Questlove Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 My ex-girlfriend finished with me a few months ago. "Distance". We were in a LDR, she lived a couple hours away. We originally knew each other when she lived closer to home. No contact since. I accepted it for what it was and as painful and tough as it's been I've continued with my life and tried to be as happy as possible. No phonecalls. No texts. We haven't seen each other either. I kept her on Facebook, but I hid her from feed. After around a month of break up she began "liking" updates on my profile. I originally just presumed this was an accident. I then checked her profile and noticed she was posting emotional songs with lyrics that could easily be about us and cryptic quotes about missing people who are far away etc etc. These updates are less frequent but she still "likes" my posts (1 or 2 every couple of weeks). I have never returned her "likes" as I find it too weird and kind of embarrassing. Why is she doing this? What does she want from me? I am so embarrassed asking this question but I just need some sort of help in understanding her motive. I don't know if I want her back. I just want to know why she is behaving like this. Thanks for reading.
Standard-Fare Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Rid yourself of this type of confusion by blocking her on Facebook. That will sting for her, but it's best for you as you work to move on with your life. Analyzing her FB behavior is only going to set you back. How are you going to like it if she starts posting pics of herself with a new guy? Etc. etc. If she questions you about the blocking, explain that it's something you feel you have to do to move on. It sounds like she's the one who ended things with you, so you have every right to do this.
Author Questlove Posted August 11, 2014 Author Posted August 11, 2014 Thanks for reply. I don't want to delete her for a couple reasons. If I'm honest here's why. - I don't want her thinking I'm upset after this long. - In case she moves back this way and there is chance of reconciliation. - I want to appear strong and not weak. Having her on there does not bother me at all, I can look at her pictures without feeling emotional. I just want to understand her motive.
mammasita Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Thanks for reply. I don't want to delete her for a couple reasons. If I'm honest here's why. - I don't want her thinking I'm upset after this long. - In case she moves back this way and there is chance of reconciliation. - I want to appear strong and not weak. Having her on there does not bother me at all, I can look at her pictures without feeling emotional. I just want to understand her motive. Everybody has this same excuse. Trust me, everyone here has read what you just typed out in some form or another. The truth is who cares what she thinks......it has nothing to do with appearing strong or weak. Why the hell does it even matter......she's an ex for goodness sake, treat her as such. No matter what you do right now, if you're meant to be together again it will happen whether you freaking block her on social media or not. So just do it already because nobody knows what she is thinking or why. She might be crazy for all we know.
ElsaLetItGo Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 I was in a similar situation. I was in an LDR as well. I had kept my ex on Facebook, and about three days after we broke up, he posted some cryptic status about wanting to "eliminate certain desires" from his life and it was something he was "willing to forsake in the goal for love". A few hours later, he deleted it, but it drove me mad trying to figure out if he was indirectly trying to tell me something or not. Eventually, I ended up unfriending him because I was just overanalyzing everything he was doing. I regretted it initially, because I thought, "Well, now he's probably going to think I don't want to talk to him again", but if not being friends on social media prevents him from reaching out, that's his problem. There's honestly no sort of "motive". She "liked" some of your posts; there's nothing else to read into about it. You have to do what's best for you right now. I suggest unfriending her. If she has intentions of reconciliation, it will be clear and it will not matter if she is on your Facebook or not.
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