helllokittty Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 So…I have known this guy from a dating app. Hanged out with him about 4 times now since then. I can’t tell if he’s into me or what so I kinda need help with that. The thing is he told me he has abandonment and trust issues. I myself have issues too so we shared our life stories, past experiences, insecurities etc. He runs his own company in my country and he’s very much into his work. He’s 11 years older than me and I thought it’s very nice to get to know someone who’s so motivated and successful in his career. I want to hear all about his story, what he did, how he got there. The first time we hanged out, I thought he was too old for me and he didn’t talk much and I thought the whole thing was awkward. But then on 2nd date, he opened up more and more about his life. He said it takes time for him to trust people and me sharing stories about my life made him trust me more. When we hanged out together, i feel like he’s really into me. He would kiss and hug me and look at me constantly. He always said I was cute really cute etc. Last time we hanged out, he kept asking if I liked him. He sometimes talked about taking a trip to get out of the city with me. Sometimes he talked about moving somewhere else with me (which I can’t tell if he’s just joking or what)To me it felt like he wanted someone to talk to and some emotional support. But then when I’m not hanging out with him, he barely texts me. In fact, I’m always the one texting him first. I try not to sound needy so I try not to text or call too much. Now when we’re not together, I get so insecure. I always feel like he doesn’t like me as much and I get scared for falling for this guy and after a while of not seeing each other, I tell myself to stop liking him before I get hurt (because he doesn’t really contact me). Just a basic background I also have a fear of abandonment but more intense (borderline). Now I just want some opinions. I want to hear from guys specifically. If he doesn’t call or text me, does that mean he’s not into me?? Why doesn’t he try to keep in touch when we r not together? to check in? Doesn’t he miss me?? or should I work on myself to be less needy and insecure? Thank you!!
sm2281 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Why dont you just ask him if he is into you or not? That is my advice.
Supernatural Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I think you answered your own question in your post. He has stated he thinks your cute, wants to get away with you, enjoys spending time with you, looks at you, is opening up. It sounds like he is quite in to you. He is 11 years older than you, career driven, successful. Men like this don't text all day and have girly chats. He will express himself through action when you two hangout. Your whole reason for this post is based on text messages. You sound like you're in your early twenties and maybe just don't have much going on in your life aside from this man. My advice, is to cool your jets and not text him as often. Relax and trust that you two will see each other again. Don't pester him or he'll just start ignoring you and you won't seem as great over time. Don't make yourself too available. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 He has less free time on his hands than you do. You can't confuse the fact that he has responsibilities which prevent him from doting on you 24/7 with lack of interest. Calm down. BTW, since you mentioned "your country" I'm guessing English isn't your 1st language. FWIW the phrase is you "hung out" with him not "hanged out" 1
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