Girlfriend broke up with me for another guy, calls month later acting unsure of him ?

[Moeconfused]

so, just curious, how do you feel about this?

 

Devastated? Hurt? Curious? Do you want her back? Glad to be rid of her?

 

You don't give any sense of your state of mind, and for me, my reaction would depend on how I felt about the whole thing.

 

 

I clearly feel devastated, hurt, cheated, played and oblivious to her thinking. We had a rocky past before but I thought we were past that and especially since I just flew across country to be with her 2 days before she lwft me for him.

 

I can't say that I want her back because of how she went about this, ofcourse I still hope that we could have picked up where we left off but their will be to much emotional baggage at this point. I still love her and realize that means nothing to her at this point. I can't changebwho she is or what she's done . I just want to find clarity for the whole situation for myself mostly.

[Moeconfused]

Its been nearly 6 weeks at this point and other than than the couple days she was calling saying she was confused, uncertain and not over me, she hasnt really shown any signs of regret or wanting to contact me. I'm guessing things are working out for her new boyfriend and plus the fact that he moved to be with her already means that even if things start getting rocky she can't just walk away as easily bc he moved and only knows her in that state and will probably just stick to her new relationship. She's going to try and make it work regardless so she doesn't seem wrong for leaving me for him. I know our relationship has run its course and not keeping my hopes up of us getting back together and I'm try to move forward with my life and possibly forgive her in the future.

[carl777]

Not necessarily. My ex contacted me (wanted to get back together) nearly a year after dumping me for another guy.

[Peacock_Tail]

Because she wants to prove to herself that she made the right choice and she didn't make a mistake. Therefore, she's motivated to make it work. Even if she ends up miserable, she'll still put in the work because she doesn't want to be wrong.

 

 

But, even if she is making a mistake, that's a mistake she'll have to live with because you don't have to.

 

 

Ignore her, block her on social media and heal from this. Time to move on.

 

This is it. It happens a lot unfortunately, and in many situations. Really wise words from Chi, as usual.

 

Keep moving and don't look back. You are not her toy anymore and you deserve a healthy future.

[Moeconfused]

Honestly I should have seen it coming, it just hit me when I first met and went out with her she had actually been kinda dating/friends with benefits guy and she stopped talking to him bc he didn't want to be serious and she met me. people really nvr change.

[Miss Match]

She probably had her first real fight with her new BF and contacted you because she is too chicken s@#t to face that she did make a mistake by treating you that way.

 

you sound like a great guy with a great future. Girls will be lining up to date you. Take some time being single, allowing to heal from the pain your ex has caused you. She sounds very immature and selfish and you are better off without her.

 

Do not allow her to contact you again with her needy crap. It won't be the last time she gets in touch. She has shown her true colours. Distracted by something new and shiny made her treat a loyal, long term love like a item of clothing she no longer fits.

[Moeconfused]

Thank you Miss Match, I know better now than to ever answer her calls again if she ever does. I wonr be an emotional crutch. She seems perfectly content with the new love of her life and moved in together. I won't play her games.

[Strength in Healing]

Lmao you're about to be a doctor. You are instantly 10 leagues above her. Wave goodbye to this useless parasite and never look back. You've won at life.

[sly_fly1]

every woman does this at some time. they get bored and some prince charming comes along and offers her some fantasy life for a good bang. then after he gets what he wants his charms where off and she starts to wonder where her prince went . oh wait? she left him for this doosh bag. all you have to do is like everyone says. sit back, relax. and become the puppet master. flip it around. you become the dumper. and she will become the dumpee. put a smirk on your face. and snap outta the mental stuff. move on in your head, she this will scare her, not to say you 2 should get back together. but if you want some kind of results. be confident., confidents and no closeur will mess em up

[Moeconfused]

Lmao you're about to be a doctor. You are instantly 10 leagues above her. Wave goodbye to this useless parasite and never look back. You've won at life.

 

Thx a lot man this made me smile

[Polak]

I had a similar incident happen, ex left me for someone else and married the guy less than a year later. Felt kinda surreal at the time but now I'm glad it happened. To help me through it, I got great advice here on LS, some of the best advice I've ever had the fortune of receiving.

 

As someone else mentioned, you dodged a bullet on this one! It's also great to read that you understand what she did to you and you're motivated to move on! A lot of guys don't seem to think so rationally when this kind of thing happens, and they start making mistakes.

 

So, finish up med school (props for getting through it!) and you'll be in a fantastic position to find someone at your leisure who values you fully without playing games.

[Moeconfused]

I am in HARD no contact with her for about two weeks now more for myself to move forward after ex girlfriend of 4 yrs left me for a guy she met on vacation last month and they already say they love each other and moved in together.

 

Just want to find out other peoples experiences with going No contact and if it made your ex try and come back or if they even ever contacted you again. Regardless if you wanted them back or not or vice verse??

 

If so how long did it take?

[mightycpa]

13,818 days, and still not a peep. She's just being stubborn, that's all.

[Mary Oak]

Yes, my ex has reached out MANY times. ALWAYS something nice. But NEVER to reconcile.

[Chi townD]

Mine never did. But, it doesn't matter. It got me motivated to make massive positive changes in my life and I KNOW I'm better off without her.

[Zeurich]

I don't want my ex back, but my ex doing show offs to me most of the time to show that he has this car that car this much kids this and that, but NO me I have no time think about garbage.

[newmoon]

i was cheated on/dumped for someone else after almost 3 years together. went NC immediately and didn't look back. he surfaced last month, after 1 full year NC. he sent a text. i deleted it right away. if you keep up NC there will come a time when you hear from her and you won't even care.

[me85]

I've been left for someone else...twice...by the same person, my ex. We were together for 2 years and lived together during that time. He always contacts me but I don't care to respond. I honestly couldn't care less what happens to him in his life. God forgive me, but it's true. I have every right to feel that way about him after all he's done to me.

 

Every person's situation is different but the fact that our exes would do this this to us makes them, I don't even know what to call them, they're just selfish human beings.

 

4 years is a long time. You deserved better than that, I'm sure. I know I did.

[mrty]

I am in HARD no contact with her for about two weeks now more for myself to move forward after ex girlfriend of 4 yrs left me for a guy she met on vacation last month and they already say they love each other and moved in together.

 

Just want to find out other peoples experiences with going No contact and if it made your ex try and come back or if they even ever contacted you again. Regardless if you wanted them back or not or vice verse??

 

If so how long did it take?

 

I have no idea but would you really want someone who did that to you back.

[Chi townD]

You know what? I take that back. I did (sorta) run into her a couple years ago. My Ex cheated on me and when I confronted her about it, she blasted me. Told me I was a loser and happy to work dead end jobs. Never going to University....she was going with someone that had a future. And that was the last time I heard or saw from her again for years and years.

 

 

Couple of years ago during the winter. I had to get to a meeting across the city. I knew the meeting was going to be boring, so I stopped off at a Starbucks to get a coffee so I could keep awake. As I was getting out of my car and I looked towards the door and my Ex walked out. I saw her and she saw me. I knew it was her because we both had to do a double take (damn if she still didn't look good, was hoping she would have gained 200 pounds and lost her hair, evil I know...) But, as soon as she saw me...she just walked off. No "Hi" or nothing. That's okay though. I know what she saw and it wasn't the loser that was going nowhere in life. She saw me getting out of a Lexus wearing and expensive suit and topcoat. I was shocked and taken aback. But, I shrugged it off and went about my day. Although it did give me a little satisfaction having her see that she was wrong about me! Hee....hee....

[mightycpa]

OK, so, in all seriousness...

 

First one, never spoke with her again. I see her sometimes, and I avoid contact. I don't think she's seen me, but it is not inconceivable that she does what I do.

 

Second one, she dumped me after she found out about extensive cheating on my part. Did a revenge cheat first though. I deserved it. She kept in touch with my mother, and would pop up from time to time, wanted to be friends. I'd make plans, then stand her up. She finally took the hint, but still stayed in touch with my mom.

 

Third one, I told her I wasn't ready for marriage, she responded by cheating on me, I saw her the next day and most days after that for about six months, until the day I got over it. I haven't seen or heard from her since.

 

Fourth one, she would pop up every New Year's day to have sex. I was over her emotionally, so that was pretty cool, actually. I liked it. I'm not sure she was completely over me. She never got married, and I ran into her a few times after that. It was very cordial, but she had that demeanor that told me it was painful for her.

 

I had a FWB that I met in college. That lasted 15 years, and now she's a Fw/oB. I think she'd still do me if I approached it right.

 

I have more exes, but I broke up with the rest of them, so I don't think they qualify, strictly speaking. I never contacted any of them; if I broke up with somebody, I meant it. As the dumper, I don't hate them or avoid them, we just don't travel in same circles.

 

I think what you need to realize is that what you're wondering about will depend on your ex. She might be like any of my previous ones, you just don't know. You really shouldn't worry about that, other than to have a plan for what you're going to do. This plan may change, depending upon your emotional state. Just worry about you, and stop worrying about her, or what she thinks, or how she feels. You can't do that overnight, but you should definitely get into the habit about learning how to think of something else.

 

Also, I'd suggest you start running or exercising, and also set some achievable goals that require some effort on your part. That helps you think about the future, rather than the past, and it will keep you busy. Idle downtime is not your friend right now.

[hurts2death]

love it chi town d. just love the hole experience you describe, we r gonna be in the same boat soon though i m a benz fan

You know what? I take that back. I did (sorta) run into her a couple years ago. My Ex cheated on me and when I confronted her about it, she blasted me. Told me I was a loser and happy to work dead end jobs. Never going to University....she was going with someone that had a future. And that was the last time I heard or saw from her again for years and years.

 

 

Couple of years ago during the winter. I had to get to a meeting across the city. I knew the meeting was going to be boring, so I stopped off at a Starbucks to get a coffee so I could keep awake. As I was getting out of my car and I looked towards the door and my Ex walked out. I saw her and she saw me. I knew it was her because we both had to do a double take (damn if she still didn't look good, was hoping she would have gained 200 pounds and lost her hair, evil I know...) But, as soon as she saw me...she just walked off. No "Hi" or nothing. That's okay though. I know what she saw and it wasn't the loser that was going nowhere in life. She saw me getting out of a Lexus wearing and expensive suit and topcoat. I was shocked and taken aback. But, I shrugged it off and went about my day. Although it did give me a little satisfaction having her see that she was wrong about me! Hee....hee....

[mightycpa]

i m a benz fan

 

Completely off topic, but I'm restoring a 1998 SLK 230 with only 27K miles on it. Love that car because of the hardtop convertible, and it will never leave me.

[Moeconfused]

We were long distance because i'm in Med school. She left me 2 days right after I flew across country to be with her at her best friends wedding and she asked when i would propose to her because she feels times running out and getting older, she's 26. I said I need to finish med school first.

 

Anyway she left me 2 days later for a guy she just met on vacation and says their in "love" already and sees a more steady future with him and he moved to Florida from New York to be with her already, so their both moving extremely fast which is bat **** crazy to her says her family and friends. Hes a couple years older and has family money and now they live together and say their in "love".

 

She called 3 weeks after saying she was confused, not sure if she made right choice and she wasn't over me but tried to convince herself she was and hopes she wont regret this for the rest of her life but still with him, I haven't contacted her at all since than.

 

I know i could never take her back after this because i wouldn't respect myself if i did. I'm just in a huge state of confusion right now.

[mightycpa]

she asked when i would propose to her because she feels times running out and getting older, she's 26. I said I need to finish med school first.

 

Anyway she left me 2 days later for a guy she just met on vacation

 

Well, first, as a budding young medical professional, I'm sure you could have assured her that at 26, she has well over a decade left for reproduction.

 

More importantly, was the wedding a vacation trip too? I mean, it sounds like you fly in on Friday, the wedding happens on Saturday (probably) then on Sunday, there is a flurry of activity from the guests, especially if any have come from out of town. They check out and visit someone before they leave, or sometimes, they'll just leave. The newlyweds are gone, there's usually nothing to stick around for, unless it is to see old friends or go somewhere with a new beau.

 

It sounds like the question was a setup, to give her a rock-solid excuse to do something she already knew she was going to do. "Well, I asked him if he was ready to get married, and he said NO. So I left him." Then you got your pink slip, and maybe she did it because this way, she could do it in person, she could point to an excuse, and you were pretty much obligated to leave soon anyway.

 

Just sounds too convenient to me.

 

This could be the love of her life, or this could be the worst decision she's ever made. Hard to beat "stable" from a Doctor, but maybe Rich Guy does beat Doctor. Either way, you should count your lucky stars. Something tells me you're going to be pretty eligible real soon.