would break things off with him other than getting his attention. It was stupid and i know that. Im really trying hard to show him i love him, but i need the opportunity to do so. Are you kidding? Your behavior is basically emotional abuse. He's done with being a yo-yo, and I don't really blame him. It is different because when you play the "I love you/I love you not" game, eventually, you run out of petals to pluck. 2
Zahara Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 To be honest, no, this isnt the first time. In fact, it happened every other week for years. So that is why i am so confused as to what was different this time. I dont know why i would break things off with him other than getting his attention. It was stupid and i know that. Im really trying hard to show him i love him, but i need the opportunity to do so. You must be really oblivious or rather entitled. How does he have trust in you or even feel secure in your "love" when you've denied and abandoned it time and time again? Opportunity? Every "opportunity" you had after each reconciliation was a failure on your part. What's so great and different about this time around? You must be joking to think he's a big enough sucker to keep going back to this. After every ending, you cause a little dent in his soul and his heart. He loses his attachment to you slowly. At some point, any idiot is going to say enough. 2
Recommended Posts