Need avdise whether this guy is shy or not interested

[Confused guest]

Hello,

 

Will keep it as short as possible. But I am having trying to decipher between a guy just being shy or just not interested what is the difference. I work in the same building as this guy we have never talked. I have been seeing him around for a while we will stare alot at each other. Sometimes our eyes will meet and just lock. A couple of times I have said hello once he just smiled a full smile and looked down, and another time he said hi how are you and choked on it. Then one time i just looked at him up and down and he freaked and looked away but then the next day i ran into him and he said hi how are you and said my name. And sometimes he just looks at me and says nothing or simply looks away.

 

My question is there interest here or is it because hes flattered that i am interested.

 

I need some insight here?

Thanks for any help

confused

[d'Arthez]

Definetely he is shy.

 

Interest is difficult to determine. He might not be interested, but it can also be the case that he is afraid of being rejected if he expresses an interest to get to know you better. Shy people often lack confidence to make their interest known. Sometimes they pine away for months, and even years and never act.

 

So it boils down to what do you want from this situation to develop? If you are interested in him, express it to him.

 

The worst that can happen is that he denies having an interest in you. Situation resolved, and you'll be looking for a potential partner elsewhere. If he has an interest in you, the situation is also resolved.

[confuesed guest]

Thanks for your input. But when it comes to this situation i am shy and will not take that chance. So since there might not be interest i will let it go and avoid him completely.

[confused guest]

Btw, hes confident with other people and people he knows. He has checked me out many times i.e by looking in my eyes doing a once over and looking back in my eyes and other similar situations. Thanks for your reply. But I am kinda of shy in these situations and will never take a risk, as he might not be interested and i can not handle rejection.

[d'Arthez]

confused guest, I know how hard it can be to handle rejection. It is hard for you, and it hard for him.

 

However your last posting suggests he is interested. Has he problems talking with other women? If not he is certainly interested in you.

 

I am no expert on shyness, but shyness is a fear of ruining things in conversation. So shyness is only a real issue in situations in which there is a lot at stake for a shy person. Which would be the case, when either of you approach each other.

 

Given the fact that men are worse interpreters of body language than women, you would practically have to come over to him with a sign: "Date me / Marry me", for him to be convinced you are really interested in him. Because he is shy, he will also fear that he will be rejected by you when he approaches you. So he wants to be 100% certain you are actually interested in him.

 

Furthermore, as it seems you both suffer from the same personal "problem", i.e. shyness, the both of you understand each other at that level, which would be great for the both of you.

[Conqueror224]

I'm with d'Arthez and a way to help you with your problem would be to have a friend help you guys start conversing and then your friend could leave so you two could get eachother to get to know eachother.