He went off the radar on me 3 weeks ago after a heated argument? Mixed signals?

[housearrest]

He had his mom call the cops on me to kick me out of their house after I refused because I wanted to talk to him. He was no where to be found for my rescue. I initially assumed everything was fine because the night before we eventually cooled off but that wasn't the case. So I call him a week later looking for some type of closure. He seems iffy but then tells me he is coming over to talk. I give him until 6 only to get stood up! Even though the whole day he was telling me he loves me and everything would be okay. He also mentioned some bs about "sometimes you have to kick the bird out of the nest." I decide to give up after getting stood up because I had someone drive me by his house that night and I saw his car was home.

 

I get a text from his mom a couple of days later asking me if I had seen him. After that the cops call letting me know he is missing. I don't hear from anyone after that so I decide to have a friend drive me by his house again so I could "pick up my stuff". Really, I just wanted to talk and see if he was gonna be home. (This was Friday night.) He ended up being home. I was being too chicken to get out and "get my stuff" so my friend gets out to do it for me. After that I decided to get out too. He looked a mess, lost a ton of weight, and I got the vibe from him that he was going through hell. He let me go in the house to look for my stuff. I noticed his wall was torn apart. Someone had also thrown out all my stuff. I'm guessing his mom. He gives me some cash for all my missing stuff and we end up talking for a bit. He tells me about how he broke his phone and his family is not letting him use the car because they think he is unstable. He also mentioned that he drove by my apartment and I was not there. He was telling me he is still in love and wants to be with me. I tell him that if he really did he would have found a way to contact me. He was trying to bring up excuses about not contacting me. I am afraid I pushed him away more by semi acting like I was happy without him. I was being upfront with him so I told him I was seeing someone else already, casually. I was angry so I was going back and forth from that and a "I miss him and no one else will do." attitude. I can tell he was upset about that but in the end he left ME so I told him why get mad? Was I supposed to be at home crying all day and not doing anything? He said he is trying to be a better person for me. I don't understand this logic at all and for some dumb reason I can't forget the moments we shared and I still want him back because I know that person I love is still in him somewhere cowering away.

 

I'm 19 and he is 25.

[CC12]

I think you have a lot of growing up to do and you're not ready for any kind of relationship. You don't seem to have good control over your behavior and it leads to situations like having the police called on you. You've also played some pretty strange games with your ex, like driving by his house to "pick up your stuff" when your true intention was to see him and talk to him, then getting your friend involved, then giving him mixed signals because you were angry with him.

 

He also seems to be unfit for a relationship and unable to react appropriately to your behavior. His family thinks he's unstable, and they're probably right. You should leave him alone and let his family help him get better.

 

I am being 100% serious about this.