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Great first date. But...


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Posted
Okay. So I took a deep breathe and sent her a text. It reads... "I've been thinking of you. How's your mouth?"

 

Now I will see what the response will be, and I think that should give me an answer.

 

Dam. I messed up.

 

That text sounds funny as hell. Why did you leave out the ice cream. I thought you came up with a great idea. Oh well, hopefully she responds. We all make mistakes and learn from them. I'd also take Strength's advice and text immediately after a great date that you had a good time. It puts a smile on your dates face and let's them know where you stand, I've always appreciated an immediate text.

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Posted (edited)
That text sounds funny as hell. Why did you leave out the ice cream. I thought you came up with a great idea. Oh well, hopefully she responds. We all make mistakes and learn from them. I'd also take Strength's advice and text immediately after a great date that you had a good time. It puts a smile on your dates face and let's them know where you stand, I've always appreciated an immediate text.

 

Reading the text again and thinking about what we talked about, that text... ONCE AGAIN... seems sexual and could be interpreted as that.. "I've been thinking of you" "how's your mouth?" She could think I'm just thinking of blowjobs... hahaha

 

She did respond. At 10:57 I sent that text. She responded at 11:13 saying "Hellllo, still super swollen and super painful". 11:20 I said "When did you get them extracted" and she hasn't responded yet....

 

Maybe this whole conversation about me not biking her home and everything is just something we picked out which I COULD have done. Maybe her mouth just seriously hurts and she can't even think about romance/sex so she is putting everything off and I'm over analyzing everything. However, I am learning from all of you.

 

*Side note*

I've always thought it was more of the woman who is suppose to text immediately after the date? It seems needy if a guy is too eager so quickly, in my mind... I've been burned so many times being the caring and vulnerable dude.

Edited by Supernatural
Posted
Reading the text again and thinking about what we talked about, that text... ONCE AGAIN... seems sexual and could be interpreted as that.. "I've been thinking of you" "how's your mouth?" She could think I'm just thinking of blowjobs... hahaha

 

She did respond. At 10:57 I sent that text. She responded at 11:13 saying "Hellllo, still super swollen and super painful". 11:20 I said "When did you get them extracted" and she hasn't responded yet....

 

Maybe this whole conversation about me not biking her home and everything is just something we picked out which I COULD have done. Maybe her mouth just seriously hurts and she can't even think about romance/sex so she is putting everything off and I'm over analyzing everything. However, I am learning from all of you.

 

*Side note*

I've always thought it was more of the woman who is suppose to text immediately after the date? It seems needy if a guy is too eager so quickly, in my mind... I've been burned so many times being the caring and vulnerable dude.

You are entirely too concerned with appearances and appearing to be the one who cares the least and has the most power and control.

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Posted
You are entirely too concerned with appearances and appearing to be the one who cares the least and has the most power and control.

 

Then what should I do? I still haven't heard a response...

 

Should I text her and be straight up... "I like you. If you're not interested in seeing me again, can you just tell me? I'm confused."

Posted (edited)

This is an awful lot of analysis for one date!

 

Anyway OP, stop worrying about appearances. Call it out straight up.

 

"Hey, I had a great time with you the other night. Looking back at it now though, I really should have offered to bike you home....I apologize, it didn't occur to me until after you left."

 

"Anyway when you feel better, I would like to take you out on a proper date. What is your schedule like?"

 

You really have nothing to lose here.

 

As she has her wisdom teeth taken out and isn't much for talking, you can send a text. Send this tonight.

 

Whether it was really a faux pas not biking her home.....I don't know. I mean look, she did agree to meet you via bike at 11 pm, long after it got dark. So she has to be used to biking alone late at night. Whenever I meet most of my first dates somewhere, we are each responsible for our own trips home when the date is done. So I kind of agree w veggirl. There's a lot of grey and if a woman is into you she will tend to give you the benefit of the doubt. That she rode her bike instead of drove, and that almost all of the women are reacting so strongly does make me wonder how this girl is seeing it looking at it now.

Edited by Imajerk17
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Posted
This is an awful lot of analysis for one date!

 

Anyway OP, stop worrying about appearances. Call it out straight up.

 

"Hey, I had a great time with you the other night. Looking back at it now though, I really should have offered to bike you home....I apologize, it didn't occur to me until after you left."

 

"Anyway when you feel better, I would like to take you out on a proper date. What is your schedule like?"

 

You really have nothing to lose here.

 

As she has her wisdom teeth taken out and isn't much for talking, you can send a text. Send this tonight.

 

Whether it was really a faux pas not biking her home.....I don't know. I mean look, she did agree to meet you via bike at 11 pm, long after it got dark. So she has to be used to biking alone late at night. Whenever I meet most of my first dates somewhere, we are each responsible for our own trips home when the date is done. So I kind of agree w veggirl. I get the circumstances are a little different here though, and that almost all of the women are reacting so strongly does make me wonder how this girl is seeing it looking at it now.

 

This is good advice.

 

She hasn't responded to my text "when did you get them extracted" yet.. And it's been like 5 hours. Now I'm guessing the whole thing is just a lie.

 

If she doesn't respond to that text, then I think that's my answer as to where she stands; concerning me. If she does respond, I'll ask what her schedule looks like.

Posted (edited)
This is good advice.

 

She hasn't responded to my text "when did you get them extracted" yet.. And it's been like 5 hours. Now I'm guessing the whole thing is just a lie.

 

If she doesn't respond to that text, then I think that's my answer as to where she stands; concerning me. If she does respond, I'll ask what her schedule looks like.

 

 

Waiting if/until she responds to your "when did you get them extracted" text is NOT close to what I was advising.

 

In fact, I would say that a bigger problem is that you were trying too hard to "game" this. By trying to play it so cool, your overall follow-through (so far anyway) actually looks kind of weak. Maybe she is following your lead and trying to play it cool too (you never know). If you were more direct you would know where you and she stand.

 

My advise is actually this: Send the text(s) I suggested in the previous post, whether or not she gets back to you. It might actually save it for you.

Edited by Imajerk17
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Posted
Waiting if/until she responds to your "when did you get them extracted" text is NOT close to what I was advising.

 

In fact, I would say that a bigger problem is that you were trying too hard to "game" this. By trying to play it so cool, your overall follow-through (so far anyway) actually looks kind of weak. Maybe she is following your lead and trying to play it cool too (you never know). If you were more direct you would know where you and she stand.

 

My advise is actually this: Send the text(s) I suggested in the previous post, whether or not she gets back to you. It might actually save it for you.

 

Okay Detective. Let's break this down.

 

She may be following my lead on playing it cool... Or she likes me and doesn't want to seem super eager? Cause from her stand point, not this forums, I seem pretty cool and not over eager.

 

These are the choices of what I could do...

 

a) She may very well be in a world of pain and can't even think of dating stuff right now as she wants to be more focused when talking to me. And she doesn't know when she will be better, so she's playing it by day.

So, it's best to leave the choices up to her. Let her get in contact with me. She knows I'm thinking of her, because I said so. So... Let her text me when she is ready.

 

b) Send the texts you suggested and have her realize that I didn't do these things and give her a bunch of power, allowing her to hold ALL cards, making me look weak. She may have not even cared at all or realized that i didn't do these things. I could send the texts and have her be like... WTH, this guy seems needy... Ew.

 

*FACT*

If she wasn't interested she wouldn't have responded to any of my texts I have sent. Let alone, within a couple minutes of each; excluding the most previous. She wouldn't have answered this morning.

She would just let them go unanswered. Her texts still seem enthusiastic and interested.

This fact makes me hesitant to send the ones you suggested. As it leads me to believe I am just over thinking and over analyzing ALL of this.

 

To have a reminder... Here are her last 3 texts..

 

1. "Unfortunately I just got my wisdom teeths removed .. What's the exciting thing though?

2. "Ah that sounds awesome, but I'm in too much pain to move"

3. "Hellllo, still super swollen and super sore"

 

She has to be interested. She wouldn't have responded to me if she wasn't. The only thing that makes me wonder, is that she didn't ask me anything or care to keep convo going...

Posted

Supernatural, you are really, really over-analyzing this whole situation. It was one date, man. One date does not require this level of energy and analysis.

 

Dating should be something natural and not require this much thought and precision.

 

 

At this point, it's ballz against the wall so to speak. Call her up and ask her out on a date. Right now. I don't know where you live but if its a reasonable time of day, call her right this minute and ask her out. Don't think about anything. Don't analyze anything, don't wonder how you will look, don't wonder about power and don't worry about any dating rules. You make the rules tonight. Forget what everyone else thinks right and do what you have to do. It's that simple. This one woman won't ruin your future. Good luck.

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Posted
Supernatural, you are really, really over-analyzing this whole situation. It was one date, man. One date does not require this level of energy and analysis.

 

Dating should be something natural and not require this much thought and precision.

 

 

At this point, it's ballz against the wall so to speak. Call her up and ask her out on a date. Right now. I don't know where you live but if its a reasonable time of day, call her right this minute and ask her out. Don't think about anything. Don't analyze anything, don't wonder how you will look, don't wonder about power and don't worry about any dating rules. You make the rules tonight. Forget what everyone else thinks right and do what you have to do. It's that simple. This one woman won't ruin your future. Good luck.

 

I agree. But this situation is an interesting one. She has stated she is in pain, that's why I'm hesitant to ask her for plans after I already asked her once what she was doing...

Posted
I agree. But this situation is an interesting one. She has stated she is in pain, that's why I'm hesitant to ask her for plans after I already asked her once what she was doing...

 

 

Enough excuses and quantum analysis, Super. Call her now.

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Posted
Enough excuses and quantum analysis, Super. Call her now.

 

It's unlikely she will answer. Then I just look like a pest.

Posted

'How is your mouth' and 'when did you get them extracted?' are just plain awkward texts. Stop trying to make chit chat and send the text imajerk suggests.

 

If I got those texts in her situation, I probably wouldn't reply. It's like, why is this guy chatting me up now? What's his deal?

 

 

'How is your mouth?'. :eek: You had a fine text planned right before that, and blew it. If you think these texts are 'playing it cool', you're wrong.

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Posted
It's unlikely she will answer. Then I just look like a pest.

 

 

You are still thinking, Super. Stop thinking. You have to settle this one way or the other. Call.

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Posted
You are still thinking, Super. Stop thinking. You have to settle this one way or the other. Call.

 

Called. No answer. F**K me.

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Posted

Okay. So this is what I'm thinking....

 

"I really enjoyed our night together. I can take a hint that you don't want to pursue this. Have a great time traveling in South East Asia."

 

Delete contact. Cry. Move on.

Posted

Yes, just cry and move on. You'll get the next one.

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Posted
Cry and move on.

 

Text first, Or nothing?

Posted
Text first, Or nothing?

 

 

No. No more. This ends here. We have done too much already for a one dater.

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Posted

She probably wasn't ever that interested in you.

 

What are you aiming for here? Sounds like you just wanted sex since you asked her home on the first date. If she wasn't looking for that it might have affected things.

 

But then again, maybe she just isn't that into you! Move on man.

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Posted
She probably wasn't ever that interested in you.

 

What are you aiming for here? Sounds like you just wanted sex since you asked her home on the first date. If she wasn't looking for that it might have affected things.

 

But then again, maybe she just isn't that into you! Move on man.

 

I think she was... Or maybe is. I don't know if phoning her was the right move since she said she is in pain and can't talk. But whatever.

 

I didn't just want sex, but she may have seen it that way. But she's the one who said let's hangout late at night...

 

I'm chalking it up as a loss. I'm moving on, unless I hear from her at the end of the week. But I'm not going to text her.

Posted
I think she was... Or maybe is. I don't know if phoning her was the right move since she said she is in pain and can't talk. But whatever.

 

I didn't just want sex, but she may have seen it that way. But she's the one who said let's hangout late at night...

 

I'm chalking it up as a loss. I'm moving on, unless I hear from her at the end of the week. But I'm not going to text her.

 

 

It was the right move. You were really obsessing over this and it had to come to a conclusion. Now, either she will really see your persistence, appreciate and give you another shot or she will continue to ignore you. You now know that you have done every thing within reason to get her to go out with you again.

 

Now, you can always say "I could have done this or said that" but all of that is just really thinking too much about that. I should have not called because her mouth was sore or it was a Wednesday and the lights from heaven don't shine as bright on Wednesday and so on....There is no magic bullet here. There is not a specific phrase you can say that will be the key to open her up.

 

I again will emphasize that you can pull off a perfect date, man, and still get these results. You could have rode her home on your back and still be here right now making a similar thread. This is dating and often we just have to move on despite how great we thought things went. She really didn't deserve all of what she got here.

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Posted
It was the right move. You were really obsessing over this and it had to come to a conclusion. Now, either she will really see your persistence, appreciate and give you another shot or she will continue to ignore you. You now know that you have done every thing within reason to get her to go out with you again.

 

Now, you can always say "I could have done this or said that" but all of that is just really thinking too much about that. I should have not called because her mouth was sore or it was a Wednesday and the lights from heaven don't shine as bright on Wednesday and so on....There is no magic bullet here. There is not a specific phrase you can say that will be the key to open her up.

 

I again will emphasize that you can pull off a perfect date, man, and still get these results. You could have rode her home on your back and still be here right now making a similar thread. This is dating and often we just have to move on despite how great we thought things went. She really didn't deserve all of what she got here.

 

Word. You're right.

Posted
Called. No answer. F**K me.

 

ok her last text was: "Hellllo, still super swollen and super painful"

and what did you do?

you called her. :rolleyes:

 

why the hell you called her if she told you her mouth was super swollen and super painful? how do you think she could talk to you?

 

oh man you should just leave the ball in her court when you texted her about the extraction.. I am sure she would go back to you at some point.. maybe when she was feeling less rubbish? everybody on earth know that toothache is the worse! she was probably high on painkillers ( joke ) and not in the very right mood to have a conversation what do you think?

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