aemm Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Hello, I posted about a month ago about a friend who is now dating a guy I saw a few months back. We stopped talking for a while but started again. I told her I couldn't be her friend for betraying me. She told the guy about my insecurities and then he ended it with me. They both ignored me after. I told her I didn't trust her and she told me she can do whatever she wants. She said I ****ed it up with him and now it was her chance to be with him. She said I couldn't lay claim on a man I didn't sleep with. He then started sending me msgs tellng me to leave my friend alone because I was upsetting her. They both bullied me after. My friend has ptsd but I can't handle this. They tell me I should drop the subject and be happy for them. Am I overreacting? My other friends say these two are trying to make me feel bad to make themselves feel better. It's just how do you walk away from 14 yrs of friendship? She tells me I'm the one who let a guy ruin our friendship. My friend needs a man in her life and after only 3 week of being single from a year and a half relationship she jumps into another relationship. I can't deal with her.
preraph Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I think she's a very selfish friend. I don't care how long you've known her, if after 14 years she doesn't give a damn how bad she makes you feel, she's not a real friend. I think you need to stop speaking to both of them and block them forever and ever. Even if she comes crawling back, she will only do it to you again and this time worse because she knows you'll take it. She's manipulated him and is acting like you're the ogre and she's the innocent one when she's being a very disloyal jerk -- and he's a stupid*ss or he would see that and not help her do it. So please please just cut these two out of your life and spend time with good friends who wouldn't do this. Even if deep down you think part of it is your fault or whatever so you have a little tinge of guilt, you are toxic to each other now and need to move on and lose her - and him, of course. 1
Author aemm Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 I think she's a very selfish friend. I don't care how long you've known her, if after 14 years she doesn't give a damn how bad she makes you feel, she's not a real friend. I think you need to stop speaking to both of them and block them forever and ever. Even if she comes crawling back, she will only do it to you again and this time worse because she knows you'll take it. She's manipulated him and is acting like you're the ogre and she's the innocent one when she's being a very disloyal jerk -- and he's a stupid*ss or he would see that and not help her do it. So please please just cut these two out of your life and spend time with good friends who wouldn't do this. Even if deep down you think part of it is your fault or whatever so you have a little tinge of guilt, you are toxic to each other now and need to move on and lose her - and him, of course. You think I'm toxic too? They keep telling me to drop it and give them space.
SYLLPalmer Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 IMO this is just a jacked up painful situation and you need to remove yourself from it. Right or wrong you are the odd man out. You can't change the way they feel about you when you are this close. All you can do is inflame the situation. You are not attractive to either of them right now again for whatever reason. Turn your focus. 14 years does not a friendship make. You will be ok. 2
HappyLove Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 You should definitely drop it. You know what kind of "friend" she is so kick her to the curb and you shouldn't be still communicating with him either. None of those people are worth being in your life, be thankful you know this now! Your friend is the type to have an affair with your husband behind your back. Leave these two where you found them! You should NOT be still bringing this up to them. By all means vent here at LS but if I were you I'd wish them the best and move on with my life. The best revenge is living a happy life. You've given these two enough attention, they know how you feel. Time to move on and have nothing to do with them. As I said I'd be VERY thankful that I know what they are about and I'd only spend time with REAL friends. 1
Author aemm Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 You should definitely drop it. You know what kind of "friend" she is so kick her to the curb and you shouldn't be still communicating with him either. None of those people are worth being in your life, be thankful you know this now! Your friend is the type to have an affair with your husband behind your back. Leave these two where you found them! You should NOT be still bringing this up to them. By all means vent here at LS but if I were you I'd wish them the best and move on with my life. The best revenge is living a happy life. You've given these two enough attention, they know how you feel. Time to move on and have nothing to do with them. As I said I'd be VERY thankful that I know what they are about and I'd only spend time with REAL friends. They don't think what they did was wrong. They keep making me sound like I'm overreacting. My friends just say they are inconsiderate and only care about themselves. I feel bad since she has ptsd but she needs to figure out who she is. She always needs a man in her life.
HappyLove Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 They don't think what they did was wrong. They keep making me sound like I'm overreacting. My friends just say they are inconsiderate and only care about themselves. I feel bad since she has ptsd but she needs to figure out who she is. She always needs a man in her life. Of course they don't think what they did was wrong. Not your problem to convince them! Move on. Are you gonna stay friends with this girl so she can screw you over AGAIN?!
Author aemm Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 Of course they don't think what they did was wrong. Not your problem to convince them! Move on. Are you gonna stay friends with this girl so she can screw you over AGAIN?! I feel bad for her. She has ptsd. She has been losing herself for a while
preraph Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 You think I'm toxic too? They keep telling me to drop it and give them space. Only in the sense that assuming you two reunite, you will always have this thing you don't feel good about and have resentment. I had PTSD, thankfully not anymore, but for some time. It is NO excuse for this kind of behavior, I promise you. If anything it should make you more self-monitoring and make you weigh things before you do them because you want to self-protect.
Author aemm Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 (edited) Only in the sense that assuming you two reunite, you will always have this thing you don't feel good about and have resentment. I had PTSD, thankfully not anymore, but for some time. It is NO excuse for this kind of behavior, I promise you. If anything it should make you more self-monitoring and make you weigh things before you do them because you want to self-protect. She often has reckless behaviour. She was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. She often changes who she is to fit in with a guy. She is 27 and has had 18 bfs. She is never single for long. I actually think she might have a personality disorder. She actually once did crack to forget about a one night stand where the guy treated her poorly after. Edited August 13, 2014 by aemm
Assasda Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 You guys live in a small town with 1 guy in the population? Sounds like you just need to move on OP
Author aemm Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 You guys live in a small town with 1 guy in the population? Sounds like you just need to move on OP Yeah I do need to move on. I just don't know if I should continue being friends with her.
Author aemm Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 What kills me is this friend refused to talk to me about him while we were interested in each other. Yet had no problem telling him about my past with an emotionally abusive man. She always tells me to not tell a guy my insecurities too quickly and then she red flagged me.
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