D.Mc. Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 8 months- 3 sites - two meetings - 0 dates (my definition of a date is we got together for something more than a quick coffee or a drink). I have had: $ scam artist; one of the meets was with a man who used an over 10 y.o. pic & was nothing like photo; attempts to "sext" me (several times); 2-3 emails back & forth on OLD site & then no more responses; given email & gotten advertisements for whatever that I didn't get BEFORE giving the man the email address AND he never sent another message to me after getting my email; avg. 1 message per week (combined sites) from males who have all my deal breakers. POF has listing of 20 men I've messaged & no response ever received back. OKC shows who visited me: no one I would have messaged on my own. Mingle 2: worst site ever - no way to screen for local zip code/appears more like a "hook up" site. All are free sites. My deal breakers: race/kids/socioeconomic factors/height/location (I'm not a gold digger & ignore profiles with upscale interests as I do not move in those circles) & I don't drive. Live in suburbs but prefer NYC since I don't drive. Over 45 & look younger (told by men). Not overweight (single digit clothes size in US). I could go on but you get it: to the LS men who are complaining about OLD, the women are not having much fun either.
Mirages Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I see. It would seem that NYC area would be the easiest location to be specific and still get a dozen. Try it out in cow country. Sorry to hear. Would it be the location specifier, since you don't drive, i.e. what sort of location radius are you specifying?
Author D.Mc. Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 Hi Mirages, I think if I lived in "cow country" I would have learned to drive & gotten a car. Growing up inner city, & NYC there was always a train or bus to take me to where I wanted to go, though now in the suburbs of NY it's much harder with the commuter train. My profile specifies that since I don't drive I can't meet or date anywhere public transportation doesn't go. That turns off a lot of men in Westchester county where men "bromance" their cars & a lot of men in the outer boroughs are turned off by Manhattan in general as a meeting location. I would never ask a man to drive out of his way just to meet me, nor would I travel over an hour to meet them, so it's totally unrealistic to respond or message anyone from N.J. or Ct. much less L.I. or even upstate NY. I ignore a lot of handsome men on OLD b/c they don't live or work geographically close to me. In the beginning I rejected some messages with the response that we are geographically incompatible, before I realized that if they had read my profile they wouldn't have sent me a message...same for the height requirement, now I just hit delete...
Mirages Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Ah, yes, in cultures other than NYC, some people begin to sterotype non car owners as: DUI, eplilleptic no-license, not citizen, ultra thrifty, or environmental activist. Of course manysolid people in NYC are car-less, I am fine with that, but there is an unwritten assumption elsewhere. Get a ten year old simple car, eh?
ascendotum Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Sorry you are having a sucky time with OLD especially the scammy ones. Seriously what pathetic a person trolls dating sites just to get email addresses for spam. I think what you are going through is just the flip side of what guys go through on OLD in their 20-30s. If you were 25 or 35 on OLD I'm sure you would be having a great time (for fun + serious relationship if expectations are reasonable). I'd rather be a hit with online dating in my 20s & 30s and less so in my 40s & 50s than the other way around. I don't deny it will be harder for women when they get older but until then its good...well if they can filter the players & liars out. No offense meant.
Author D.Mc. Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 @ascendotum: Thanks (I think). Everything except sitting down gets harder as you get older... The no car & no kids really don't just narrow my dating pool, they practically drain it. I'm a little flexible if profile says kids are out of the house (though any parent will tell you they never are at any age), but since I've never had kids or little relatives I babysat for...it's just not in my frame of reference, like nuclear science or car repair - I just don't have a clue & don't want to know either way.
sillyanswer Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 given email & gotten advertisements for whatever that I didn't get BEFORE giving the man the email address AND he never sent another message to me after getting my email; Hmm. I never gave out my email address before meeting someone. To the people who asked to email, I either told them that we could communicate via the dating site, or I told them this would be a good time to swap phone numbers and meet, or I just stopped writing to them (having figured out that it was just a scam to get my email address). Seems like you found this out the hard way. I could go on but you get it: to the LS men who are complaining about OLD, the women are not having much fun either. Sorry you're not having much luck on OLD, but thank you for posting this!
PegNosePete Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I would highly recommend you google POF's forums and make a post in the profile review forum. There are plenty of nice people there who can offer you advice on your profile to raise your success rates. You might think your photos and profile are good, but I can tell you that in almost every single case, the photos and profile are the cause of low success rates.
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