rosyfuture Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Hi, this is my first posted question after being a long-time lurker. I am 41, and met a man via OLD, 42. I have been on many many first dates, a lot of seconds, and a few thirds. I never clicked with most of them, until this man. We had an immediate connection, he was very open and transparent. I was guarded at first, but after 3 dates, allowed my feelings to open. We kissed but nothing further. I had asked him on our first date if his heart was free and clear to meet someone special. He said it was but mentioned the last girl he dated. They were still good friends. Red flag, I tucked it away for now. After our third date he told her about me. Apparently she was surprised and asked all sorts of questions. She said he went behind her back, even though they had agreed to be friends. He had assured me they were not intimate. So now he has told me that this is not a good time to begin things with me, although he would hopefully like to in the future. So my question....should I hold my breath?
Zahara Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 No, you should not hold your breath. Keep dating and meeting other people. You've been on 3 dates -- you don't come to a standstill over that. I have to question this man's honesty. We always want to believe what people tell us but sometimes there's probably another side of the story that you do not know about.
Mrin Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Nope. Move along. The dude won't be datable for quite a while. Honestly? He mentioned you to her to provoke a reaction and make her jealous. Seemed to have worked. 2
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Another vote for move along. He's a grown man. Give him the option to come back & if you are free then, so be it but don't wait around. 2
preraph Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I'm sorry you got lied to and led on. That man hasn't ended his other relationship, no matter what he says. If they were ever broken up at all is dubious, but either way, he's still very involved with her and she is getting priority. Don't stay in contact either. If he wants to show up a year from now truly a single man, he can find you. But I wouldn't trust a guy who is out there dating when he has a woman already. 1
Assasda Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I do think that he said that to provoke some kinda jealousness in you, but I think you should go out with him and feel him out some more. He could just be someone that tells everything . I say go out with him tentatively to have fun, but stay a little guarded
Dork Vader Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Move on at best he's playing games and trying to make you jealous with is childish and immature. Never mind the fact that no one ever wins the dating game. The ball will go back and forth until one of you gets fed up and hates the other. That said you are likely his second option. All that said just move on.
Author rosyfuture Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 I dont know how to put "update" in the thread title... I heard back from him. He said he is going to remain loyal to her, as friends, since he doesnt want to lose her friendship. So he will let her manipulate his life? How sad. I was led on and told him so. He apologized. He is such a weak man. Sigh.
Zahara Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I dont know how to put "update" in the thread title... I heard back from him. He said he is going to remain loyal to her, as friends, since he doesnt want to lose her friendship. So he will let her manipulate his life? How sad. I was led on and told him so. He apologized. He is such a weak man. Sigh. Nah, I think he's been dating her and that they are in a relationship. He's allowed to date and pursue romantic relationships with other women while maintaining a "friendship" with her. Dumbest thing I ever heard.
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