Mliu Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 If you had sex with someone and then stop all contact with that person.. would that be considered you have just used them? What if you had sex with that person but coincidently you decided to call of all dates because sex didn't feel right but would like to be friends.. Would that still be considered You have just used that person for sex?
TXGuy Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 (edited) Having sex with someone and disappearing is poor form. It would seem unlikely that would lead to a friendship. Deciding not to pursue a relationship because of sexual incompatibility is perfectly reasonable. The follow up discussion would have to be treated delicately, but there is no real reason that would preclude a future friendship. Eta: I don't know if either scenario would mean one party used the other. It would depend on the motivation. It would seem like cutting all contact without explanation could indicate using them. Edited August 13, 2014 by TXGuy 2
cerridwen Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 If you had sex with someone and then stop all contact with that person.. would that be considered you have just used them? IMO, "using" someone would involved this scenario: Person One misleads the other into thinking the encounter is more serious / meaningful / permanent than it actually is to Person One. Person One just wants to get off / find comfort / get validated but says or gives the impression of something different to Person Two. Abruptly cutting contact after sex is, at best, unkind. It's actually a pretty dick move. Is it using someone? See the above. Much depends on what was established beforehand. What if you had sex with that person but coincidently you decided to call of all dates because sex didn't feel right but would like to be friends.. Would that still be considered You have just used that person for sex?No, not in my book. Again, "using" implies deception on some level. Were you deceptive about getting him/her into bed? If it was a sexual mismatch, oh well. It happens. You decided it was best to remain friends. Well, friendships require respect and honesty, so give the person the courtesy of a honest explanation rather than just a disappearing act. 1
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