vickiemh Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 (edited) Hi I will keep this as short as I can... I saw a guy for 4.5 years and I found out in may he had a wife and was seeing a girlfriend where we both work. Its too long to go into fully but he had his own place and he lied. To cut a long story short I hired an investigator who found this out for me. His wife kicked him out and he ended up with a girl who we both work with. Basically its august and its still hurting me so very very much. I emailed him to ask to see him and its taken away the hurt because he agreed to, I hope he will still want me even though in the back of my head I know hes a liar, cheat etc and it will never work. I miss him in my life. I know our relationship was going bad and he probably wants to see me so I have closure because of what he did but I feel twisted up inside.. I still love him dearly. To know he is with this girl at work breaks my heart every day and I cannot move on.. I have tried anti depressants, therapy and he wont go out of my head. I will have to play it by ear to see what he says at this meeting. I worry I will want to fall back into bed with him... I doubt his girlfriend would be pleased to know hes seeing me I am so scared, his wife tells me I deserve better and that hes a scumbag but its deep and I need help because I am not coping. I want to cry Edited August 10, 2014 by vickiemh added some words
leoc1973 Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 you have to stop looking for a fix. Only time will heal. Anti depressants work to fix a chemical imbalance in your brain. They aren't "happy pills" You are heartbroken and a pill that is designed to fix a problem in your brain isn't going to work because you have no problem in your brain its normal to feel this way. I hate therapy because you are pretty much paying someone a lot of money to do something that your girlfriends should be doing for you. They are supposed to take you out and get you drunk and laid and be your support system. The rule of thumb is for every year you were with someone take a month to heal. Seeing him is going to set you way back. I think pretty much everyone on this site can lecture you and tell you not to meet him and forget about him but lets face it... if given an opportunity you are going to end up sleeping with him and I am pretty sure you are going to tell his girlfriend about it too. I have to admit I am shocked he agreed to meet you. You broke up his marriage and he must know that you are probably going to tell his girlfriend about it or at least let it get back to him through co workers. I really hope for your sake that this guy wants to scream and yell at you for having him followed and letting his wife know. I hope he wants nothing to do with you. I am saying that for your sake and not his because he is a piece of **** and I hope you find a good guy. You were in a relationship with this guy for 4.5 years. You should be devistated and hurting. Cry it out, join a gym, go out with friends, date other guys. Don't look for a quick fix because there is nothing that can help with heartbreak.
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