lionheart153 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I found out my ex deleted me off her facebook today. It seems like she did it a few weeks ago because she was msging me not to long ago to ask me about some things. I answered but never carried the conversation beyond the question she asked We said that would try to be civil and hope to be friends one day. While I don't want her back by any means I still miss her and I had hoped that one day would be able to talk. She removing me seems immature as she said it would be when she dumped me back in january. I know I should just leave it but I want to msg her and ask her why she did what she said would be immature to do? She is still friends with my friends and will even like statues or updates even if I am tagged in them. I feel like all my 7 months of progess just slipped away as I am feeling hurt by her all over again
Zahara Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 This is actually a blessing for you. You kept a bandaid on for all this time and now it's been ripped off and it hurts. There was no progress because contact was keeping you from actually moving on. It masked the pain. You're confusing masking the pain with progress. You now have an open door to move forward and take this as a sign that you have to cut contact and move on. Imagine months from now, if she started posting about another guy. How do you think you would feel? It would send you hurtling back to square one. She is doing you a huge favor. Embrace it and this time, heal from this. 4
Author lionheart153 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 why do I have an urge to confront her? For a while she seemed to be trying to reach out to me but I turned it away. I moved to another city, and I'm kinda seeing another girl. Clearly this shows I'm not ready to move on. but despite all this all I want to do is call her and talk, and see if we can be friends. WhY??? like WTF?
Poppyolive Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Whatever reason she did it, you don't need to confront her. It only messes with your healing if you allow it. Breathe and let go. The fact you can still see her liking statuses means she only unfriended you. Not playing games or pettiness I suggest you go ahead and block her. My ex, I removed him from my Facebook because I didn't want go see any updates, comments etc. When I did this he was commenting more on my friends stuff....then he started harassing me and I finally just blocked him. I cannot be searched, any moves I make/he makes can not be seen in Facebook world by eachother. We no longer exist to one another. Why did I do it? For me, only me. Not to show him, for me to heal, take cafe and move on. She probably did this for her, do something for you?????
Author lionheart153 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 I guess I was naive to think that we would one day be friends.
dumbass2 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I guess I was naive to think that we would one day be friends. One day you might, but more likely you wont. Time has to pass. You both have to have the emotional feelings gone for each other in order for that to happen. My ex told me one time that men and women cannot just be friends. It is too bad that someone feels that way.
love1336x Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Its just Facebook. Move on. Keeping tabs on her isnt healthy and stops you from healing completely. Don't give her a reaction either to her deleting you. It can go either way she won't response or will simply say its her Facebook and she can do what she wants with it.
Zahara Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 why do I have an urge to confront her? For a while she seemed to be trying to reach out to me but I turned it away. I moved to another city, and I'm kinda seeing another girl. Clearly this shows I'm not ready to move on. but despite all this all I want to do is call her and talk, and see if we can be friends. WhY??? like WTF? You're probably panicking because she shut you out. Maybe this is the finality you've been avoiding but now it's here and you're distressed by it. So you want to contact to salvage, get that bandaid on again. And you can't be friends. It's an excuse dumpees hold on to because they want a foot in the door. You can't be friends with someone that causes you emotional pain. 2
Author lionheart153 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 I had blocked all her feeds and for the first 4 months after our break up I de-activated my FB all together. When I restarted my FB we had not talked for a long time and my NC was doing quite well. She, out of the blue called me to let me know that the offer of talking to her to move on was available if I needed it. At that time I had already started my process to move and was well on my way. I told her no thanks. She kept trying to talk with small things such as "oh you have mail to pick up" and one night, drunk called me. She told me she missed me and was sad but the conversation never amounted to anything more. When I hung up, she called back the next day but I never answered. After that we had no contact for another 2-3 months until she got a call about our tenant insurance. She msged me asking about on FB and I replied to be polite. She then asked how I was, and I told her fine and gave a small update and hoped to end the conversation there, but she replied telling me details of her life. I didn't answer and that was the last time we talked. Later I realized she had removed me as friend on FB Maybe it was for her? Maybe she just hates me now for whatever reason. She never deleted one of her previous ex bfs because there break up kinda the same, she said she fell out of love with him and they were friends before to. With us, it seems like she wasn't happy but never said she fell out of love. The only ex's she removed from FB was the one that was abusive, and the one that was a drug head. I guess her removing me was a shock because I thought we ended in better terms. Or at least what we had was special as we were engaged and the longest relationship for either of us. I do admit that a lot of friends have been tagging me in photos of me partying and stuff. Maybe it was to much for her. I'm still a bit sad she did this though. Maybe I needed it, but I have not felt depressed about her in what feels like a very long time, things are going well now and I seem to be much more confident when it comes to meeting new people and dating, in fact I've never been in a position like I am now where multiple girls are interested in me. So why does this still bother me? Why am I still upset about this?
learning_slowly Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 You're trying to find any reason to keep the relationship alive, so you think confronting will make a difference. Usually this leads to fights and makes you angrier. Maybe you could deal with being friends, but as you have an urge to confront, it seems unlikely. Best to understand the relationship is dead. Grieve and then start putting positive steps to improve your life whether you have a partner or not. A better fit usually turns up by chance. 1
me85 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 (edited) You're just like my ex. "I don't want her back but I'm bothered that she deleted me from FB" It's just your ego man. What she told you in January matters not, now. I get it because you're the dumpee (as I am I.) & you're just venting. I understand but she's doing you a favor. I deleted & blocked my ex back in January. He made a fuss about it a few months later & so I unblocked him so he'd shut up about it but then I could see his profile pic on my page for some stupid reason and saw he made his profile pic of him kissing his new gf on the forehead and her smiling so big. It hurt me so much and I spent the entire night in tears. I immediately blocked him again and he's been blocked every since and will always be. Do you really want to see what she's up to?? I promise you, you don't. Edited August 13, 2014 by me85
Author lionheart153 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 Well I did end up seeing a bit, until she removed me. And it did not feel well. This whole issue has been ruining my day. And I think that it has so easily effected me is what makes me that much more upset with this because I feel like I have failed. Like I mentioned, I haven't felt depressed over my ex for what feels like a long time. and yet, I am now. I suppose it could be my ego. I guess if anyone were to have the right to remove one another it would be me, because she hurt me so bad and she was very unreasonable during the break up.
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