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Do I owe him a conversation


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Posted

I posted a few months ago about a guy I met on okc. Things were going well after we clarified things.

 

About a month ago now, he got a second job as a bartender. I haven't seen him in over two weeks and we barely talk now. Things are definitely different. We had only been seeing eachother once a week anyway, but in contact multiple times a day and generally knew what was going on in each other's day to day lives.

 

I've felt the disconnect and so I've definitely withdrawn a bit too. I'm not going to make a fool of myself with constant "I miss yous" when it's so clear he doesn't give a ****. Actions speak louder than words, right? I feel like he's blowing me off BUT that if I call him out and cut ties he'll play clueless.

 

Now...a guy who I am very attracted to asked me out the other night but I didn't make any plans. I feel like I need to say something to guy number one so I don't feel guilty about anything that might happen.

 

Any advice? I don't even know where to start.

Posted

I don't really think you do. If he hasn't made a huge amount of effort to be in contact with you then surely he won't notice your not texting/calling him. I think you should go on a date with this other guy and see how it goes. If this guys contacts you in the future you can have a discussion with him then. I think if you were to mention it now he would think you had over analysed the relationship or at least make it seem you had done this.

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Posted

It's hard to date a bartender unless you have a lot of flexibility. They work when other people party.

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Posted

I don't think you owe guy #1 anything. He's preoccupied with his new job and perhaps even someone else. People will make time for someone they are invested in. A text takes a few seconds - even a bartender can send a quick text during a shift.

 

Go out with this other guy - keep your options open.

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Posted

Unless you two had a verbal agreement to remain exclusive, you should both still be dating when you want to.

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