Previously married Christians believe in living together outside marraige

[TheFinalWord]

All in all, it seems Christians split off only because there's a certain belief they don't like and go their own way, even build their own church and so on.

 

Good points.

 

The issue with this is that Christianity has both universal and individual aspects to it. There are core doctrines, but it is not a one size fits all cookie cutter approach. God gives each believer the Holy Spirit to help them make it though their lives. It is really individual. The Lord cares about each person and works with each person individually; at the same time, Christ instituted the church to help Christians bolster one another. However, many Christians like to use God's Word to bash people upside the head and judge.

 

It's nothing new...

If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people? Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, do you ask for a ruling from those whose way of life is scorned in the church? I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? But instead, one brother takes another to court—and this in front of unbelievers! The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers and sisters.

 

It's not to say there are no rules, its just at a certain point Christians shouldn't need someone telling them "do this, don't do this"

 

We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

[irc333]

There is much truth to the above article but unfortunately I think the take home message is wrong. That woman, while remaining a virgin, still made an idol out of sex. As she said, her identity became centered around purity. See? Even a good thing which God wants us to do can still become an idol. But does that mean we shouldn't do it? Should she have just acted like everyone else and slept around? No. She did the right thing by remaining pure. Unfortunately another sin (either pride or guilt) made her develop unhealthy mindsets around this otherwise correct way of life.

 

So it was kind of a lose/lose situation for her (not sure if that' s the right word), apparently the development of being the "good little pure girl" came yet another sin from it.

 

I know practicing Christians, most of which are divorced and had been through abusive, hellish marraiges, that wouldn't bat an eye to say, "Sorry, God, I'm living with this man for 2 years before getting married to him".

 

There's other situations too, based on such experiences, the " been there done that" senarios among Christian say, "Sorry, but....I've played by the rules in the past...in the interest of self-preservation

 

Some will admittedly and shamelessly say, "Yes, sorry, but I'm going ot have to think of myself."

 

Look out for number 1.

[M30USA]

So it was kind of a lose/lose situation for her (not sure if that' s the right word), apparently the development of being the "good little pure girl" came yet another sin from it.

 

Do you honestly believe I said this? The point I'm making is there is a difference between legalism and righteousness of the heart. The woman in article was being legalistically pure, but her heart wasn't righteous in this regard.

 

I know practicing Christians, most of which are divorced and had been through abusive, hellish marraiges, that wouldn't bat an eye to say, "Sorry, God, I'm living with this man for 2 years before getting married to him".

 

You are talking about 2 different things now: living together before marriage and having sex before marriage.

[taiko]

Sorry I can't figure out how to do the inline quoting thing so I'll paraphrase what I understood from the OP.

 

A woman was in an abusive marriage so she got divorced.

 

If that is a sin what is the proper remedy? Where is the line drawn between God's responsibility to care for an individual and a person's own responsibility to care for themselves.

 

And based off of that bad experience she is taking steps to ensure it doesn't happen again by making sure she truly knows someone before she makes any more vows etc.

 

I see an element of taking responsibility for ones life and choices in that decision. To me it sounds like she was naive and now she is less so.

 

I'm guessing I'll be on the losing end of this debate but you know what they say about throwing the first stone.

 

Although we have the responsibility to make ourselves sexually available to our spouse is it "sin" to separate and refuse thus making the spouse more likely to sin when he attempts to obtain sex from another source?

 

I thought the sin was in the remarrying or having sex with anyone except a living first husband. Thus the largest Christian sect allows separation and/or divorce and a celibate life. Or they jump through hoops to try to prove you were never "really married" in the first place, but since you thought that you were really married at the time the sex engaged then was not sin. Meanwhile to various degrees the rest of the Christian world will point to reasons for divorce, even if God hates it. God hates a lot of other stuff we do and we move on with life afterwards.

[irc333]

 

 

You are talking about 2 different things now: living together before marriage and having sex before marriage.

 

We yet bring on entirely different conversation / thread altogether. We're getting to the point of hair splitting now. Every one I've ever known who have lived together had also been sexually active. Mostly for the common reason for ensuring compatibility