writteninreverse Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Hey all, So i've gone on three dates with this person and things are going well so far. But i'm a bit stuck on ideas for things to do on the fourth date. So far we've played mini-golf (Date #1), done dinner at a restaurant (#2) and walked around the neighborhood (#3). The last date ended with a french kiss, which they initiated. I'd like to do something more relaxing next, so I was thinking a movie-night at home, which is a good idea because we mentioned a few movies so far that I own and are the genre she likes. But i'm wondering is it too soon to do this? i'm concerned that i'm going to sound like the sleazy guy who just wants sex. Another issue is the venue. I live in an 2-bedroom apartment with a roommate around, while this person has a 1-bedroom alone. So obviously their venue is a more private environment. But how do I suggest this idea and recommend her place without sounding like a dude with no class? Some suggestions i've seen include cooking dinner, which won't work because I can't cook to save my life. Link to post Share on other sites
katinlc Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 (edited) Movie night at my (or his) house is usually the norm for me by the 3rd or 4th date. You get tired of always having to go and do something by that point and want to just chill and have a relaxing night of getting to know the other person. I know the general consensus around here is that implies sex, but I have done this with the last 4 guys that have made it past date 2 and it has never even been implied that it meant sex. Most made hardly any moves as we sat next to each other on the couch and at the most it was couch cuddling with a kiss at the end of the night. I really think it depends on the people and their stated intentions. I make it a point to let any guy I'm interested in know that I am slow and take sex seriously, so maybe that's why it is no big deal to me. As far as how to get to her place, you can suggest a low-key movie night and if she agrees just ask - do you want to do it at your place or mine and mention your roommate. If she says hers, say great "why don't I pick up something for dinner?" Edited August 11, 2014 by katinlc grammar 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Dork Vader Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 I agree with the above.. Might I also suggest get a few board/card games you two can play. Uno, trouble, Jenga are all easy fast and fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Do something out of your comfort zone and take a cooking class together? My god how hard is it to cook spaghetti? heat up a can of sauce, buy some garlic bread, bottle of wine, there done. Fresh pasta takes only 3 mins to cook. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 The last date ended with a french kiss, which they initiated. There was more than one other person? Do the movie night, and order food in if you don't want to cook. See which she prefers... she might prefer her place for the privacy, or she might prefer your place thinking your roommate being there will keep you guys from having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author writteninreverse Posted August 11, 2014 Author Share Posted August 11, 2014 Thanks for the suggestions. I'd like to stress that i'm really not comfortable with the movie thing going down at my place. The main reason being that i'm very inexperienced (this is my first dating situation) and I know the fact that somebody is around is going to make me really nervous and totally kill my comfort level and ruin the evening. Also, I don't think my first cooking experience should be under the stresses of having another person anticipating the food. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Seeing you have a room mate it is also a safety net i consider it a safety net ....as it isnt me and a guy alone in a house......i have done movie nights with dates and it doesnt involve sex because i dont let it involve sex..... if she can cook what about making dinner together...... i have done this on a second date and it was fun.....we went shopping first and i saw how he reacted to other shoppers...when we were in a really long line which i chose to join.....he was courteous and kind to others....then we went back to his place and we made dinner together watched some television after and i went home he walked me home and he kissed me at the door.........he was living with an older male........and he couldn't cook to save his life.......so we made a stir fry together....with some left over for his house mate.....the only way you learn to cook is to cook, so do it together....its not a bad thing to have in your swag the ability to cook is good.....stir fried are easy and the smell.....yums...... board games as another poster said is a good idea too......i wish you well....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 So negative.....deb made some great suggestions. So what if the room mate is around, add them to the date and hang out together. And cooking dinner together is perfect....ask her to help you. Nothing can go wrong with making spaghetti if you buy the fresh pasta with a jar of sauce. Have some confidence for f uck sakes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 So negative.....deb made some great suggestions. So what if the room mate is around, add them to the date and hang out together. And cooking dinner together is perfect....ask her to help you. Nothing can go wrong with making spaghetti if you buy the fresh pasta with a jar of sauce. Have some confidence. i agree with you smackie i think it is better to have a person extra around in a house.....and cooking is going to be approached whiel dating so why nto make it sooner than later......with board games its good to have three people too,more fun....so ....sounds cool to me and safe no expectation of beign groped or put on the spot with a third person in the vicinity....deb..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author writteninreverse Posted August 11, 2014 Author Share Posted August 11, 2014 Sorry, but I am not interested in this incorporate-the-roommate-into-the-date thing. It's far too early to be including friends & people from my life into the the mix, to me that should be reserved for when we agree to be exclusive. But the cooking together thing sounds like fun, though i have no idea if she has any flair in the kitchen actually. I was thinking that having this at her place would be less suspect because she would have the 'home field advantage', as it were. Am I wrong, would nobody interpret it this way? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Sorry, but I am not interested in this incorporate-the-roommate-into-the-date thing. It's far too early to be including friends & people from my life into the the mix, to me that should be reserved for when we agree to be exclusive. Agreed. {Filler!} Link to post Share on other sites
katinlc Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 I was thinking that having this at her place would be less suspect because she would have the 'home field advantage', as it were. Am I wrong, would nobody interpret it this way? Girls can see it like this but they can also see it as risky to let you know where they live yet. Just really depends on the girl. For me it's been about 50/50 my place or theirs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author writteninreverse Posted August 11, 2014 Author Share Posted August 11, 2014 Girls can see it like this but they can also see it as risky to let you know where they live yet. Just really depends on the girl. For me it's been about 50/50 my place or theirs. Hmm, interesting. The last date I dropped her off on the street corner where she lives, but not outside her door directly. I was thinking this could be interpreted that she's not comfortable with me being in her 'home-space' yet. But now that I think about it, I dropped her off there because she lives on a one way street, so it would have been an inconvenience to go around 2 avenues to get to the other side of the street. Yet another reason why one-way streets are a pain Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Sorry, but I am not interested in this incorporate-the-roommate-into-the-date thing. It's far too early to be including friends & people from my life into the the mix, to me that should be reserved for when we agree to be exclusive. But the cooking together thing sounds like fun, though i have no idea if she has any flair in the kitchen actually. I was thinking that having this at her place would be less suspect because she would have the 'home field advantage', as it were. Am I wrong, would nobody interpret it this way? as a woamn i would appreciate the chance to flex my skill in another kitchen its fun......so home field advantage nah not really it gives em a chance to see fi the guy know what he has in his kitchen..... also improvisation and a certain sense of light heartedness i guess.....especially when cooking together i would prefer the guy be comfortable because i am comfortable in any kitchen.....i feel most women are.....that......deb Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Sorry, but I am not interested in this incorporate-the-roommate-into-the-date thing. It's far too early to be including friends & people from my life into the the mix, to me that should be reserved for when we agree to be exclusive. I am so the opposite. I have gone to parties and family events as a date....not a bad thing you know. You have anxiety? Link to post Share on other sites
Author writteninreverse Posted August 11, 2014 Author Share Posted August 11, 2014 I am so the opposite. I have gone to parties and family events as a date....not a bad thing you know. You have anxiety? Not about that no, I just don't think it's appropriate yet. Maybe around date #8-10, but not now. Link to post Share on other sites
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