bobjon Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I guess a follow up to my previous post. Visited a local small town spot, a woman was ALL over me. She is smoking hot but I am highly attracted to her personality as well. We texted a bit, she told me she was talking to another guy and really did not want to 2x and wanted to see where that lead her first. I backed off. We started texting it up again. She did not want to talk on the phone. boundaries I guess. Like 400 text back and forth. Learned a lot about each other and I think she knows our personalities match up pretty good. I mentioned that I ended up at her neighbors house (another woman that is interested in me) for a little gathering. She wanted to know if I was getting busy with her. I mentioned yesterday I was out shopping for shirts and she asked if I had a hot date. Could just be playful chat. She has not advanced past this stage and I am not going any further after her blocking me out before. She knows I am interested. I think she has a superficial side and I am not her ideal "type". However, I can see through her BS. I accidently pocket texted her the other night. She followed up the next morning wanting to chat. We have been texting the past few days. I will likely run into her at a wedding this weekend. I have not decided how I will play that but likely NOT very forward. Just cannot figure her out.
smackie9 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 This was like two weeks ago, when are you going to figure it out that she isn't interested in dating you. 1
SYLLPalmer Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 She likes attention and is trying to keep you interested. Live talk requires too much investment. Texting is ideal. Shallow Hal, not Oscar material I am sure, but the concept was neat. We can see past the exterior if we really want to. The time is yours to spend as you please. I personally hate when retrospective review uncovers waste that could have been avoided. Some people are a just that. There ought to be at least one or two cute girls at that wedding....
Author bobjon Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 Gotcha! I guess the way I have to look at this is, if it is this hard to get in with her, it may just suck the whole way through.
Author bobjon Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Just dunno, now she has moved up to sending me pics along with some rather detailed past history. I guess if anything else, a high chance of getting laid this weekend! :D:D
Author bobjon Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 I just don't know what is in her head but I do know she is not communicating with several other guys and likely none. I say that because she lives in a small town and I am good friends with her best friend. I also could not possibly see how she would squeeze in the time!!!! This is like all day texting, like I am not at my best at work even though I am self employed. Like seriously 500 texts now.... I did not ask for any pics but she has sent several now. None naughty thought....:mad: but I don't think she is that type unless in a relationship. At least I HOPE not!!! I am looking for more than a date. We are mostly chatting about compatibility because if our kids. Past screw ups, etc. Despite the fun, unless I hear otherwise, I do NOT plan to advance her at ALL. Actually, if she wants a date, she can ask me right now. I have no idea on this subject but she found out I play an instrument very well. That seemed to really peak her interest in me.
fred123 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 good question. sometimes i ask the girl i like and talking to " how does a guy know if he is ajust a friend or more when talking to a girl" because i find it impossible to know. also a girl has many outs so when u call them out on things they can say " i talk to all my guy friends like this or i meant i like you as a friend or i said yes to dinner because i also go dinner with my guy friends or i say i miss u to my guy friends also"
smackie9 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 good question. sometimes i ask the girl i like and talking to " how does a guy know if he is ajust a friend or more when talking to a girl" because i find it impossible to know. also a girl has many outs so when u call them out on things they can say " i talk to all my guy friends like this or i meant i like you as a friend or i said yes to dinner because i also go dinner with my guy friends or i say i miss u to my guy friends also" Easy....if they are not sleeping with you, you are just a friend.
fred123 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Easy....if they are not sleeping with you, you are just a friend. do you tell them that?
Author bobjon Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Then there is friend sex..... I might go more with the kissing as the ultimate sign. I think I am going to pull back on this deal and see what she does. I sort of think if I have to work this hard for it, it probably ain't meant to be. Even if we date or something, she might not be feelin it, in which in my experience, if it takes a lot to get them "in to you", it probably does not take much to get the "not in love with you" talk.
d0nnivain Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 bobjon The uptick in interest may simply be so you flirt with her at the wedding where you expect to see her. Unless she's all romantic and physical in public with you, assume you're friends. If she initiates slow dances, see where it leads but if you want to date her rather than just sleep with her talk about that before you fall into bed so you know you are both on the same page.
Author bobjon Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Too many conflicting things here to sort through. Why does she ask if I am rolling in the hay with anyone, want to know my history and what I like, like she is trying to test compatibility, but yet will not initiate more than texting??? This would all seem pointless if she did not start this whole mess by hanging ALL over me at the dance hall. She was obviously into me then... She has made it VERY clear that is is NOT looking for a date, she is looking for someone to marry. She has flopped two relationships and feels she knows what qualities she desires. I still think a lot of it is superficial but who knows. Send me pictures and such, yet will not move forward.
d0nnivain Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I think she's a bit odd. You have to date in order to develop a relationship to determine if marriage is possible & you are compatible. If you like this woman, be frank with her. At the wedding get her alone & say that you are aware she wants a serious relationship with an eye toward marriage. You respect those goals but everybody has to start somewhere & you think having dinner together would be an excellent 1st step.
RonaldS Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 This is easy. Friendzone her, and watch what happens. 1
slizl Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I can tell by your warped POV that you are a creeper and she is not interested in you.
Author bobjon Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 Figured I would update. Finally met her again last night. Instant attraction!! We finally slept together and kissed for 2hrs. Have to admit, probably one of the most intense situations I have ever been in! We had some time to talk and work out the kinks of our situation. Guess we will see where things go from here but looking up!
Author bobjon Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 I am not sure where it will go but you could not pry us apart last night. To answer a few of your questions, there really was no warming up, I walked in, she attacked and owned me. No issue claiming me all night. I was actually the one putting the brakes on in bed. We did not get a chance to dance but we talked all night. I let her know dating was important to me because that is how I failed my last R. i think for both of us, finding someone that that you are majorly attracted to AND make great friends with is a big surge of exciting!
smackie9 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Cool now stop coming here with your insecurities. Next time if you have a concern, talk to them not us. Communication is key. Makes life stress free. Best of luck.
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Figured I would update. Finally met her again last night. Instant attraction!! We finally slept together and kissed for 2hrs. Have to admit, probably one of the most intense situations I have ever been in! We had some time to talk and work out the kinks of our situation. Guess we will see where things go from here but looking up! What kinks?
kart180 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 She does not respond to any fithy texts and just say, Oh u are too far from me. We can only be friends.
Supernatural Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Friend zoned, How do you know? OHHHH....YOU KNOW! I don't have to call my psychiatrist on those questions!
Author bobjon Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 "kinks". We have both been hurt over the years and she has been taking a cautious approach. I read it as not interested. That all changed fast once we saw each other again. I was going to be rather laid back but the girl literally jumped on me when I saw her. It went from 2 to 10 real quick. We have been talking for a month via text and such. Our friends seem mostly blown away with the whole deal but I don't think either of us care! I don't expect everyone to "get it" but we talk about everything. Extremely open situation. I spent the day with her yesterday trying to test this situation. It grew STRONG quickly rather than fizzle or stagnate. I think we both know this is much more than an infatuation or physical attraction only. She admitted that feelings did nothing but grow all day together. We have both been counseled to "take it slow" so we are trying to!! Not working out too well, but trying! Thing that gets me is she had me the second I met her! Never a question in my mind. What is probably most exciting is more than just partners, she is the type that could be my best friend and we have already walked the friendly path without issue.
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 "kinks". We have both been hurt over the years and she has been taking a cautious approach. I read it as not interested. That all changed fast once we saw each other again. I was going to be rather laid back but the girl literally jumped on me when I saw her. It went from 2 to 10 real quick. We have been talking for a month via text and such. Our friends seem mostly blown away with the whole deal but I don't think either of us care! I don't expect everyone to "get it" but we talk about everything. Extremely open situation. I spent the day with her yesterday trying to test this situation. It grew STRONG quickly rather than fizzle or stagnate. I think we both know this is much more than an infatuation or physical attraction only. She admitted that feelings did nothing but grow all day together. We have both been counseled to "take it slow" so we are trying to!! Not working out too well, but trying! Thing that gets me is she had me the second I met her! Never a question in my mind. What is probably most exciting is more than just partners, she is the type that could be my best friend and we have already walked the friendly path without issue. Great to hear, sounds like you've got a keeper!
d0nnivain Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 For you perhaps take is slow should mean guard your heart. Don't get too emotionally invested while you are still in the hot & heavy stage. You want this to be a connection not just hormones
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