SparklingandBroken Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 One of the things that makes me nervous about first dates is what to talk about. I know you want to keep things light hearted. I just feel like when someone asks me questions I kind of freeze up, measuring my words. The last several years of my life were spent in a bad marriage and personally battling cancer twice. Hobbies? My life has been put on hold for 3 years. And before that I was a workaholic with no free time. My life at a glance is pretty mundane. It's all the craziness that I have to talk about, but who wants to hear that on a first date? I'm 29, I think it's difficult to relate to people my age who haven't had to deal with personal tragedies themselves.
Supernatural Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I don't know anything of what you have experienced. But rather than going on dates like coffee/walks/etc, where you're faced with cliche questions which focus on hobbies, or the past, do something active and fun like bowling, rock climbing, Frisbee, bike ride, etc. Something that puts you in the present moment with a light heart. Then open up about your past years when the time is right and the person knows you are fun. Rather than showing them your deeper/heavier side first. 3
Author SparklingandBroken Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 Thanks for the suggestions. That's the thing too..my treatment this last time I had cancer was a stem cell transplant which is pretty major. I have a lot of lung and heart problems from that. Get winded very easily, etc. I feel like I'm 75, it sucks. I could handle bowling for sure though, good idea!
todreaminblue Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 what do you find light hearted ? what type of thing makes you smile ....what do you laugh about? what type of music do you like.....what is you fave food whens the last tiem you had a holiday where have you travelled too....what do you do to unwind what do you do if you were to play sport what si yoru fave sport too watch date someone who asks lots fo questions and relax and ask questions back.....go somewhere inspiring not just to dinner go for a walk along a waters edge look at the flotsam and jetsam visit a musuem or an art gallery a music venue an old relic store go somewhere that inspiration can found and had easily....so a sunset date....a moonlit date or a sunrise date(these are particularly memorable) if you can remember to be awake..deb 2
Supernatural Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Thanks for the suggestions. That's the thing too..my treatment this last time I had cancer was a stem cell transplant which is pretty major. I have a lot of lung and heart problems from that. Get winded very easily, etc. I feel like I'm 75, it sucks. I could handle bowling for sure though, good idea! I hope you start feeling better. Well, you could play Jenga or board game or something at a pub if they have something like that where you live. They do here. Or go on a day date to the park and do that. What I'm saying though, is just focus on the present moment as much as possible. I think that's sound advice for all daters. And if he asks a lot of personal questions, just try to be short and flip it around, then open up to him in bigger ways when you feel it is better timed, rather than a first date where people are more answer sensitive. 2
Author SparklingandBroken Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 All good input. Thank you! 1
jjtr Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Sorry to hear about your struggles. Certainly there are things that you enjoy, right? Just because you don't get the chance to do them as much as you would like or once did doesn't mean that they're no longer enjoyable to you. Also, I wouldn't sweat it too much. I've found that people who list a book of hobbies more or less just list them to list them. Is canoeing really a hobby if you do it once a year?
Astrolink Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Do you like professional sporting events (MLB baseball, NFL football, NBA basketball or car racing? Probably 90% of guys love this stuff and you get a good walk because you always have to park a mile away. 1
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