emoore2013 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 So I met a banker in his mid 20s at a bar last week and we really seemed to have hit it off. Keep in mind I am barely 21. Anyway, we talked for about an hour away from the rest of the crowd, along with my girlfriend and one of his work buddies talking to each other seperately. I am only temporarily in the city interning and I told him I would only be here for a short while longer. He ended up asking for my number and said that he was going to have a pregame that weekend. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and left with his friend. I texted him that night saying it was great to meet him and he responded likewise and that he hoped I could come to the pregame. I texted him the day of the supposed pregame and he said that it wasn't happening but that he was out for happy hour and would be around that night if I wanted to hang out. I said I would text him later to meet up in which I did with no response, even the next day. I just don't understand why he didn't respond, when I thought there was potential. Is it because I'm leaving soon or what, does he just not like me? We also added each other on snapchat/Facebook but no direct communication since that last text convo.
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 So I met a banker in his mid 20s at a bar last week and we really seemed to have hit it off. Keep in mind I am barely 21. Anyway, we talked for about an hour away from the rest of the crowd, along with my girlfriend and one of his work buddies talking to each other seperately. I am only temporarily in the city interning and I told him I would only be here for a short while longer. He ended up asking for my number and said that he was going to have a pregame that weekend. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and left with his friend. I texted him that night saying it was great to meet him and he responded likewise and that he hoped I could come to the pregame. I texted him the day of the supposed pregame and he said that it wasn't happening but that he was out for happy hour and would be around that night if I wanted to hang out. I said I would text him later to meet up in which I did with no response, even the next day. I just don't understand why he didn't respond, when I thought there was potential. Is it because I'm leaving soon or what, does he just not like me? We also added each other on snapchat/Facebook but no direct communication since that last text convo. He wanted a one-night stand and got cold feet.
d0nnivain Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 The whole encounter met more to you then him. He was happy to talk to you in a bar & text casually. You wanted a relationship which for him was a non-starter. Stop chasing after him. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Eh, he's probably got someone else on the go too and made other plans that night before you texted. I wouldn't take it personally as you barely know him. Adding someone on FB/etc doesn't mean much to a lot of people; they collect "friends" like a hobby or something, even though they're virtually strangers 1
Author emoore2013 Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 I am definitely not chasing him and none of my actions signal wanting a relationship, especially considering we have only met once. Mind you, he's the one who supposedly wanted to hang out at a pregame at his place. He doesn't have a gf.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 I am definitely not chasing him and none of my actions signal wanting a relationship, especially considering we have only met once. Mind you, he's the one who supposedly wanted to hang out at a pregame at his place. He doesn't have a gf. He wanted to hang out, but his intentions are what I would question. Ah, well. His loss.
d0nnivain Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 I am definitely not chasing him and none of my actions signal wanting a relationship, especially considering we have only met once. Mind you, he's the one who supposedly wanted to hang out at a pregame at his place. He doesn't have a gf. You might not but if that was my impression of your behavior based on what you wrote so you need to open yourself to the possibility that it was also his impression. Either way, his actions make it clear that he's not into you. What else is there?
KatZee Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 I read something about this a while back. Sometimes a guy will flirt with a girl, and work to get her number just so he can know he still has game and can get a woman. It's not necessarily because he's so into you and wants to pursue something. A man may also get your number and act interested because he WAS interested, but only at that moment. Now that he went home, sobered up, and thought about it. Now he could be a lot more lukewarm about the whole thing and uninterested in taking anything further. A guy like this may also be talking to several women that he meets out and rotating them into his schedule. Someone already mentioned it, don't chase him. Don't contact him again, don't invite him to hang out or get together. If he really is interested, he will take initiative and ask you to get together on his own. 1
Author emoore2013 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 How does a guy get cold feet from a one night stand?
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 How does a guy get cold feet from a one night stand? He only wanted a ONS. If the woman pursued beyond that. the guy runs.
michellew Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I am definitely not chasing him and none of my actions signal wanting a relationship, especially considering we have only met once. Mind you, he's the one who supposedly wanted to hang out at a pregame at his place. He doesn't have a gf. You texted him the night you met and the day of the pregame...you did the chasing. A lot of men like to do the chasing. I would have let him text me first.
Author emoore2013 Posted August 15, 2014 Author Posted August 15, 2014 You texted him the night you met and the day of the pregame...you did the chasing. A lot of men like to do the chasing. I would have let him text me first. I didn't initiate the first convo when we met. As for the next one, yes I did but he asked when I wanted to meet up to which I responded with no final reply on his end. Aka he left me hanging.
Supernatural Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Another girl probably caught his attention that night. He definitely only wanted a quick hookup. I hate this quick hook up world.. So shallow and weak. I wouldn't put much effort in to this at all. Sounds like a bum anyways. I hate the word 'pregaming' it sounds so douchie... And anyone who says pregame is trapped in their high school years. I want to punch them when I hear someone say that. "Come pregame with me and my bro's!" You're barely 21. Find a good guy, and don't waste your time with nonsense guys like this. 1
mammasita Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 PREGAME: A) snacks before a sporting event? B) study time before trivial pursuit? C) beers and shots with the bro-skis before the real drinks at the bar (saves money)?
Author emoore2013 Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 He added me on snapchat and is looking at all of my "stories" aka pictures and videos. Just so happens to have started after I changed my profile pic on Facebook. I know I should forget this guy but he strikes me as someone I would want to get to know (he's had long-term relationships, good family and friend circles).
Zippy2000 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Why do people add each other so fast on Facebook? With my experience when I got to know a new girl. I d be curious about her and in the early days of Facebook I d add her. Only for me to see her with different pics and her lifetsyle that put me off. I then did the "slow fade" but I guess he just chnaged his mind and decided to disappear rather than hurt your feelings.
bastus Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 <p>may be he play hard to get because its you who texted him first ? Since u seem curious with this guy , then go after him ,time will answer all ..</p>
moonlightpath Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I'm a firm believer that if a guy wants you he WILL make an effort to communicate with you. This guy just sounds like he wanted a causal hookup with you but then lost interest and moved on to the next girl at the bar. 2
MissBee Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 (edited) So I met a banker in his mid 20s at a bar last week and we really seemed to have hit it off. Keep in mind I am barely 21. Anyway, we talked for about an hour away from the rest of the crowd, along with my girlfriend and one of his work buddies talking to each other seperately. I am only temporarily in the city interning and I told him I would only be here for a short while longer. He ended up asking for my number and said that he was going to have a pregame that weekend. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and left with his friend. I texted him that night saying it was great to meet him and he responded likewise and that he hoped I could come to the pregame. I texted him the day of the supposed pregame and he said that it wasn't happening but that he was out for happy hour and would be around that night if I wanted to hang out. I said I would text him later to meet up in which I did with no response, even the next day. I just don't understand why he didn't respond, when I thought there was potential. Is it because I'm leaving soon or what, does he just not like me? We also added each other on snapchat/Facebook but no direct communication since that last text convo. Girl, Don't sweat it. One thing you need to learn about dating is that you'll meet men, hit it off seemingly and it falls flat. You can't take these things too seriously or get too hung up on it. It happens. Also one hour of talking to someone at a bar and looking at their FB means nothing. You don't know him and even though he may "seem" like someone you'd want to get to know..,who knows how he really is...and his actions prove that maybe you should stop thinking of him as some great guy whom you still want to know even after he's blown you off. His FB facade and whatever else aren't the whole story so don't idealize him in your mind. This guy to me seems like he wasn't ever interested in dating you. He never asked you on a proper date. Come over for a pregame??? Wtf...and that wasn't happening, so he said he was gonna go to happy hour and would "be around that night" sounds like the perfect fccuuk buddy setup. He seemed like he thought you were attractive and would potentially sleep with you, but I can bet he also has other options and you are just one of them. None of his actions seemed like those of a man who wants to know you and date you...a man who does would have invited you out on a proper date and made concrete plans, not to a pregame and to a night time, unconfirmed, ambiguous hangout because he's "around". Take it for what it is and brush it off. You guys didn't even know each other well and fortunately you didn't sleep with him and you didn't even go on a date so there really is no reason to worry about him. It happens. To survive in the dating world you have to have thick skin and not invest too much time or emotions into situations not worth it. My attitude is: dudes will be flaky and until a man proves otherwise it's whatever. I have gone on dates and we never spoke again, or exchanged numbers and was never called or called once and then they disappear etc...I just take it for what it is and shrug it off and only invest in men who are consistent and invested by their actions. Edited August 18, 2014 by MissBee 3
mightycpa Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I am definitely not chasing him and none of my actions signal wanting a relationship, especially considering we have only met once. Mind you, he's the one who supposedly wanted to hang out at a pregame at his place. He doesn't have a gf. Maybe he found out his gf was coming to the pregame after all. This kinda happened to me once. I threw a going away party for someone I worked with, and I was all set to give her the greatest going away present I could imagine (yes, my ego was that big) and then my gf announces she's coming to the bash. My plans went straight down the tubes. Maybe his did too. It's not like he is too busy... after all, they are called "bankers' hours" for a reason.
Author emoore2013 Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 Maybe he found out his gf was coming to the pregame after all. This kinda happened to me once. I threw a going away party for someone I worked with, and I was all set to give her the greatest going away present I could imagine (yes, my ego was that big) and then my gf announces she's coming to the bash. My plans went straight down the tubes. Maybe his did too. It's not like he is too busy... after all, they are called "bankers' hours" for a reason. He doesn't have a gf though. They broke up a few months ago and evidently aren't Facebook friends anymore if that means anything. Also, it doesn't look like he's hooking up with or seeing anyone.
mightycpa Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 He doesn't have a gf though. They broke up a few months ago and evidently aren't Facebook friends anymore if that means anything. Also, it doesn't look like he's hooking up with or seeing anyone. You met with him for about an hour, and the rest of your relationship consists of texting. But Facebook tells you all you need to know, because it's not like people have multiple Facebook accounts or anything. 1
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