jjtr Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 A week ago, I went on a first date with a girl I met on a dating website. It went really well, much better than I expected. Three hours flew by with no awkward breaks in conversation. She initiated the hug at the end of the date and she suggested that we do it again. I agreed. We've been exchanging sporadic texts all week and are going on our second date this upcoming Tuesday, but I'm already beginning to worry our schedules after this week will ruin things. She has a trip scheduled the week following this one and I have a trip scheduled the week after that. Am I worrying for no reason? We seemed to hit it off well on the first date and I'm confident that the second one will go well, but I am just concerned about the couple weeks gap that, due to schedules, is inevitable. Assuming this upcoming second date goes well and we both want to continue onward, any suggestions on how to go about things during that in-between time? I don't want to be overbearing, but I also don't want to slip her mind.
Assasda Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 why are you worrying? She could end up not liking you. Is she an instesting person? Does she have any hobbies that you like? Does she do anything thats cool? Is she funny? Please dont send any "How are you" Texts
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Could you choose a date for the third date at the end of the second? Something like "man, we're both going to be busy for the next while, with you being gone for a week then me being gone for a week. But I get back on Saturday night, so why don't we go for lunch on Sunday?" Then, while she's away maybe text her a few times, keep it light with something like "hey, hope your trip is gone well!" If she responds, you might be able to talk a bit. If not, then just leave her be until she's back.
Author jjtr Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 why are you worrying? She could end up not liking you. Is she an instesting person? Does she have any hobbies that you like? Does she do anything thats cool? Is she funny? Please dont send any "How are you" Texts Point taken on the first few sentences. That's still a possibility. Given the nature of the first date, though, I'd venture to say we were both interested. We share a lot of the same interests and, yes, I did find her to be an interesting person who is easy to talk to and has a great personality from what I gathered. Could you choose a date for the third date at the end of the second? Something like "man, we're both going to be busy for the next while, with you being gone for a week then me being gone for a week. But I get back on Saturday night, so why don't we go for lunch on Sunday?" Then, while she's away maybe text her a few times, keep it light with something like "hey, hope your trip is gone well!" If she responds, you might be able to talk a bit. If not, then just leave her be until she's back. Yeah, this is what I was thinking of doing, assuming things go well. I was sort of planning on setting a tentative date for when we both return and then telling her to free free to call while I'm on vacation.
newmoon Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 a lengthy break inbetween dates slows momentum, but if someone likes you right now they will like you when they get back. i wouldn't bother a new person on their vacay though, that would be bizarre since you're not even a bf/gf. just set up a date for when she gets back and wait.
organizedchaos Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 a lengthy break inbetween dates slows momentum, but if someone likes you right now they will like you when they get back. i wouldn't bother a new person on their vacay though, that would be bizarre since you're not even a bf/gf. just set up a date for when she gets back and wait. Exactly. And let her initiate any texts while she's away. Since she's going first, that's a good gauge of her interest. Then you can reciprocate when you go away.
Author jjtr Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 Exactly. And let her initiate any texts while she's away. Since she's going first, that's a good gauge of her interest. Then you can reciprocate when you go away. What if I don't get any texts from her while she's away? Chalk it up as not that interested or just that she's busy with her vacation?
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 What if I don't get any texts from her while she's away? Chalk it up as not that interested or just that she's busy with her vacation? This is why I would check in part way through her vacation. I don't know her, but maybe saying "Just thinking of you and thought I would say hi" would be appropriate.
Author jjtr Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 This is why I would check in part way through her vacation. I don't know her, but maybe saying "Just thinking of you and thought I would say hi" would be appropriate. This is what typically would feel normal and natural to me, but I have been accused of the "moving too quickly" thing several times before in the past and it has made me second-guess myself a bit.
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 This is what typically would feel normal and natural to me, but I have been accused of the "moving too quickly" thing several times before in the past and it has made me second-guess myself a bit. See how your second date goes then. If a girl was into you and agreeing to a third date, I highly doubt a text or two between the second and third dates would negate that.
organizedchaos Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 This is why I would check in part way through her vacation. I don't know her, but maybe saying "Just thinking of you and thought I would say hi" would be appropriate. Do not do this. You've had one date, she might not text. So here's what you can do. Give her some time away. Maybe a few days in to it text her a photo of something funny, lame, relevant to something you talked about, whatever. Keep it very light and say you hope she's having a fantastic vacation. Be playful. See how she responds.
deathandtaxes Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 You're putting the cart before the horse. Why even worry about a third date when you haven't had the second? This kind of stuff will just eat at you for no good reason. It will cloud your second date like nothing else. Don't worry a fig about any time that will elapse. Just enjoy the second date. And jeez, if you really like each other, I'm sure you can make it happen to see each other before she leaves on her trip. Just sayin.
PegNosePete Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 The day after I first met my partner, I went to the Himalayas for 3 weeks. As long as you're both aware of what's going on (you're not talking to each other because you're away, not because you're not interested) then it can work out just fine.
bu2002 Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 See how the second date goes and if y'all end up planning a third one. If things are going well then you will usually have a sense that a third date is a certainty. To prevent any slowdown in momentum during the interim, make sure you have good texting game......don't ever ask her "What's up" or "how's it going"
Author jjtr Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 See how the second date goes and if y'all end up planning a third one. If things are going well then you will usually have a sense that a third date is a certainty. To prevent any slowdown in momentum during the interim, make sure you have good texting game......don't ever ask her "What's up" or "how's it going" I rarely ever send anyone texts that simply say, "what's up?" so I don't have to worry there. I usually try to reference something we've laughed about or memorable moments from dates. Anyhow, had date number two and it probably went better than the first. I was hoping to meet right after work, but she had some stuff she needed to get done, so we met for dinner a few hours later. Turned into another three hours of good laughs and natural/unforced conversation. Very refreshing considering it has been awhile since I've found someone who is so easy to talk to and who has their stuff together. Wasn't sure whether or not to go for the kiss, so initially went cheek and a hug, but as we released the hug, I sort of just kept my hands on her arms and looked at her. Seemed like we both were on the same page, because we both went in for a kiss, then back in for a second. Didn't setup concrete plans for when we both get back, but we did tentatively discuss it. When I shot her a quick message this morning thanking her for the great evening, she responded saying back at you and that it was a bummer I was going on vacation right after her. Has only been a few dates, but I'm enjoying my time with her and it will be tough to not see her for three weeks. Hopefuly we keep in touch during the gap a but more. That said, I'm much more positive now than I was prior to last night and am going to stop being a pessimist and look at it as the length of time in between date two and three will just build anticipation. Anyway, just thought I'd update.
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