isisisweeping Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 If you've texted with and not met a guy from OLD, do you text to say you will not be communicating anymore or just stop responding or say you'll message them if you're both free in the future. I've had some things go on, that have left me less interested in pursuing things with anyone at this point because I need to be alone. It was nothing the guy(s) did. I just have had some avalanches in my life that I just need to focus on. What is appropriate and kindest?
ThorntonMelon Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Just disappear. It happens all the time. And good luck to you.
aprilisi Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I agree, just disappear. You've never met the person. I've done this, and have had it done to me many, many times. Did it just recently we talked two months, he said he wanted to meet but would always flake out. I just grew bored with the convo. He has since messged me four times but he'll get the point eventually.
jjtr Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I think disappearing is perfectly fine. I think the kindest approach is a quick "not interested" message.
todreaminblue Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 be courteous tell the truth and explain why you cant see them......but thats me...if they are rude or sexually explicit after one thing, i wouldnt bother with a tell i just disappear....which is why i dotn do old....thats the majority of what i have found..when they have been respectful guys i tell them why i cant speak to them anymore.....its normally because i am dating someone and i do date singularly one guy so i can concentrate on getting to know them....i am used to stressors in my life and being pressured.....so i havent had that come up yet.....if i need time alone i would just say that and continue to talk to them....deb
katinlc Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Why disappear? Why not take 30 seconds when they text you again to explain what is going on? If it is not them, but truly you are not ready to date, why not let them know that? Why leave them wondering why again someone has disappeared on them? Yes, I know it's the common practice and I've been disappeared on, but I have never disappeared on someone. I won't text them first to tell them, but if they do text me I'm kind enough to let them know...just seems like a better way. They usually thank me for being honest. 3
fred123 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 If you've texted with and not met a guy from OLD, do you text to say you will not be communicating anymore or just stop responding or say you'll message them if you're both free in the future. I've had some things go on, that have left me less interested in pursuing things with anyone at this point because I need to be alone. It was nothing the guy(s) did. I just have had some avalanches in my life that I just need to focus on. What is appropriate and kindest? if u were truly interested in a guy u wud tell him the reason why as not to lose him. but ur not
guest569 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I would initially just stop contact, but if the men are contacting you and showing interest then you should tell them you are not interested. The reason i would try going quiet first is because they might not be all that keen either. I disagree with people saying it is fine to disappear, because it isn't always fine for the person being rejected. Sometimes silence is more hurtful because it means you're not even worthy of an explanation, and it hurts to simply be ignored. If as you say, its you, not them, it shouldn't be too hard to let them down. 1
Author isisisweeping Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Okay, my initial reaction was to say something, but my friends have told me it's too much for something that isn't really anything yet and would likely be more bothersome/weird than kind.
Author isisisweeping Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 if u were truly interested in a guy u wud tell him the reason why as not to lose him. but ur not Whether I'm interested has little to do with anything. Also, I'm clearly going to "lose him" regardless. I'm certainly not going to keep someone on a hook waiting for when I sort this out just to start giving a chance if it could work out. I do not really know these guys yet. Exactly how interested are you supposed to be in a person you do not yet know? I was interested in getting to know them and now I simply cannot. That is, if I read whatever that is correctly. I'm not familiar with u, wud, ur.
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