openipy Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Hi everyone, I'm now 9 month into my current relationship and my boyfriend had never used the L word. He had told me he likes me and he really likes me many many times, but never used the L word! I feel like 9 month is long enough for one to know his/her feeling, and I know I can tell him I love him (but I am reluctant to say it first :X) sometimes when I wasn't trying to saying anything, he would ask "what?" and I would tell him I didn't make any noise. Then he'd proceed to say :" ah. I think you just want to tell me you love me so much because I'm so awesome.(wink)" and the same thing happened multiple times... Is he trying to do or hint somerthing? Or am I reading way too much into this? I'm moving away for graduate chool and we'll start a long distance relationship soon. I'm kind of feeling insecure about the relationship because of that and I really hope it could work out. Should I drop the L word before we start dating long distance or should I wait for him to say? P.s. If geographic location matters, he's from midwest US. He told me that the culture there was very different from where we are now. Some of his friends believe that earth is flat...
somedude81 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I feel like 9 month is long enough for one to know his/her feeling, and I know I can tell him I love him (but I am reluctant to say it first :X) Why are you reluctant to say it first? Shouldn't you know if you love him or not after 9 months? 3
Author openipy Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 Why are you reluctant to say it first? Shouldn't you know if you love him or not after 9 months? What if he isn't there yey ? :<
somedude81 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 What if he isn't there yey ? :< Now what if he feels the same thing about you? It sounds like the both of you are waiting for the other to say it first.
Author openipy Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 Now what if he feels the same thing about you? It sounds like the both of you are waiting for the other to say it first. Wooooops so should I just go ahead and say it then?
somedude81 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Wooooops so should I just go ahead and say it then? Now you get it I know you're scared. And my guess he is too. Honestly, if he's not in love with you by now then something is very wrong. 2
Author openipy Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 Now you get it I know you're scared. And my guess he is too. Honestly, if he's not in love with you by now then something is very wrong. Okay gotcha! Now I'm wondering, should I just sayit casually at dinner or something? Or should I say it more Seriosuly last time we were in a fight (...yep it was all my bad that time. I was being really ridiculous)and I told him I really like him... He was so happy and forgot that we were in a fight . But I don't know man. Yesterday he was like: honey I really need to try out this new deck I have and then keep playing online card game for hours lol. Not sure if he's getting really comfy with me or what lol
BC1980 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I think he should know if he loves you after 9 months. Have you talked about continuing the relationship long distance? Is he on board with that? Maybe he is hesitant with the idea of a LDR?
Author openipy Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 I think he should know if he loves you after 9 months. Have you talked about continuing the relationship long distance? Is he on board with that? Maybe he is hesitant with the idea of a LDR? As soon as I know for sure I'm leaving the area (april), he has been telling me he'll try to visit once a month. Even before we start the relationship he knew I won't be in his town for long.
torturedartist Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Hi everyone, I'm now 9 month into my current relationship and my boyfriend had never used the L word. He had told me he likes me and he really likes me many many times, but never used the L word! I feel like 9 month is long enough for one to know his/her feeling, and I know I can tell him I love him (but I am reluctant to say it first :X) sometimes when I wasn't trying to saying anything, he would ask "what?" and I would tell him I didn't make any noise. Then he'd proceed to say :" ah. I think you just want to tell me you love me so much because I'm so awesome.(wink)" and the same thing happened multiple times... Is he trying to do or hint somerthing? Or am I reading way too much into this? I'm moving away for graduate chool and we'll start a long distance relationship soon. I'm kind of feeling insecure about the relationship because of that and I really hope it could work out. Should I drop the L word before we start dating long distance or should I wait for him to say? P.s. If geographic location matters, he's from midwest US. He told me that the culture there was very different from where we are now. Some of his friends believe that earth is flat... What is love, but a four-letter word? And what are words, but symbols that represent ideas and concepts far greater and more meaningful than the combination of consonants and symbols that comprise them? Do you have to say you love someone before you can love them? Do you have to be told you're loved in order to know it? Is it always necessary to describe what's obvious, or what's developing? Or can you keep the commentary to a minimum and just let things happen, and know the words will come when the moment is right? Patience, Grasshoper! It sounds like you and your boyfriend are both young and afraid of stating your love for each other, because a declaration of love is a promise. When you love someone you have to do this and that and the other, and then there's all those things you can't do... By nature love is very demanding, and restrictive, and in many ways is like a contract between two people. Maybe you're not ready for the kind of commitment love requires? If not, don't sweat it. Wait until you are. Then, you won't have any choice but to state your feelings, and neither will the person you're with. If neither your nor your boyfriend are ready to come out and state your love for each other, it's because you're not at that point yet. Don't try to force it, or rush it. Be patient.
guest569 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Wow, my boyfriend dumped me after a 9 month relationship as he realised he wasn't falling in love with me. It bloody hurt after so long and I wont make that mistake again. I wont be with someone for so long that does not love me. Never again..
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