GTO06 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Ok, so I'm pretty new to the world of dating, but the one thing that I have found that irritates me the most about women is that you simply can't get the truth about anything out of them. Even the women that say they are super honest are just flat out hypocrites. In fact, I never in my life met a truly honest woman including any friends or family members. Even on the simplest level, lets say they decline a second date or something and you just want to know why purely for self improvement. They are NEVER straight with you and always give you the run around with no direct answer. Why can't they just say what the problem is? How do women ever expect us to become better daters if they never tell us what they didn't like about it? So what's the deal ladies, why is it so agonizing for you to just tell it like it is?
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 So, you're just jaded and ranting and generalizing for no purpose? 10
Smilecharmer Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Women try to be nice. It isn't their job to teach you how to improve. You need to learn how to interact better and stop with the women aren't honest crap. Not telling you something mean or hurtful is how women are taught to be and it isn't dishonest. It just isn't helpful to you. Think of it this way, some men when hearing that women don't want to go out together anymore beat them up, hurl expletives at them, stalks them or sometimes kills them. Is it any wonder women don't tell you that you have bad breath and are super needy and they have no chemistry with you? If you have this all women are dishonest theory based on women not telling you why they really isn't go out with you again, my guess is you feel a little hostile to them. 8
SoleMate Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Women as a class are not "terrified of honesty" generally. I know many women both IRL and on LS who embrace honesty and practice it relentlessly, even when it costs them. (Same with men.) OTOH, being honest does NOT mean a woman owes answers to every question she is asked. (Nor does a man.) She has every right to deflect a question from you. And she is well-advised to do so if you give any sign of thinking you are entitled to that answer, or will become hostile if it is either no provided or does not meet your satisfaction. How do women ever expect us to become better daters if they never tell us what they didn't like about it? You're making so many unwarranted assumptions there, it would be time-consuming and exhausting to fully respond. Just for one point, as previously noted, it was not that woman's job to be your dating coach and she almost certainly has no desire for you to improve your dating skills. OP, women on LS have spoken to you honestly, so now it's your chance to show how well you take that and make it glad we took the time to answer you ......honestly. Trust me, this is good practice for you. 10
Author GTO06 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 (edited) Sorry, these answers don't make sense to me. Learning comes from experience. It's no different than learning to drive a car. You can be taught as much as you want about it in books, but until you get in that drivers seat and actually drive, you'll never learn for real. From what you guys said, no one is obligated to learn from each other when dating?; I can't believe that. If women/men never give feedback to one another about dates, it wouldn't matter if you have been on 6 dates or 600, you wouldn't have learned anything to get any better. Maybe I misunderstood you guys or something, but that seems pretty ridiculous to me... Edited August 10, 2014 by GTO06
ktya Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 1. You are coming at this in that it's somehow the fame genders job to teach you how to be a better lover or more attractive which is ludicrous. A kind woman who likes you as a friend might opt to do this but certainly not a date or romantic interest. She felt nothing and is just as disappointed as you are. 2. Women do beat around the bush in general, especially when dating. Deal with it. 3. Three quarters of your dating problem is likely your attitude. I can't imagine a woman finding you much fun to be around. Work on being easy to get along with. 1
Imajerk17 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Ok, so I'm pretty new to the world of dating, but the one thing that I have found that irritates me the most about women is that you simply can't get the truth about anything out of them. Even the women that say they are super honest are just flat out hypocrites. In fact, I never in my life met a truly honest woman including any friends or family members. Even on the simplest level, lets say they decline a second date or something and you just want to know why purely for self improvement. They are NEVER straight with you and always give you the run around with no direct answer. Why can't they just say what the problem is? How do women ever expect us to become better daters if they never tell us what they didn't like about it? So what's the deal ladies, why is it so agonizing for you to just tell it like it is? A few thoughts on this: 1. At the end of the day, people are "nice" (conflict-avoidant) primarily for THEIR sake, not yours. This includes frustrating behavior such as giving you their number but not returning your communication after that, to saying she had a good time but then completely ignoring you after the date. It was a big lesson that I learned that saved me a lot of grief. 2. The decent thing for her in this situation is to do is to give you a straight respectful answer that there won't be a second date, but that's about it. It's not her job to be your dating coach. If she gets back to you after the first date saying that she enjoyed meeting you but that she doesn't feel a connection so she isn't interested in pursuing this further (whatever the "real" reason might be), then she fulfilled her duty of "being honest". 5
Easyguy14 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Ok, so I'm pretty new to the world of dating, but the one thing that I have found that irritates me the most about women is that you simply can't get the truth about anything out of them. Even the women that say they are super honest are just flat out hypocrites. In fact, I never in my life met a truly honest woman including any friends or family members. Even on the simplest level, lets say they decline a second date or something and you just want to know why purely for self improvement. They are NEVER straight with you and always give you the run around with no direct answer. Why can't they just say what the problem is? How do women ever expect us to become better daters if they never tell us what they didn't like about it? So what's the deal ladies, why is it so agonizing for you to just tell it like it is? I've had a woman tell me I just wasn't her type of guy that she usually goes for. I don't think any self improvement would've made a difference.
Author GTO06 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 2. The decent thing for her in this situation is to do is to give you a straight respectful answer that there won't be a second date, but that's about it. It's not her job to be your dating coach. If she gets back to you after the first date saying that she enjoyed meeting you but that she doesn't feel a connection so she isn't interested in pursuing this further (whatever the "real" reason might be), then she fulfilled her duty of "being honest". I've had a woman tell me I just wasn't her type of guy that she usually goes for. I don't think any self improvement would've made a difference. Wow, I wish I could even get that! You guys got more response there than what I have received in all my dates. I haven't even got that straight of an answer out of any of them yet and most communications were even made via email and they still gave me next to nothing for feedback. Maybe the girls I've dated so far are just inherently rude or selfish?; I don't know but is is irritating regardless.
TXGuy Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 It is not their responsibility to make you a better dater. They will simply tell you whatever they think will make you go away with the least amount of drama or discomfort. While there are plenty of things for men to be upset about with women (and for women with men), this is not one of them. 2
aprilisi Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Here is an example why women find it hard to be honest. My friend broke up with her boyfriend because he was unfaithful. He started stalking her. For months she tried to be nice, they had kid. She wanted to keep it friendly. The night she went missing she had a big argument. She let everything out. I was not a witness to this, but I hear she was brutal. But she'd been saying a while that she should just be honest about things. Of course, he is only suspect, he was last seen with her and he ran. But to answer your question, his is one of the many reasons women are terrified of honesty. m.wdbj7.com/UPDATED-Missing-woman-s-body-found-in-Grayson-County/20521202 2
Author GTO06 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 Here is an example why women find it hard to be honest. My friend broke up with her boyfriend because he was unfaithful. He started stalking her. For months she tried to be nice, they had kid. She wanted to keep it friendly. The night she went missing she had a big argument. She let everything out. I was not a witness to this, but I hear she was brutal. But she'd been saying a while that she should just be honest about things. Of course, he is only suspect, he was last seen with her and he ran. But to answer your question, his is one of the many reasons women are terrified of honesty. m.wdbj7.com/UPDATED-Missing-woman-s-body-found-in-Grayson-County/20521202 A morbid but perfect example. If she would have been consistently honest from the beginning instead of dropping it all at once after not being honest for so long, that probably wouldn't of happened now would it?
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Here is an example why women find it hard to be honest. My friend broke up with her boyfriend because he was unfaithful. He started stalking her. For months she tried to be nice, they had kid. She wanted to keep it friendly. The night she went missing she had a big argument. She let everything out. I was not a witness to this, but I hear she was brutal. But she'd been saying a while that she should just be honest about things. Of course, he is only suspect, he was last seen with her and he ran. But to answer your question, his is one of the many reasons women are terrified of honesty. m.wdbj7.com/UPDATED-Missing-woman-s-body-found-in-Grayson-County/20521202 So... "Women are dishonest because otherwise they'd be murdered." Is that what you're trying to say?
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 A morbid but perfect example. If she would have been consistently honest from the beginning instead of dropping it all at once after not being honest for so long, that probably wouldn't of happened now would it? Did you really just try to blame the woman's murder on her? 8
fred123 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Here is an example why women find it hard to be honest. My friend broke up with her boyfriend because he was unfaithful. He started stalking her. For months she tried to be nice, they had kid. She wanted to keep it friendly. The night she went missing she had a big argument. She let everything out. I was not a witness to this, but I hear she was brutal. But she'd been saying a while that she should just be honest about things. Of course, he is only suspect, he was last seen with her and he ran. But to answer your question, his is one of the many reasons women are terrified of honesty. m.wdbj7.com/UPDATED-Missing-woman-s-body-found-in-Grayson-County/20521202 so that justifies why women mislead guys and play with their feelings when they have no romantic interest in them whatsoever
aprilisi Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 A morbid but perfect example. If she would have been consistently honest from the beginning instead of dropping it all at once after not being honest for so long, that probably wouldn't of happened now would it? I can't believe someone would say that. I am truly flabbergasted. Or maybe I shouldn't be surprised. The world is going to hell. 5
Author GTO06 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 Did you really just try to blame the woman's murder on her? Of course not, but from the little info they gave it sounded like the end result could of been avoided. She even said they had a kid because she was just "being nice"? That sounds psychotic on its own
Zeurich Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Even on the simplest level, lets say they decline a second date or something and you just want to know why purely for self improvement. They are NEVER straight with you and always give you the run around with no direct answer. Why can't they just say what the problem is? Your question is truly understandable for a person who went through the same. Well I have been on few dates. Not that much 3. Non of them clicked as much I have hoped. As you mentioned one guy asked me "why you don't want to see me again what did I do wrong"? So I have told him exactly what I felt and what I did not like from him. Honestly I think it is the same for woman too. But I have to tell you the same thing about the guys too. Two other guys came for second date too and all the sudden they stop talking did not even return a phone call or did not reply to any of my smses or they did not even decline just ignored. So it is simply not woman only aren't they?? People has their own ways of rejecting things some people are straight forward and say exactly what they feel, some people are hiding under the tables or gone with the wind and missing no ware to find. That is their own way of rejecting things. And also if the other party declined the second date I don't think that they owe you any reasoning or excuse. They are not bonded to say anything to you. Bust at some point it is nice to be straight forward say what is the issue is. I wish you good luck with your new date!
Smilecharmer Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 A morbid but perfect example. If she would have been consistently honest from the beginning instead of dropping it all at once after not being honest for so long, that probably wouldn't of happened now would it? I'm not surprised you didn't get a second date based on your answer here to someone who was sharing something devastatingly sad. I'm just surprised you got a first one. This is an indicator to me that you have no empathy and are self absorbed. Might be a hint on what they found lacking in you as a date. I'm out of here. You need more than advice, you need compassion and manners. 9
Author GTO06 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 Your question is truly understandable for a person who went through the same. Well I have been on few dates. Not that much 3. Non of them clicked as much I have hoped. As you mentioned one guy asked me "why you don't want to see me again what did I do wrong"? So I have told him exactly what I felt and what I did not like from him. Honestly I think it is the same for woman too. But I have to tell you the same thing about the guys too. Two other guys came for second date too and all the sudden they stop talking did not even return a phone call or did not reply to any of my smses or they did not even decline just ignored. So it is simply not woman only aren't they?? People has their own ways of rejecting things some people are straight forward and say exactly what they feel, some people are hiding under the tables or gone with the wind and missing no ware to find. That is their own way of rejecting things. And also if the other party declined the second date I don't think that they owe you any reasoning or excuse. They are not bonded to say anything to you. Bust at some point it is nice to be straight forward say what is the issue is. I wish you good luck with your new date! I think this is the most sensible response so far. I guess since I'm such an honest guy I didn't really think about that some guys do the same thing as most women in terms of using disconnecting as a means of rejection. I just would never do that as it just seems so counter productive. I'm just a very open person that tells it like it is and I guess a lot of people just don't like, or aren't brave enough, finishing what they started by just saying the reasons for their actions. Too bad the people in this world aren't just more level headed in general Thanks
Author GTO06 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 I'm not surprised you didn't get a second date based on your answer here to someone who was sharing something devastatingly sad. I'm just surprised you got a first one. This is an indicator to me that you have no empathy and are self absorbed. Might be a hint on what they found lacking in you as a date. I'm out of here. You need more than advice, you need compassion and manners. You are incorrect maam. I just have little sympothy when people try to add an extreme situation to the conversation that has no proof of even having to do with what they said. Neither the poster or the press has any real idea what happens in most news stories anyways
Rockemsockem Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 (edited) People don't like rejecting people it sucks and no it's not just women. Most people are not going to run off list of things they didn't like about you because they end up sounding like an ******* and what do they get from it nothing? It's not their job to teach you how to attract them, hell what they find annoying could be endearing to someone else. Basically risk vs reward for pointing out why they didn't want to date you isn't worth it. Most people do not take criticism well at all. As others have said if they declined a second date they really don't owe you anything. If I was to point out something about you that would kill probably 99% of your dates would be victim blaming. There's some honest feedback for you. Edited August 10, 2014 by Rockemsockem 1
aprilisi Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 OP, you asked a question, I answered it. Honestly. Sure, it's extreme, but it's true. You get an honest answer from a woman and you make light of it. Maybe this is one reason you're having problems. I'll give you another honest answer, since it seems you can't handle the other one maybe they don't trust you yet and are afraid to be honest. Or maybe they're testing you. 1
Author GTO06 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 It's fortunate for these women that they do not want to see you again...very fortunate. I certainly do not wish you any luck in finding a woman...it would be her misfortune. Wow, amazing how rude people can be on these sites, or maybe again it's just women. Guess most people just can't understand the concept of honesty. Anyways, if you're not going to be constructive with your comments, we don't need your feedback anyways
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