How do people find a FWB?

[taiko]

You have to be actual friends first. It has happened two ways for me. One provided benefits in hopes to convince me that being more than just friends was worth the continuing prize. In the other cases it seemed like fun at the time

[MissBee]

I think FWB is often a misnomer...in that there is often an element of it not truly being friends.

 

But anyway I've had relationships like that and admittedly in two of the cases initially I settled for that versus actually wanting it. In the beginning I wanted more but convinced myself sex and hanging out without commitment was fine.

 

But in other instances it was exactly what I wanted. How it happened? It happened in the same way a dating relationship begins in most of the cases. There is flirting, often going out, then sex...and continue it. With my last FWB I knew him for years but we mostly texted and instant messages every now and again until one day we started messaging and had a long conversation that turned into a call and then speaking everyday and flirting etc and then eventually meeting up and hanging out then some time later having sex but I knew he wasn't a good match for me relationship-wise but I was attracted to him and vice-versa and I hadn't had sex in over a year...I trusted him so said why not. So that started our FWB relationship.

[Kid_Charlemange]

I'm a happy guy . Still, I'm sure it would be the same for pretty much every other guy if he played his cards right.

 

That's hard to say. It's not been my experience.

[Lipitor11]

I found my FWB on okcupid, initially we went out on a date, I was very attracted to him, by the 2nd date we hooked up. He said he didn't want a relationship, but we still continue to hook up. We do talk about stuff, but we don't hang out and he's never asked me to go out to dinner again....

[Sweetnothing]

I've had 2 FWB and it was the same scenario for each of them. We went on dates and had sex too early and once I got to know them I realized we weren't compatible in a relationship but the sex was fantastic.

 

I'm not the type of gal to fall in love with her f-buddy though. As long as the lines are drawn in the beginning it's no problem. I've seen many many posts on here which are from girls who say "OOPS! I accidentally fell in love!!" Because most can't handle a FWB or were using it as a way to segue into a relationship.

 

In order for a FWB situation to work you have to be just compatible enough to be friends, but not so much that the other person will fall in love.

 

For instance the first FWB I had a few years ago was HOT, sweet and soooo funny he would make me laugh till it hurt, but he was sooooooo arrogant. The sex was great and I loved him as a friend but I couldn't date someone so cocky!

 

The second FWB I had was even hotter than the first. He had the most amazing body which made the sex even better. We had a ton in common too. The problem was that he was too dang hyper all the time! He would never dream of having a lazy day in just cuddling on the couch. He barely even wanted to cuddle after sex, his mind was always going. I really liked that about him but I work hard and I'm a student so I love just having a lazy day once in a while.

 

Also, with both these guys I would like to add that neither one was at all heartbroken that I didn't want to date them. When we talked about being FWB both of them were like ok great! If they had more feelings for me I wouldn't have considered it.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Sweetnothing

[DazedandConfused8]

I found my FWB on okcupid, initially we went out on a date, I was very attracted to him, by the 2nd date we hooked up. He said he didn't want a relationship, but we still continue to hook up. We do talk about stuff, but we don't hang out and he's never asked me to go out to dinner again....

 

Do you call him a FWB, or is it unspoken?