Requiem4Dreams Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 I've been thinking a lot about my ex lately, I try to put a brave face on when dealing with the outside world, but honestly I'm roiling inside. As I reflect back on the relationship and the small problems that were thrown in my face during it's last and final breath I began thinking of this woman I had loved so much. In the beginning and all the way till a week before it's end she was completely and madly in love with me. Though in hindsight I realize that she lied quite a bit, and was very capable of it as I didn't even realize there was an issue. While I understand that not all women cheat, and that statistically being left for another man while engaged is probably not extremely high, it still blindsided me that she was capable of this. Being with someone for 11 months, you would think that you knew this person. I guess my question is more of a statement. People can change, but to go from a loving woman that treated me incredibly, to a cold and absolute monster within the span of a day perplexes me. You begin to drive yourself insane thinking about when the lies started, or the detachment began. What part of the relationship was a lie, and which was real. Does a person corrupt that love they once held for you and nurture it into spite, or animosity or is this just the way of humanity? If I were to get into another relationship should I fear being broken up by receiving a letter in my mailbox each time? I guess I'm having a hard time with NC and can't seem to escape this depressive stage.
Philosoraptor Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Each person is an individual, and each individual makes their own choices. Find a way to accept that as a fact. It matters not when it started, but that it started. And because things happened you are where you are now. That's just how it stands. Sadly she cheated. All you can do is move on with your life and try to find happiness elsewhere.
johnson_j Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 I'm not sure that you ever really "know" someone. I've experienced when things get a little challenging, that's when their true colors show. And then when you see their true colors, it's easy to question whether anything was ever "real". Don't waste time trying to figure it out. I know I went through some hard time with my last ex, (shouldn't have been hard at all), and then I think of what my dad went through in his divorce and there is no comparison.
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