Kokoro-Fan Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I am at an all time confused. I was under the impression that you first get to know a girl but that naturally leads to a friendship. Friends ask friends out, but I also read that you aren't supposed to because you can get friendzoned. So, at what point do you ask a girl out? How can you tell if you made an impression on girl? I always get that mixed up with a girl being friendly. What about a girl you just met somewhere? Party? Store? My friend doesn't give a crap and can ask any girl out. When rejected he casually plays it off and doesn't care. I have seen him get the numbers of girls he just met at stores. I don't know what kind of girls these are personally. I am asking because today I went to the hospital and the clerk was lovely and had a great personality. We made each other laugh a few times too and it felt great. I am not sure if we flirted but I am certain we didn't, but she was friendly and even hooked me up with a discount. She gave me a good impression and all I wanted was to ask her out. Why didn't I ask her out? I don't have real confidence. I am working to make myself more attractive because I let myself go. That will take time to do. A girl like her must be married I assume. Even if she isn't, I ask myself what she would find in a guy like me. We are both young adults so the mindset should be mature. It does feel nice thinking about this girl and knowing I can move on from another girl that I like. It makes me think that I'll be okay. Besides it's not like I haven't asked out a girl that I barely met. I did it before and she said no. Asking a girl you just met doesn't seem to work.
Philosoraptor Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Asking women out you just met works for most people. But like anything, there is no guarantee. You will get turned down, many times. Who cares though? You don't know them anyways so why let a strangers opinion affect you? For your example: "You seem like a lot of fun. How about you let me repay you for the discount by taking you out to dinner one night?" What do you really have to lose by asking? Most times you won't even see these women ever again... and it's better to ask than to be left with that "what if" feeling playing in your head.
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 You ask somebody out shortly after meeting them. You don't wait around for months & months being their friend (unless you are in high school). It's a little tougher when you meet someone while she is at work. The clerk's job involves being nice to you so it's harder to read the situation. If you have reason to see the employee again, you wait for 1-2 visits before asking to assure the person doesn't have a SO. If you never have reason to go back there, you ask immediately but you don't get all that emotionally invested in the answer. (be OK with it if she says no; don't take it personally)
eching Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 If you meet someone you're interested in, be straight up and ask her. If your ultimate goal is to create a romantic relationship with someone, don't try to start with a friendship because that's what she'll be thinking this is, while somewhere in the middle you'll want to try and switch. Also, it's a little dishonest. The worst thing is when you find a guy is trying to be friendly with you when you know his intentions are something else. I think the friendship as a foundation thing only works when the friendship is organic. Be straight up when you like a girl so she can be straight up back. If you dance around the whole thing, and she's not really interested, she can't really say anything because you haven't put anything forth.
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