If someone has a crush on you?

[spiderowl]

Inspired by another thread on here, is there any foolproof way to know if someone has a crush on you, especially if they are avoiding you because they have? It would seem to be such a shame to have such a misunderstanding.

 

If someone had a crush on me (well, yeah, it's just about possible I suppose, in my dreams), I would really like to know. I'd hate to think they were avoiding me because of it.

 

Having said the above, I confess I do it myself - avoid those I have a crush on. I tend to figure they won't be interested, or that my crush would be glaringly obvious to them and it would show on my face and in every possible gesture and be embarassing. I therefore tend to cut them off and almost pretend they are not in the room. Stupid, I know!

Edited August 13, 2014 by spiderowl

[carhill]

Ha, I remember, long ago, this dental technician I had an instinct about her having a crush on me. It's odd, but she always started sneezing whenever we interacted. Maybe she was allergic! However, knowing what I do about nose hair erections, it occurred that, due to that and her behaviors, something might have been up. But, as normal, hello, wedding band on her!

 

I don't recall ever avoiding someone I had a crush on. If I could determine that they were single, I'd ask them out on a date. Prior, I didn't determine that first, and I ended up in a milieu with a married woman, which I recommend against!

[Darren2013]

Inspired by another thread on here, is there any foolproof way to know if someone has a crush on you, especially if they are avoiding you because they have? It would seem to be such a shame to have such a misunderstanding.

 

If someone had a crush on me (well, yeah, it's just about possible I suppose, in my dreams), I would really like to know. I'd hate to think they were avoiding me because of it.

 

Having said the above, I confess I do it myself - avoid those I have a crush on. I tend to figure they won't be interested, or that my crush would be glaringly obvious to them and it would show on my face and in every possible gesture and be embarassing. I therefore tend to cut them off and almost pretend they are not in the room. Stupid, I know!

 

 

 

Yes avoiding someone by overdoing it will raise suspicions that you are trying too hard to hide something.

 

I do not claim to be an expert on how to best hide my feelings for someone as I am in the process of improvising some things. I try to keep as normal of behavior as possible so as not to raise suspicions.

 

I wish I did not have these feelings for this coworker. I also don't want her to find out. Looking at her for too long would give off signals but so would looking away from her too soon when she walks into the room.

[Standard-Fare]

Unless someone's a master of mind f*ckery, you'll probably see some small clues that they've got a crush.

 

If you're in a room with other people, do you feel their attention focused on you? When you look up, do you catch them looking at you? Do they make unnecessary attempts at small talk? Do they seem to make excuses to be closer with you or spend time with you?

 

It's easier to detect when the crush is mutual. At a certain point it becomes pretty obvious when two people have a pull toward each other. It can be really subtle at first, but eventually there will be eye contact, subtle touches, awkward attempts at flirting and joking...

[spiderowl]

Not noticed anything recently. I can really be quite distant until I trust a guy and I'm attracted (the two rarely go together). A guy I know does join in at some point in the evening whenever we are in the same place. I know he likes me and he's interesting to talk to but I'm not physically attracted to him and he's a bit too assertive in some ways. One of my male friends feels really put out by him and it's a difficult situation to handle as he just tends to edge his way into a conversation.

[you_can_not_see_me]

Not noticed anything recently. I can really be quite distant until I trust a guy and I'm attracted (the two rarely go together). A guy I know does join in at some point in the evening whenever we are in the same place. I know he likes me and he's interesting to talk to but I'm not physically attracted to him and he's a bit too assertive in some ways. One of my male friends feels really put out by him and it's a difficult situation to handle as he just tends to edge his way into a conversation.

lol, The guy you describe sounds a lot like me and if your location wasn't off I d think you were talking about me.

 

I have to ask though, how do you know the guy like you?

 

I think difficult thing for guys like the one you describe including myself is that on one hand we think that we should be more assertive and try to wedge ourselves in, cause you know that what people say guys got to do, but on the other hand there is the fear of harassing and annoying a girl who is not interested and because of that a guy can act seemingly contradictory.

[preraph]

All this mystery could be solved by simply being an open friendly person who talks to everyone, thus making him/her self accessible for anyone who wanted to talk back. It's no good reserving your friendliness and shining it on The Chosen One, leaving them squirming like a bug under a magnifying glass. If you're seen being friendly to the world at large, it will be much easier for even a novice or shy person to think they can risk talking to you since you're nice to everyone.

[spiderowl]

lol, The guy you describe sounds a lot like me and if your location wasn't off I d think you were talking about me.

 

I have to ask though, how do you know the guy like you?

 

I think difficult thing for guys like the one you describe including myself is that on one hand we think that we should be more assertive and try to wedge ourselves in, cause you know that what people say guys got to do, but on the other hand there is the fear of harassing and annoying a girl who is not interested and because of that a guy can act seemingly contradictory.

 

Well, he has said so and had tried to steal a kiss a few times. I see him as a friend but someone I am very fond of, so it's difficult.

 

I think rather than inserting oneself into a situation where there are others, it might be best to create times alone with the woman you like. Not easy I know.

[spiderowl]

All this mystery could be solved by simply being an open friendly person who talks to everyone, thus making him/her self accessible for anyone who wanted to talk back. It's no good reserving your friendliness and shining it on The Chosen One, leaving them squirming like a bug under a magnifying glass. If you're seen being friendly to the world at large, it will be much easier for even a novice or shy person to think they can risk talking to you since you're nice to everyone.

 

This is very true and perceptive, but if you are nice to everyone and most people come up to talk to you, then how do you know if one of them has more than a friendly interest, especially if they are shy?

[preraph]

^ because they want to spend more time with you and begin to act flirty or ask you out. You get to know them and then things either develop or they don't. Plus if you're talking to everyone, that may include friends of theirs who may spill the beans.