Boymeetsgirl Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Ok, so I've come to the decision that I'm going to temporarily deactivate my fb account. Main reason is so I can heal easier from my breakup. Second is so my ex doesn't have instant access to me. I don't want to delete my ex as I think it's slightly childish. I have become quite addicted to fb lately and feel going cold turkey would really help. But I need some info from others who have deactivated their account before. Do pictures that I've uploaded that have other people tagged in them disappear from their 'photo's of me' section? I can't find any info on this. I don't want all the pics I've uploaded to disappear from my family's profiles. Almost all of my sisters pics of her are from what I've uploaded. She would only have a couple of pics left if it did. 1
Philosoraptor Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Yes, your uploaded photos will disappear until you reactivate. Do delete her, then deactivate. The last thing you want is to finally reactivate then get hit with a relapse of a picture of her kissing another guy as the first thing in your feed. 1
PegNosePete Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Just block your ex. Problem solved. Or if you want to cure your facebook addiction, just change your password to a random 20 character string. Remember to turn off all e-mail notifications first. Then you won't be able to log in even if you want to. When you decide you can handle using it in moderation, click the forgotten password link.
music_and_poetry Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I also decided not to take him off of Facebook. I just muted his notifications and have been pretending he's dead! So far, so good. One thing that really helped me was distance so I commend you for deactivating it. I didn't go that route. I just took two whole weeks away without logging in. Gave me some much needed clarity and head space and I'm sure this will do wonders for your healing as well!
shoegal4 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 boymeetsgirl - I deactivated my account for a little over a month after my breakup. I would delete your ex off facebook. It's not childish. It's necessary. Don't feel badly about it. Philo is right - the last thing you want is her showing up in your newsfeed when you log back in. And was she the one who ended the relationship? Let her wonder what you're up to. Delete her and then deactivate yourself. Breathe and reboot for a while. It feels really good. 2
Zeurich Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 If you lost your girl friend- Deactivating FB is running away from the matter. Stand on your feet and face it. There is no temporary deactivation in FB you temporary disable it if you deactivate you will loose everything and that cannot retrieve any more. If you want a break from FB just remove the connection to your phone. Then you have no bond with it.
Zeurich Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 One thing that really helped me was distance so I commend you for deactivating it. I didn't go that route. I just took two whole weeks away without logging in. Gave me some much needed clarity and head space and I'm sure this will do wonders for your healing as well! I truly agree with you!
Author Boymeetsgirl Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 boymeetsgirl - I deactivated my account for a little over a month after my breakup. I would delete your ex off facebook. It's not childish. It's necessary. Don't feel badly about it. Philo is right - the last thing you want is her showing up in your newsfeed when you log back in. I've hidden her from my news feed 'un followed' so I don't see any updates unless I click on her profile. Do you know anything about my question regarding photos I've uploaded that are on my friends and families profiles as I've tagged them. Will they disappear? Thank you all for helping me out
SoThatHappened Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I have become quite addicted to fb lately and feel going cold turkey would really help. Getting off of Facebook is probably one of the best things you can do in your life in general, regardless of an ex. Trust me
shoegal4 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Getting off of Facebook is probably one of the best things you can do in your life in general, regardless of an ex. Trust me LOL TRUTH! and boymeetsgirl - once you deactivate your Facebook, everything linked to your Facebook is gone. Photos, tagged statuses, events - everything. You basically vanish from the Facebook world but it all comes back once you reactivate. 1
Elle1975 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Deleting your ex isn't childish at all. It's just moving on. Keeping your ex on your list looks like you got something to prove, like showing that you're "that strong", when really you don't have anything to prove. You owe nothing. Deleting the ex sends the clear message that "you wanted out of my life, there it goes.. you're out." I have had an ex texting me recently. Yesterday, he sent me a fb friend request. I ignored it all. He's an ex, why would I keep him around? I mean at some point I will meet someone. I don't see it as beneficial to keep that guy around. That would send the wrong kind of message to the new guy. I have zero interest in being friend with an ex. Don't matter who did the dumping. 2
Hoosfoos Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I've hidden her from my news feed 'un followed' so I don't see any updates unless I click on her profile. Be careful about using the FB app on your phone. Even though I unfollowed my ex, the app did not go by the same settings. Posts of my ex kept popping up and I eventually had to uninstall it.
me85 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Instead of deactivating your account why not just block her? When you block someone on FB they no longer exist to you on there and you don't exist to them either. It's sad that people hurt people so much that they make a person not even want to be on a social network which they used to find as silly fun and a great way to pass the time. I hated FB for a while after my BU but then I came to my senses and thought rationally...it was my ex hurting me on FB not FB hurting me on FB. I decided to take back the power by blocking him and not letting him affect my life that way. There was no way I was going to let him have that kind of control over me.
oracle Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I got rid of facebook years ago. Biggest ego driven waste of time. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 ^^ I never even created an account on that garbage site. IMO - It's mostly for narcissists and attention whores (like my ex)!!! 2
Simon Phoenix Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Facebook is fine. I think you should just block her, especially if you have mutual friends and updates about her will filter through to your news feed. I don't really get why you think it's childish to do this -- it's more childish to refuse to do something because you are worried about how someone who dumped you perceives you. If you really want to deactivate it, fine, but I feel you are doing this because you are overly concerned about what you'll think if you block her instead. 2
emi Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 If you deactivate all the things in your profile, pictures you post will be gone
Simon Phoenix Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Facebook is fine. I think you should just block her, especially if you have mutual friends and updates about her will filter through to your news feed. I don't really get why you think it's childish to do this -- it's more childish to refuse to do something because you are worried about how someone who dumped you perceives you. If you really want to deactivate it, fine, but I feel you are doing this because you are overly concerned about what you'll think if you block her instead. She'll think, not you'll think.
Author Boymeetsgirl Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 I also decided not to take him off of Facebook. I just muted his notifications and have been pretending he's dead! So far, so good. One thing that really helped me was distance so I commend you for deactivating it. I didn't go that route. I just took two whole weeks away without logging in. Gave me some much needed clarity and head space and I'm sure this will do wonders for your healing as well! I've actually done this too now. I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that I am having a hard time over the BU still. So I've deleted my iphone app and I'm going cold turkey the hard way. I will see how long I last.
guest569 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 It's a good idea, I did the same thing after mine.. It was therapeutic to get rid of all the extra stress that Facebook brought me. Only thing was that I had to try really hard to reach out to my friends for support because they all rely on Facebook so much and thought I was dead. I did block him for a while but since unblocked him, not sure why.. I check up on him now and then but can't see anything. I guess I kinda hope he will check up on me, I dunno.. its pathetic. Ugh.
FortunateSon Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I am a huge proponent of blocking after a break up, blocking my ex is one of the best things I did to help heal and move on. I think it takes strength to block an ex, I don't see it as a sign of weakness at all. This person made the choice to no longer be in your life, to me it is weak and passive aggressive to try and maintain some form of connection via FB or what ever social media to give the other person the impression everything is alright? Why are you worried about what they think? Did they think about your feelings when they ended it?
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