GTO06 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Hey guys, You know I was just thinking about how long it has been since I felt a real connection or "love struck" feeling, or what ever you want to call it, with a woman. Even though I'm 29, I haven't done any dating at all, ever, until this last year, but even though I'm physically attracted to lots of women, I haven't really got that "super attraction" feeling for a long time. If fact, the last time I remember getting that feeling is back in school. There was this one girl and I that shared this crazy unspoken attraction to one another that lasted all through middle school and high school, 6 years! I don't think we ever spoke more than a sentance worth to eachother ever, but there was some unexplainable attraction that existed between us that I haven't felt with anyone since. There have been a couple women that I have felt a similar attraction to in my adult life, but never to the extreme level as that first one. So, was that first time just one of those silly childish "first love" feelings, or is it possible to get that feeling again as an adult? If so, how rare is that kind of feeling? I would love to hear your experiences and how often it has happened to you.
Keenly Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I've only felt it like 4 times in my entire life.
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I don't think they are "real" at all. That initial chemistry is all about lust & hormones, nothing more. While that is important, it's not a substitute for a genuine connection which takes time to build. 1
Mrin Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 4 times in my whole life as well. I'm 42 thought I was married for 12 years so was out of "circulation" so to say. Over the past two years I've probably dated over 20 women if you define "dating" as going out on two or more dates. During that period I found it twice. One was almost exclusively sexual though it did run deeper than that. The other, well, heh. We'll see how that turns out but so far the sky is the limit and I would have to say, the lovestrucked-ness of her outmeasures all of the others combined. Pretty much sure I'll need to take a long hiatus from dating if this relationship ever ends... ha! 1
Author GTO06 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 I don't think they are "real" at all. That initial chemistry is all about lust & hormones, nothing more. While that is important, it's not a substitute for a genuine connection which takes time to build. I don't think that was it actually. It wasn't a sexual attraction thing at all. It was something else; I just can't quite explain it.
Mrin Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I don't think they are "real" at all. That initial chemistry is all about lust & hormones, nothing more. While that is important, it's not a substitute for a genuine connection which takes time to build. Normally I would agree with you. In fact I've written several journal entries about pheromones, sexual tension, mental stimulation. But the older I get the more I find I am inclined I willing to believe in stuff I can see or touch or even comprehend. I've come to believe in a person's energy and how it interacts and intertwines with another's. And I think that energy dynamic is what often fuels this lovestrucked-ness. I do think that sometimes these connections are real. They defy logic for sure. But still real. Does that make sense?
Author GTO06 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 I've only felt it like 4 times in my entire life. 4 times in my whole life as well. I'm 42 thought I was married for 12 years so was out of "circulation" so to say. Over the past two years I've probably dated over 20 women if you define "dating" as going out on two or more dates. During that period I found it twice. One was almost exclusively sexual though it did run deeper than that. The other, well, heh. We'll see how that turns out but so far the sky is the limit and I would have to say, the lovestrucked-ness of her outmeasures all of the others combined. Pretty much sure I'll need to take a long hiatus from dating if this relationship ever ends... ha! That's good to know it can happen again as an adult; it was a good feeling for sure Guess I'll just have to keep looking.
Mrin Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 That's good to know it can happen again as an adult; it was a good feeling for sure Guess I'll just have to keep looking. Amen brother! And if my experience is any indication, they get better as you get older. Maybe it is because you know how rare they are and do a better job enjoying them or fanning the ember. Or maybe it is because you are more mature and "fully formed" and thus can connect on more levels. Anyhow, keep on looking!
Author GTO06 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 Amen brother! And if my experience is any indication, they get better as you get older. Maybe it is because you know how rare they are and do a better job enjoying them or fanning the ember. Or maybe it is because you are more mature and "fully formed" and thus can connect on more levels. Anyhow, keep on looking! Yea, I would love to get that full feeling again as an adult; that would be awesome. I guess it is just pretty rare then; glad I'm not alone! I got a couple more dates lined up for this week, so I'll just keep digging then Thanks
Dork Vader Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 In my experience they are very very rare. I've met one woman who I connected with instantly. It was odd as I thought she was sort of cute when I got her number. I was really only interested in something casual. But when I picked her up for the first date i thought she was the most beautiful woman I met. As soon as we sat down for dinner the sparks started to fly. It was instant and deep. I could not hold back and kissed her when I dropped her off.. The kiss just flowed in a way no other kiss has flowed before. We broke up for various reasons. In part because of my ocd and in part because of she was only 19 and not ready for the relationship I wanted. This was over 7 years ago. I've been unable to find a connection remotely close to what I had with her..
central Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I've experienced a few of these, most recently when I got back in the dating scene. However, based on the number of contacts I had and the number of meets/dates, less than 1% generated that connection (and it's not lust or love, but a deep understanding and acceptance). That doesn't always tanslate into a relationship though, as other factors are necessary for that.
Author GTO06 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 (edited) In my experience they are very very rare. I've met one woman who I connected with instantly. It was odd as I thought she was sort of cute when I got her number. I was really only interested in something casual. But when I picked her up for the first date i thought she was the most beautiful woman I met. As soon as we sat down for dinner the sparks started to fly. It was instant and deep. I could not hold back and kissed her when I dropped her off.. The kiss just flowed in a way no other kiss has flowed before. We broke up for various reasons. In part because of my ocd and in part because of she was only 19 and not ready for the relationship I wanted. This was over 7 years ago. I've been unable to find a connection remotely close to what I had with her.. Yea, mine was 11 years ago and haven't found anything like it yet, but then again I haven't really been looking until recently. I didn't pursue that first relationship due to I knew it would have ended up getting me stuck in that small town I was raised in; where she still lives today. Ever notice how opportunities never seem to arise when you want them to, lol. The other two women that I had a similar connection with were already involved unfortunately. One was married and the other was engaged Edited August 12, 2014 by GTO06
longjohn Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I'm in my early 30's and only had this 3 times in my life. While they are good while they lasted, intense and without a doubt stick out in my mind. I've yet to find one and actually hang on to it. All three failed for various reasons. I'm sure if I keep searching number 4 is out there waiting to be found.
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