HeartOnMySleeve87 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 So, I really like this guy. Like really really like this guy. I started talking to him less than a week ago. It was literally like 4 days ago. Background: I dated a person he knew that he used to be friends with of his for around 3 years. I broke up with him after starting to talk to the new guy. Not really because of him but because the guy I was dating and I had been fighting off and on for 1 year and the relationship was un-repairable. I decided to hold on for too long for no reason. So I just cut the rope and got it over with. I had met the new guy from dating the previous guy. Around 3 years ago. You could always tell he was interested but obviously there was no requirement to act on it. Two days after we started talking we decided to hang out. I had texted him twice that day asking him to hang out. Once was around 10 am, saying I was going for a walk, the second was around 5. The responses were basically "busy right now, should be free later". At 10 he wanted to hang out. Hesitantly I did. He spent a lot of the night talking about my ex and mutual friends. But maybe thats the only thing he had to talk to me about at this point. We ended up sleeping together. Unprotected. I told him no and that it wasn't a couple idea on a couple times and then eventually I caved. After we were done, I asked him if he wanted me to leave. He said no and that if he did he would have no problem telling me that. So I stayed for an hour or and and then left. Before I left he told me that he felt bad about that and should have used protection. I told him not to worry that that everything would be fine. He texted me when I left him house, small talk and then the next morning he wrote "Feeling guility". I said no not really and he said that he was and couldn't stop thinking about the unprotected thing. I asked him if he wanted to stop talking to me, and he said no that he would like to continue to take things a day at a time. Texts have slowed down tremendously. I guess I just wan to know if he is still interested. I get the vibe he's not, but he says he is. Maybe he really is just busy?
me85 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Hmmmm...he's just freaked out about the possibility of either knocking you up or getting/giving an STD. Don't contact him, let him contact you.
Elle1975 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I hate to say it, but if you "really, really liked" this guy, responding to a booty call at 10 pm probably wasn't the best thing to do. Could be that he's busy, or could be that he hit it so easily that he lost interest. 1
Author HeartOnMySleeve87 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 hey, I did already contact him every now and then and it's just like one word replies. for two days following that first day together or whatever. I confronted him about it. I just said "so, u claim to be a blunt person, as am I, I'm just going to ask you to be blunt with me right now about why you haven't seemed like you wanted to talk". I know I shouldnt have said that but I was angry and trying to sort through emotions. He replied "Yes. I been busy". then i proceeded to say that I think it was more than that. Then i remembered he was at work and probably shouldn't be bothered with any of this so before he even would have a chance to respond I put "look sorry I forgot you were at work, that just hit me, sorry I was bugging you. have a good night". I was trying to salvage my lack of self control. That was at 2 am. There has been no reply. I am obviously just going to wait for a reply now and not contact him again. Do you honestly think he will even reply? We were supposed to have plans tomorrow. But those were initiated before the meeting the other day happened. I haven't brought it up, so I guess I am just kinda waiting to see if it still happens.
Strength in Healing Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Maybe he realized he backstabbed a friend and is perhaps a terrible human being, and perhaps you are as well? That's what would be going through my head if I ever even considered making that mistake. 1
Author HeartOnMySleeve87 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 Maybe that is it. I may be a horrible human being.
Strength in Healing Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Sounds like you just lack self respect, instead of you being a bad person. I'd use this as a learning experience to better yourself.
Zippy2000 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Oh dear. Lesson learned. In the old traditional days. The man had to woo and romance and treat a girl right for a relationship, courtship and if things are right the woman would offer sex. Unfortunately these days people offer it on a plate and have no one to blame but themselves when things go wrong. He`s not interested. His actions show this. Men in general can have sex when they want with no emotional attachment. Let this be a lesson.
Author HeartOnMySleeve87 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 Thanks. I think I already knew that.... just would rather have him say those words... 1
maysj18 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Thanks. I think I already knew that.... just would rather have him say those words... Yeah, he sounds kind of ****ty. He started talking to you right around the time you were in the process of breaking up with his friend, kept pushing sex even after you said no, and is now blowing you off without real explanation. Lesson learned. Take Plan B, get tested and move on.
lionheart153 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 sorry to say but it looks like he got what he wanted already.... I would say any expectations from him can be thrown out the window. and if he contacts again don't sleep with him to see what happens when you deny what he seems to only want
Elle1975 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Thanks. I think I already knew that.... just would rather have him say those words... He won't. He's pulling a "if I don't reply, she'll go away" on you. Just see that as a lesson learned. And get yourself tested for STDs; now, and in 6 months.
Supernatural Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Let's take it easy on this girl. No need to smash her here. It's about giving her perspective, not scarring her from LoveShack. Anyways... Judging by his behavior, it seems he feels guilty because he shagged his buddies ex. If that was me, I would feel like I betrayed my friend. I doubt you two ahve a future because of this. His friend would kick his ass/hate him if he knew you two started dating. Too much to lose for the new guy. If he said he feels guilty because of the whole no condom thing.. I would be sketched out, as he could have an STD. Best to take a mirror and inspect your vag and go get checked. If you want sex from him, you go probably do that for a little while, but I suggest you just cut this and move on.
Author HeartOnMySleeve87 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 Let's take it easy on this girl. No need to smash her here. It's about giving her perspective, not scarring her from LoveShack. Thanks! I didn't say that I was proud of what happened. Just going through my emotions and trying to sort out his. Things are going better. I am just taking things a day at a time. Thanks for everyone's perspective.
Author HeartOnMySleeve87 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 Thanks Anyways... Judging by his behavior, it seems he feels guilty because he shagged his buddies ex. If that was me, I would feel like I betrayed my friend. I doubt you two ahve a future because of this. His friend would kick his ass/hate him if he knew you two started dating. Too much to lose for the new guy. If he said he feels guilty because of the whole no condom thing.. I would be sketched out, as he could have an STD. Best to take a mirror and inspect your vag and go get checked. If you want sex from him, you go probably do that for a little while, but I suggest you just cut this and move on.
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