cac3232 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 I'm 36 and am smitten for a 23 year old girl. We work for separate companies but see and work with one another several times a week. Over the last month, we've been texting a lot (both during the day and at night) and have gone to lunch a couple times. She seems into me. Unfortunately due to our work schedules, I've been unable to ask her out and get to know her better. The age difference worries me. I don't want to push things and come off as the creepy old guy to her. Especially if she's not interested in dating. Thoughts?
Assasda Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 I'm 36 and am smitten for a 23 year old girl. We work for separate companies but see and work with one another several times a week. Over the last month, we've been texting a lot (both during the day and at night) and have gone to lunch a couple times. She seems into me. Unfortunately due to our work schedules, I've been unable to ask her out and get to know her better. The age difference worries me. I don't want to push things and come off as the creepy old guy to her. Especially if she's not interested in dating. Thoughts? If it bothers you, then it will bother her. That is the bottom line. - So if you make the age difference and issue for you, it'll be an issue for her. Its the same thing with bald guys. Women ususally have no issue with bald guys, but if guys are self-conscious about it, and insecure, then it becomes an issue for the women 1
newmoon Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 this is like a bradley cooper/suki waterhouse match. the guy looks old enough to be her dad. but whatever. if you're both single and like one another, who cares? you might not be creepy to her, but expect the issues that come along with large age gaps. and you're old enough to know what those pitfalls are. she might not be. i have always dated 10-15 years above me and men don't know i do unless they try, you know? you never know what a woman likes until your try. young guys think i am checking them out but i am looking at their dads, lol. 1
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Half your age plus 7. So yes, she's too young for you.
preraph Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 You're not that old, in fact, prime time for men, I think is 30s, but a 23 year old girl really is usually still a girl and not very mature. You know, brains don't even fully form until mid-twenties. All I know, being a woman, is I tried to date a guy about that age when I was about your age and he was just way too immature for me. There are exceptions, but I think even a few more years older than her would be fine, like 28.
veggirl Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 different strokes and all that but yeah at 23 I would be thinking "ew, gross" about a 36 yr old man. I wouldn't even be texting someone that much older, so maybe that means she's cool with it. 2
amaysngrace Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 It's not my thing because I think someone that much older has an unfair advantage over someone so much younger. At least let the person's brain develop before you mess with it, okay? 1
gaius Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 There's worse things than ending up being that creepy older guy. Mainly missing out on something good because you're afraid of looking like that creepy older guy. 1
still_an_Angel Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Maybe she is into older/mature guys. She knows how old you are and if she wants to date you, then age is not a problem for her. You wouldn't be that old, creepy guy if she's into you. Just ask her out for coffee, you might be able to judge how to proceed with her. 2
Allumere Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Too young, way too young. You are at very different places in life....think about where you were at 23. 1
Gaeta Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 I don't have a problem with your age difference but I do have a problem with her age. If she were 33 and you 46 than it would be dandy. You both would be experienced adults. My problem lay with the fact she is 23, not so long ago she was a teenage girl. She has everything to discover about life while you've been around the block several times and back. 3
HappyLove Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Would you mind your 23 yr old daughter dating a man pushing 40?
deathandtaxes Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Ask her out already! Call her!! Sure you're at different stages in life, but you never really know until you try? You're letting fear get in the way of something. My personal opinion is that she's too young (I'm also 36 - I usually wouldn't chase anybody under 30), but stow away that fear and live! 1
aphroditescupid Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I say go for it. Just the fact that you are posting your concerns here shows that you are into her which means she is mature enough for you to consider dating her. Not all girls are immature. It depends where they are in life and what they have been through. Is she independent? Then she will be into mature guys. If she thought you were a creepy old dude she would not communicate with you or make you think like she seems into you. She may even be thinking the exact same thing as you "Am I too young for him?" If there is chemistry and sparks why does age matter? Yes you are so much older. So Be a man and ask her out. She will greatly appreciate it. I am actually in a similar situation. I'm around your girl's age and I like a classmate who is much older, who came back from the army. We have been flirting but he hasn't made any moves and I suspect it may be the age difference that makes him hesitant, according to our acquaintances. It is frustrating for me and I cannot bring myself to ask him out myself for the fear of just looking like a little girl with a crush. If you really want that girl, openly show interest more and ask her out and hang out with her so that it shows that you respect her as an equal and on your level. Don't keep on emphasizing anything related to age difference/ generation difference. All girls fantasize about a guy that is man enough to be straightforward. Go get her before some younger immature douchebag with balls steal you away from her. Your courage to ask her out will show her your sincerity and she will be impressed.
todreaminblue Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I think its more about maturity than age.....i have known guys in their forties who have a second childhood come on....and i have known of younger guys who are sincere and forthright.....its maturity not the number of years any person male or female, have been on this planet..... 1
giblesp Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 I'm 36 and am smitten for a 23 year old girl. We work for separate companies but see and work with one another several times a week. Over the last month, we've been texting a lot (both during the day and at night) and have gone to lunch a couple times. She seems into me. Unfortunately due to our work schedules, I've been unable to ask her out and get to know her better. The age difference worries me. I don't want to push things and come off as the creepy old guy to her. Especially if she's not interested in dating. Thoughts? A woman in her 20's and a man in his 30's can actually be a better match in my experience. Women grow up faster on a mental level, but men in their 30's should have had some life experience. The only real issue is if you are going to treat her with full respect. 2
Glamvineflower Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 If you don't push you will never get anywhere with her. I agree with the few comments here that said the only issue would be you treating her with respect/as an equal. If you act like there is a huge age difference it will show and affect her. Treat her with respect and she will be more open to dating you. If you don't want to be creepy just be casual first, ask her out for coffee or lunch at work but let it be just you two and not with other coworkers. Connect to her on a personal level and then ask her out for dinner/drinks. Do nice things for her. Text her more personal content. Be consistent. Be clear. Age doesn't determine maturity, experience does. And hey she might even be more mature than you. 2
readynow Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 My bf is 18yrs older than me and HE was a bit iffy about it at the start. I was more than fine with it. Since she's been texting you and knows your age, she's probably ok with it. One thing I should ask is if you've been married or had kids. If yes, I'd say let her be to give her an opportunity to meet someone she can experience life fresh with. Otherwise, I say go ahead and ask :-D
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