moonlightpath Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 It's hard. Its hard being in a place where so much has happened with that person. Its hard to do the same things you did with them. How do you cope? I hate this feeling.
Reels Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Find some new hobbies, recall your duties and try completing them everyday. You will finally exempt from the feeling of being 'lonely'. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 I wish it was easier to actually do so.
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 You need to rearrange your life or at least parts of it. Stop doing the same things you did with them. If you always went for coffee at XYZ place, start going to ABC place if you like coffee or better yet, start drinking tea. Move the furniture around in your living space. Get new sheets & bedding, then sleep in the middle. Take up a new hobby or go back to one you put aside for that person. Do something they hated -- leave dishes in the sink, fart in the living room, drink milk from the carton . . . you know the stuff you can't do when somebody else is effected. Get a hair cut. Buy new clothes. Re-connect with old friends & make some new ones. 4
Author moonlightpath Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 Lately I've been trying to get back to the way my life routine use to be before him. I didn't have the healthiest relationship with him. He made me cut quiet a few friends from my life simply because he was insecure and didn't trust me. I felt as if i didn't need anyone else but him so I made him into my best friend. Which led to me shutting out my real friends. Now i find myself with VERY few friends all because I was being selfish and only thinking about my boyfriend's feelings. I wasn't thinking of the feelings of my true actual friends.
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 So reach out for your friends. Apologize for being short sighted & move on.
Author moonlightpath Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 ^^ I already did. I just don't want to come off as someone who only contacts a person when they're in need of something. 1
me85 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I'm sorry. I know just how you feel. I did the same thing with one close friend (supposed to be best friend) but found she wasn't my true friend after all because when I reached out to her (well after my BU) telling her I missed her a lot and wanted to catch up (but the feeling wasn't mutual) she was extremely short with me and gave me the cold shoulder as if, "naaaa." I never even got the chance to tell her I had been single for several months and happier without my ex. Bitch. A true friend won't blow you off just because they don't like your boyfriend. I never neglected her at all. She just told me she couldn't be there for me anymore because I basically vented to her too much about my ex and she was tired of hearing it ... even though her marriage was far from perfect and she always complained to me about her husband ... Anyways...I'm making plans to move for the same reasons you are sad right now. I live in the same town as my ex and we made memories at every single place I see or go to. There's always something there to remind me. Besides, there's nothing for me in my home state. I've always wanted to move away this has just been the final push I've needed to leave. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 I'm sorry. I know just how you feel. I did the same thing with one close friend (supposed to be best friend) but found she wasn't my true friend after all because when I reached out to her (well after my BU) telling her I missed her a lot and wanted to catch up (but the feeling wasn't mutual) she was extremely short with me and gave me the cold shoulder as if, "naaaa." I never even got the chance to tell her I had been single for several months and happier without my ex. Bitch. A true friend won't blow you off just because they don't like your boyfriend. I never neglected her at all. She just told me she couldn't be there for me anymore because I basically vented to her too much about my ex and she was tired of hearing it ... even though her marriage was far from perfect and she always complained to me about her husband ... Anyways...I'm making plans to move for the same reasons you are sad right now. I live in the same town as my ex and we made memories at every single place I see or go to. There's always something there to remind me. Besides, there's nothing for me in my home state. I've always wanted to move away this has just been the final push I've needed to leave. My friend accepted my apology and said he understood the position I was in. We have plans to spend the day together next week. A part of me feels embarrassed to see him again. Since he was a close friend of mine and I pushed him away all for a guy who did nothing but try to make me feel guilt all the time. I am grateful to have at least him back in my life. I don't think I could get through this without having his support. I'm very sorry to hear that you're moving over a guy but maybe we both just need a fresh start.
me85 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Well, like I said, I've always wanted to move. There's nothing for me here. So called friends are fake, I'm not at all close with the family I have here and there's absolutely no future for me here. It's a very small place with nothing to do except go to restaurants and watch movies in a fancy movie theater. lol I want to travel and see the world and start my life over completely; somewhere new. Keep leaning on your friend. Good friends mean so much in life.
Author moonlightpath Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 Well, like I said, I've always wanted to move. There's nothing for me here. So called friends are fake, I'm not at all close with the family I have here and there's absolutely no future for me here. It's a very small place with nothing to do except go to restaurants and watch movies in a fancy movie theater. lol I want to travel and see the world and start my life over completely; somewhere new. Keep leaning on your friend. Good friends mean so much in life. Guess its time for you to move then I hope you do well. The only problem with my friend is that he has feelings for me.
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Girls can & will be catty when you drop them for a BF. Your guy buddies will mostly understand that they had to fade away because the BF saw them as competition. They will be more forgiving but it's tough to get a new BF to accept male friends. 1
Sixandout Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 It's hard. Its hard being in a place where so much has happened with that person. Its hard to do the same things you did with them. How do you cope? I hate this feeling. It is really hard. I have no answers. I just keep telling myself that I was happy being single before I met him, so theoretically there's no reason I can't be again. Although it goes against the great advice, for me, I've found that in terms of day to day I've actually found it easier being in familiar places. Whenever I go somewhere new I'm always thinking how much my ex would like this place, how I wish I was sharing this new experience with him etc etc. Although new is exciting and a great distraction, it's still difficult. 2
me85 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Guess its time for you to move then I hope you do well. The only problem with my friend is that he has feelings for me. Thank you. I hope you do well too. You may not want to hear it but you probably shouldn't hang out with your friend if he has feelings for you but you don't have those kind of feelings for him. I've had to stop hanging out and talking to guy friends because of that very reason. They just take your friendship as some sort of liking for them. Even after you make it clear that you see them as just a friend. It really annoys me, quite honestly. It is really hard. I have no answers. I just keep telling myself that I was happy being single before I met him, so theoretically there's no reason I can't be again. Although it goes against the great advice, for me, I've found that in terms of day to day I've actually found it easier being in familiar places. Whenever I go somewhere new I'm always thinking how much my ex would like this place, how I wish I was sharing this new experience with him etc etc. Although new is exciting and a great distraction, it's still difficult. I've experienced feeling that way in a new place as well. But at least when I'm somewhere different it'll be my own memories ... not mine and his together. I am aware that moving away won't solve anything as far as attempting to get over someone. That's only a fraction of my motivation for moving. I wanted me and my ex to move out of state when we were together. Our home state is just slow paced and boring. Nothing goes on here! I'm meant for greater things. DON'T LAUGH! It's true. I know it. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 It is really hard. I have no answers. I just keep telling myself that I was happy being single before I met him, so theoretically there's no reason I can't be again. Although it goes against the great advice, for me, I've found that in terms of day to day I've actually found it easier being in familiar places. Whenever I go somewhere new I'm always thinking how much my ex would like this place, how I wish I was sharing this new experience with him etc etc. Although new is exciting and a great distraction, it's still difficult. I keep telling myself I can be happy again as well. It's hard though. Right now I'm living at home. But next week I'm moving back to the same area that he lives in. We went to so many places and did so many things together. I haven't seen him since May. But we recently broke up. I just hope that not seeing him for 3.5 months has helped me get passed everything we did together. I also feel as if I'm developing anxiety. I cant help but feel anxious.
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